Alpha male syndrom

The alpha male syndrome. If this complex set of characteristics becomes unbalanced, legendary strengths can turn into destructive flaws. by Kate Ludeman and Eddie Erlandson, World Business. Human history is the story of alphas, those indispensable powerhouses who take charge, conquer new worlds and move heaven and earth to make things happen ... Diagnosis. Doctors can diagnose alpha-gal syndrome using a combination of your personal history and certain medical tests. Your doctor will likely start by asking about your exposure to ticks, your signs and symptoms, and how long it took for symptoms to develop after you ate red meat or other mammal products. The Alpha Male Syndrome Synopsis Kate Ludeman, PhD & Eddie Erlandson, MD Worth Ethic Corporation The business world is a natural habitat of alpha males. Whether they're larger-than-life legends who run giant companies or the heads of little-known firms and small departments, these aggressive powerhouses are hardwired for achievement and eager ... Even if you think you’re not an alpha male or alpha female, take this leadership assessment. You’ll get tips for developing your unique alpha strengths. The Alpha Male Syndrome shows alphas how to have more impact and describes how other people can work more effectively with alphas. Alpha-gal syndrome is a recently identified type of food allergy to red meat and other products made from mammals. In the United States, the condition most often begins when a Lone Star tick bites someone. The bite transmits a sugar molecule called alpha-gal into the person's body. In some people, this triggers an immune system reaction that ... The institution of the alpha male is common to several species, including virtually all primates. At any given time, one male dominates the group, which, among other things, gives him the ... Alpha Male Traits and Beta Male Traits: A Primer on What Separates the Alphas from the Betas. To understand how to be an alpha male and develop an alpha male personality and mindset, we must go beyond the esoteric and enter into the practical. ... Betas, on the other hand, fall into “The Nice Guy Syndrome.” ... Answer these simple questions about yourself, and this quiz can help you figure out if you're an alpha male! Fun. This test is not based on any scientific study whatsoever. It is intended for fun only so do not treat the result too seriously :) Answers. Do not think about the answers too long. If you think you answered incorrectly, you can ... Alpha Mal Traits Being an alpha male is more involved than you think. When people hear the term “Alpha Male” it, it usually conjures up mental imagery of a super good looking guy who holds the traits of being strong, muscular and charming – all at the same time. This classic representation of such men can be found in many modern day movies. The Alpha Syndrome problems didn't happen over night, so the solutions will take time. If you stick to the program, you will see changes. Work on eye contact with your dog. Trace a line from your dog's face to yours and say, 'look.' Hold a toy or treat to make it more interesting. Reward even a glance with praise or the treat.

I've never felt manly enough

2020.09.11 23:26 REVERSEZOOM2 I've never felt manly enough

Hey guys, apologize for the long post in advance. I'm a 20-year-old dude that has struggled with feeling like a man for most of my life. I was bullied since a young age, never had many friends (especially no male friends), and was always made fun of for being very skinny and into more "girly" things (theater, music, etc). There was a good chance I was sexually abused as a child as well. In school. I was oddly "flirted" with by tons of "big" dudes because of my small frame. I absolutely HATED THIS. I HATED feeling so weak and small. To make matters worse, because of this I have never been able to make deep enough connections with dudes and all of my friendships have been with women. My father isn't an ideal male role model so I didn't even have a positive male role model to look up to. Well fast forward to adult life, I decided to take up lifting and bulked up quite a bit and have noticeable muscle mass and have changed my personality to a more traditional "male personality", but have kept most of my "girly" interests, friendships, and ideals (I'm highly empathetic, don't care for cars or sports, etc) . Most people nowadays see me as a highly respectable "alpha male" (for lack of a better term). However, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I just don't feel like a man in the traditional sense. I'm not loud, arrogant, or even very macho, Basically, I feel imposter syndrome when it comes to being a man.
Usually, I can just shake the feeling and it doesn't bother me long after, but whenever my self-esteem is on the floor the thoughts come back. I just feel weak and fragile, all things I associate with women, and feelings that are unacceptable for men to feel. I made the mistake of joining a gender studies class in college, and because of my OCD, it did not go well. All of these intrusive thoughts of "what if I'm really just not meant to be a guy?" filled my head because of my past and the vague terminology surrounding trans ideas. It also doesn't help that everywhere is filled with "female propaganda" for lack of a better term, like there are no male role models in society anymore and they've all been replaced with women, setting the societal standard as "female", leaving males completely behind. I find these feelings absurd cause most of the time I love being a guy and have absolutely love my body I hate it because no matter how many girls I'm able to win over I just CAN'T shake the imposter feeling, like I'm not worthy of being a man. No matter how hard I try I can't be as macho or as tough as society says I should be.
Anyways rant over, thank you guys for reading, I just wanted to know if you guys had any experience with feelings like this. However, I realize I will need to go to a therapist to get this sorted out. Any advice is welcome.
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2020.09.07 03:54 Readerstein [Sweet Nola] - Chapter 12

Chapter 1
Nola sat at the dining table in the kitchen with her laptop in front. She scrolled through her college emails. She found out that her college results were going to be released next week. She was excited to see how high her results were going to be. She closed her email and switched back to a life simulation game she was playing. It was a sequel to an old computer game she had played in her youth. It brought back feelings of nostalgia.
She furiously clicked her mouse again, annoyed, ordering her avatar to go to work. Her character, which was created in her likeness, kept shaking her head. With a life of its own, her in-game self apparently had the audacity to refuse. It looked up above at the heavens and shook her fist.
"Ah! My character doesn't listen to me," she lamented to Allie.
"You have to do the recreation things," Allie said. He was sitting at the side of the table with colouring pencils spread in front of him. He was finishing off colouring a picture he did in the library's art club. "You can't force her to do things she doesn't want to do."
"I don't understand." She looked to him with pleading eyes.
Allie let out a moan. “Show me, son.” It was his new catchphrase. He had picked up some funny phrases over his time with Eleanor.
Nola shuffled over with her laptop.
"Your fun points are so low it's hitting double negative digits. Oh boy, you can die from unhappiness in the game." It was true, characters could enter into a spiralling depression that would eventually lead to a premature death.
"How high of a level are you in the occupation?"
"CEO."
"Whoa!" Allie's little eyebrows raised highly. "It takes twenty-four in-game years to grind to that level. Did you just skip out on building the social links?" The avatar's drooping expression said yes. All it cost was her happiness points. Allie didn't know if he had the gaming skills to reverse this. Lauren, the gaming god, might but she has moved out.
"Oh no, Allie. Look, her health bar is dropping by the second. She can't die now. I spent so much time manipulating and stepping on the other characters to max out my career points to become the CEO. The best part of the game is just about to start with all the cash I saved."
Allie got a idea. "What about your save files."
"I only use one save file," Nola said, "Just like real life, you only get one chance."
The avatar clutched its chest, the beginnings of the heart attack animation. Nola and Allie screamed hysterically. Then the doorbell rang.
"Silvie's here!" Allie face was exhilarated with excitement. "I'll get it!"
Nola opened the door with Allie piggyback riding.
"Silvie!"
"Allie!" Their second sister stood with open arms. The sunlight lit her long auburn hair. Below her eyes sat heavy eye bags due to jet lag. Nola and Allie had natural heavy eye bags unlike her.
Silvie hugged Allie through Nola.
Nola showed her the rooms with Allie on her back as they moved across the house.
"You can leave your luggage here. This is your room now. Our roommate just moved out. She's getting married soon. You have to tell me about the engagement with your boyfriend by the way."
Silvie threw down her luggage and threw her face onto the bed. She turned her head to Nola and smiled a sly smile. "Of course." Then she flipped over to face the ceiling, exhausted from her journey from France.
"Bigger than my old room at home. I hate to say it but I think this bungalow is better than our house. What do you think Allie? You like it?" Silvie asked.
"It's okay. I miss my stuff and my piano," he said while still piggybacking off Nola as she stood at the door of the bedroom.
"Ah yeah, he prefers it to the new digital one I got him. The location's really nice. We'll show you around outside later if you have the energy."
They went back to the sitting room where finally Nola dropped him off at the couch.
"I think it's time for some refreshments. Tea or coffee?"
"Orange juice."
"I'll have Tea."
Nola went into the kitchen. She took out some biscuits from the cupboard and then poured some orange juice into a glass. She could hear Allie's energetic chatter from the kitchen about the performance with Eleanor the night at the City Hall Theatre.
Nola came back into the room with the tray of refreshments. Allie laid exhausted on Silvie's lap. She gently stroked his silky, flaxen hair.
Nola looked at her with wide inquisitive eyes. “I’m dying to hear about your engagement. You sent me a picture of your boyfriend proposing to you in your Vienna holiday in front of a palace. How romantic!" she said dreamingly. "Tell me more."
"Alright, this is something I had to say in person." She took a deep breath with a hand holding her chest, "We sat there on the bench, I was sitting all clueless and disappointed. So the night before, he took me to the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in the city. We did everything a perfect date consists, we went through everything.
"We went to a café in a fancy area of Old Town. He told me he had to pre-book seats for the café. He had everything preplanned, literally planned it a year ago as you'll see with the restaurant he booked. Then we saw a romantic movie, it was in German and we couldn't understand a single thing. We went on this walk across this beautiful canal. I have more pictures I didn't send you. Here."
"Wow, it's beautiful," Nola said looking at her phone.
"Here's when we went to this open air museum. There were squirrels all over the little woods. Tim tried to catch one. It was hilarious. He's kind of like you."
Nola chuckled and she swiped Silvie's phone to see them standing beside a peacock. Silive's boyfriend was very tall and handsome. He had a neatly trimmed bread, always gelled up his hair and had a hyperactive look to him. He had a groovy demeanour and was the opposite to her sister whose resting facial expression was a cold, stern look. Opposite attracts, she thought.
"We went to Prater Park and timed it perfectly to see the sunset on the Ferris wheel. I was expecting it then but no. Instead, he told me that he booked a table at Amador. A three star Michelin restaurant. There's a waiting list for a year to get a table there. I was ecstatic about it and the food was fantastic. On level with my restaurant if I say so myself. So he snapped his fingers and called over a string quartet while we ate." Silvie laughed. "So at this moment, I'm fully expecting him to propose."
"Wait, how long have you guys been dating?"
"Three years. I was thinking it was about time as well. So the violinist was playing that violin piece, what was it? You know that really romantic one. Allie?"
Allie was half dozing on her lap, "Meditation from Thais by Massenet." Then he hummed the tune.
"Yes, that one! Then he got on his knees and everybody in the restaurant looked at him. Then he started shaking and I thought no, that absolute klutz. He ruffled through his pants' pockets then his shirt and jacket. He lost the engagement ring. The embarrassment! I covered my face in shame. I think the whole restaurant felt it. We all consecutively froze."
Nola cringed, they all cringed.
"We left the restaurant quietly. I don't even remember the rest." She sighed.
"What happened afterwards?"
She fanned out her fingers. On the ring finger sat a beautiful sapphire ring. "He proposed again the next day in front of Schönbrunn Palace." Nola and Silvie squealed like little girls and flailed their arms. Allie rolled his eyes.
"Bleh-" Allie stuck out his tongue. "Marriage."
"Con-gra-dua-lations!"
"I asked Tim where he found it and he said the restaurant called him when a waiter picked it up. I really doubt it. I saw him sneaking off in the morning. I bet he bought a new one."
Nola laughed. "What a klutz!"
"Look Allie, Is it pretty?"
"Too small. Give me a diamond this big." His hand formed a shape of a large bowl.
"It's not the size of the crystal that matters," she patted her handbag. "But the size of the wallet."
Nola slapped her on the shoulder, her sister had a cynical humour.
"It's the size of the heart, I meant," she corrected herself.
"When's the date?"
"Marriage date? Oh it's next year. By the time you graduated. You better have a boyfriend by that time. I wouldn't want my sister sitting all alone drinking on the happiest day of my life."
"Nola has me." Allie said in a tired, hazy voice.
"Exactly, Allie would be there beside me." She smiled looking at Allie.
The next day, they went around the neighbourhood and did the grocery shopping together. They came back from the supermarket with heavy bags of groceries. Nola did most of the heavy lifting while Silvie wheeled Allie in front. Silvie rolled up her sleeves. The ingredients they procured lay spread out on the countertop. Today she would show them what it means to be the head chef of a three star Michelin restaurant in the heart of Paris.
Nola sat looking at her phone on the kitchen stool. She scrolled though her contacts. She saw the updates from her friends and classmates. Her beta orbiters have flown back to their home countries, sharing happy pictures of themselves, some with girlfriends. The HDips who were graduating were asking for jobs on the group chat. Some were bragging about securing jobs and telling others of job vacancies around their area.
"Look."
"Look," Nola echoed her sister while rolling her eyes. Whenever her sister said look, it automatically invalidated whatever she was going to say. It was going so well.
"I found a doctor."
“In Belarus? Some mountain is it I guess? Where your mystic witch doctor resides,” Nola's eyes rolled back down having found a prepared retort. “Last time we went on that family holiday in Kazakhstan, we got off the bus and then you took us to an underpass where a homeless old Asian hag selling her shitty Chinese medicine, which was baskets of leaves and insect moults,” Nola said, eyes wide, nostrils flaring. “This witch, hag doctor was selling us, I don't know, eucalyptus leaves and cicada skins? That you need to boil it three hours and get Allie to chug a pint of it and he can walk again?!” She and her mother were the same. “Or that other time where that doctor felt his pulse and concluded that his iecur, whatever that is, was upside down and he prescribed some kind of goddamn concoction of celery and fennel stalks in a blender and forced him to drink a damn pint every morning. Remember how he ended in hospital with white boils all over his body. I haven't forgotten any of it.”
"This o-"
“He ended up in the hospital on an IV drip for over a fucking week! He still gets those boils showing up on his skin sometimes!” Nola had trouble containing her emotions. She gazed at her sister in anger. Her sister's back was turned preparing some dish. That's why he stays with me and not you, she thought.
"Anyway, didn't you say you wanted to invite your San Franciscan friend over?" Silvie changed the subject.
They were so frivolous, Nola thought, without any care or thought or responsibility. She could hear Allie's soothing piano playing in the other room and it calmed her down a little.
"I heard a lot about this mysterious person. You've got me interested with all the things you told me. Is it another Eleanor-like person?"
She sat staring blankly at her phone with another anxiety now. She decided to call him. He picked it up within a few seconds.
"Hi."
"Hey."
She gave him the details and he said he'll come over right away.
"Is your San Franciscan friend a boy or a girl?" Silvie looked at her with great interest over the kitchen counter. Nola was smiling now.
"You'll see," Nola said unable to hold a grin.
Within ten minutes, the doorbell rang.
"That was fast! Does he live close?"
"Not really."
"What does he do for a living?"
"He cycles."
"I'll go get the door. Go get dressed. I'm running a fancy diner here, not McDonald's."
"How dare you. Eating McDonald's hamburgers saved his bank account in the US."
Silvie ignored her, not even going for a retort and went to open the front door. She was expecting her friend to be some sort of a hobo. The door swung open and there stood a handsome, upstanding gentleman, Ben the former stalker of Nola. He had one hand ruffling his golden brown hair.
Wow, he's good looking. "Hello!" Silvie's eyes glittered, scanning him top to bottom and bottom to top. She extended her hand out to him. "I'm Silvie."
"Hi, Ben. Nice to meet you." the ruffled good looking youth replied. Nola had texted him to beware of her sister whatever that meant. He had predicted that she would shake his hand so he had his cycling gloves in the large pockets of his khaki cargo pants already. He had anticipated well to not appear awkward. He looked at her hand only to realise his plans were foiled. She was wearing oven mittens yet she expected him to shake it.
He let out a sigh and shook her oven mittened hands. Silvie was mature looking compared to her sister. Her eyes carried a stern and hard expression. They were small while Nola's eyes were large. They looked like they would be the opposite of each other, he thought. He wondered what she was like as he grasped her oven mittened hands.
Ben was thinking this must be some kind of character test. Perhaps with this, she's determined I'm submissive and meek or that I'm an airhead. Ben was thinking of the ongoing psychological warfare while Silvie was simply taken aback by his handsome, youthful looks. She eyed him, finally finding out what her sister's type was.
“I heard so much about the trip but she wouldn't tell me much of her mysterious travel partner.”
So she didn't tell her anything. Maybe she was embarrassed of him.
Silvie leaned uncomfortably close, her chin above his shoulder. "Did you guys bang?"
In a silence that felt like an eternity, Ben thought back to the already answered question that had forcefully persisted in his mind since the trip. He had deduced that it was unlikely that anything happened at the motel after he blacked out drunk following the strip club incident. For one thing, Nola wasn't drunk since she was able to bring him to a motel. If they were both drunk with animal instinct taking over, it would have been a different story. But one of them was not.
"I'm joking," she finally said and patted him on the backside. He was sure that he had fallen victim to her character valuation. She stood back at a distance. "Come in, come in."
Silvie led the way to the kitchen. He had been here a few times but today the kitchen was different. It was very different, like a high class restaurant. The curtains were closed and the room was lit with candles. The dining table itself was covered with a thick, satin, white table cloth. In the middle was a large wrought iron candle holder decorated with floral scented candles.
"Wow."
"Take a seat. Make yourself at home. Nola would be here in a second."
"I'll help out with setting the ehm... table."
"Oh no no, I can't have the guest doing the serving. Take a seat." She walked around the kitchen counter and twisted a knob on the oven. She was also a guest but Ben didn't say it. "Nola tells me you're quite the gourmet."
Ben and Silvie were exchanging deep culinary knowledge on food when Nola entered the room pushing Allie in front. Suddenly the air was silent. She had caught the male gaze. His gaze.
She stopped and bent slightly to fix Allie's collar. She wore a black, low cut dress patterned with large diamond patterns that gleamed from the candle light. In her cold shoulder dress, he could see her powerful shoulders bulged out with the fridge-like body of hers. She brushed back her unnaturally smooth blonde hair as she got up. She was beautiful in a strong menacing way
"Hi," Ben couldn't help but smile.
“Hi Ben,” Allie replied energetically. Noticing he was wearing a t-shirt, he said, “You need to wear a shirt to eat here.” Allie didn’t look much different. He wore slacks and a white dress shirt with a bow tie, the same clothes he wore to his concert at the City Hall Theatre.
“Hmm… I’ll forgive you this time if Nola forgives you.”
“Sorry, my mistake actually,” Nola looked up to him with the usual intensity in her eyes. “I forgot to tell you.” She laughed. She was her usual self but with make-up.
She lifted Allie out of his wheelchair and placed him at the seat at the top of the table. Nola took the seat opposite to Ben.
“My sister works as a head chef in Paris so we have to dress fancy to meet her standards. The restaurant itself is called-” Nola spoke up, “-La Aubergine.”
"It's L'Arpège, my god Nonna."
"Nonna is what they sometimes call me. Old Russian pronunciation. Parents were such dunces when they got here and wrote Nola instead," she explained.
"That's a big change," Ben said. He had accurately assumed that was the case before.
"You'll get used to anything. Especially when you're young." She leaned close to Ben, "Allie and I visited her in Paris once. Can you believe they wouldn't let a child under fifteen in the restaurant? French are such snobs," she whispered the last part so her sister didn't overhear at the kitchen counter. "She's the head chef of the restaurant now after the old guy got carpal tunnel syndrome from his gaming addiction. She's the best chef ever." she said the last part loudly so her sister would hear. "Ah, Allie. Tell Ben about Disneyland."
They chatted cheerfully over the appetizers of bread and olives about their Parisian holiday. It reminded Ben that he still needed to give Nola the holiday photos.
"-And they shot flames out of the castle with the fireworks, you could feel the heat from way over there. The fireworks were so loud. Eleanor covered my ears. She said she didn't me to damage them."
"The first dish has arrived."
"It smells so go-" Before Nola finished her sentence she looked down at the placed in front of her.
"This dish is called La Crème de chou de Bruxelles. You'll be surprised to know that all of the dishes from the three star Michelin restaurants are very simple. The secret is fresh ingredients." She looped around the dining table back to the kitchen to prepare the next set of dishes.
The dish was served in a plate that resembled an artistic dog bowl. A dollop of white creamy cream coloured cream dotted around the plate and in the centre of the plate, was a single Brussels sprout.
Ben, Allie and Nola traded confused glances with each other. They looked back at the plate. It was an aged looking Brussels sprout, meticulously placed in the most eye pleasing angle as possible. There was even a leaf growing out the top of the stud.
"Must be one of my sister's experimental dishes and we're her lab mice."
"I mean it looks... artistic to say the least. Subversive in fact."
"True, true," Allie added.
They forked the Brussels sprout, swirled it around the sauce and put it in their mouths.
"Wow! This is the best Brussels sprout I've ever eaten in my life!" Allie exclaimed.
"Incredible! The Brussels sprout's partially hallowed out. There's a broth injected into the centre. It's like heroin juice spurting out when you bite into it."
"It's good," Nola said with slight hesitation. The heavy drinking has not been kind to her taste buds. The full potential escaped her tongue.
The dishes piled on. Each one topping the next with the last meal containing illegal substance, black caviar. The meal finally finished four hours later with Allie dozing off halfway through eating.
Silvie left the kitchen with shaking legs after doing the work of a seven course meal without her line of chefs. Before she left the room, she gave Ben a pat on the back and they exchanged a glance of mutual understanding, as fellow gourmets. The producer and the consumer; the omega and alpha, and then wobbled to the sitting room to collapse face first into the couch.
They sat alone by themselves with a sleeping child beside them.
“Let me make you something too.” Nola got up and walked over to the kitchen table, hips swaying. She whipped out a bottle of white rum, pre-squeeze lime juice and a small bottle of simple syrup and poured them into a cocktail shaker. She shook it in a tango dance trying to draw a laugh from Ben and he did. She poured it into a martini glass and placed it gingerly in front of him.
"It's a daiquiri, it's really nice. Try it."
Ben tipped the drink to his lips.
"How is it?"
"It's great." Calms the nerves, is what he wanted to say. He had no more doubts with Nola, he was in love with her.
He looked at Allie, dozing on his chair. He was going to ask her out. If anything interrupted him, then so be it.
They sat staring at each other, locked in a mesmerised glance. The candles flickering.
In the end, Ben couldn't bring himself to ask the question he wanted to ask the most. He had never been in a relationship, never started a relationship with anybody, not even a friendship before he had met her.
"Looks like Allie's tired," she said, her eyes flicked over to the sleeping child.
"Yeah, I'm going to leave. It's late." He looked away as well, eyes dejected. "I'll come another day to give you the photos and videos."
"Come tomorrow. We'lI show it to Silvie and Allie together."
Nola led him to the door. He stepped outside and stood in the cold. A full moon stood above him, he turned around. Nola observed him, waiting; waiting for something, anything.
"I think you're beautiful by the way. Will you go out with me?" he said nonchalantly. He had pondered it enough over the weeks and was done with it, with getting nowhere. The scene called for it, he convinced himself.
After a long pause with another eternity passing under the moonlight.
"I can't," she said, "I'm in love with Allie."
"Huh?!" Emptiness washed over Ben. He was not expecting incestuous love if that was what she meant.
"But maybe next year," she paused mischievously, "I might bring you to the wedding."
"HUH?!"
             
AFTERWORD FROM THE AUTHOR
To any readers that lingered to the very end, thx for sticking around and I hope you enjoyed my little novel. I've finished fixing some typos, grammar and badly phrased sentences that I hope didn't annoy you too much when you were reading it. If you like my writing, you can get the definitive edition, a physical copy (It's beautiful btw) on Amazon at amzn.com/B08BDZ2K4V and also on the amazing Amazon stores of you country.
They say that everybody has one novel in them. I can say for myself that I had a manga as well. This is my 2nd work, the first being a manga called 'Imitation World of Synth' and then this novel. I am an author without much imagination and so my stories must draw a lot from my experiences. I will say that nothing in this book is made up but just a twisted account of reality and the people I've met.
Having finished it now, there was a morbid thought that I have ran out of inspiration. In a recent rereading of a certain novel (I leave it to the well-read reader to figure out its origin), there was a quote that spoke my mind. A thought that I had for the longest time since I wrote my first story.
"There must be thousands, and perhaps millions of people like me. People accustomed to death, who feel that the only part of their lives that really mattered is over."
And so there it is with all my worthwhile experiences written. Maybe I can keep pumping out the same types of stories over and over again like a washed-out genre writer. I feel like my strengths lay in the crude humour that you have read throughout the story. The next one, I suppose, will have to be of imagination more purer.
My main project now is to adapt, at least the 1st chapter, of Sweet Nola into manga form. I may possibly be the first writer to adapt their own work into a manga. Updates, unfortunately, will be infrequent but I hope that I'll definitely release a couple of pages every week. My excuse being that drawing is infinity more laborious and slower than writing.
I don't exactly have an approach on the 'vision' of the manga form of Sweet Nola. Novels and manga are different mediums and so my rough idea, if it can even be called that, is not a direct translation from blocks of text into manga strips, but to focus on conveying the visual aspects that manga readers appreciate more. In a way, it also rewards the reader more as a second reading where I don't do a direct translation with all its exposition and be minimalistic in drawing scenes. The manga will probably be rough and dirty so I can output it rapidly.
If you are interested in being a proof reader or editor or collaborator on the manga ver., shoot me a pm and I'll respond as fast as I see your message. If you hated my story, then now is the chance to refine it in a collaborative effort.
The first few pages of Sweet Nola manga can be found at: https://globalcomix.com/c/sweet-nola
Follow me on Twitter for updates as I'll twit whenever I get something uploaded: https://twitter.com/chikinstudio
It's easy to write swiftly but for a manga, it took me 2 days to draw 6 pages that only covered the first two pages of the story. We'll see how it goes...
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2020.09.04 21:17 CSLoserInMidwest My CS Career has been a full-on toxic tragedy and I'm not sure how to get back on the rails. Recruiters have told me my career looks like a "tragedy", mentors have said I don't have talent. Is it time to admit I've had an unlucky try at this career and move on? Feels hopeless. (Warning: Kinda long)

Instead of a bunch of whiney preamble, I'll just jump right in with the timeline: * Genuinely interested in learning to code and working in tech from a young age. Knew I wanted to be in software or tech since about age 12. Me and friends would build computers, set up various Linux distros on them, set up a proxy server from home and connected to it at school using SSH to get past the filters on the school computers, try to hack or spam each others computers using simple scripts, LAN and gaming parties, etc. We were the typical young nerd friend group and proud of it. Set up my school track as such, with advanced math and science courses. Was always a B+, A- student. IQ was tested to be decently high at a young age. INTJ Personality type. Support from parents and family to pursue the career. Everything looks good and points to me to pursue tech as a career, I'm sure that's what I want to do. * Studied HTML/CSS and Basic Java during High School. There were only 2 courses offered, took both of them, enjoyed them thoroughly, did well in them. Wasn't the best most talented programmer in either class, but probably easily in the top 20%. Still thought that things were looking good as far as pursuing the tech career. Narrowed it down that I wanted to be software developer at this point. * Now moving on to college, was accepted to a top 30 CS program at a large state university in 2010 (attended from 2010-2016). Was even accepted into the engineering accolades program (close to Honors and we did activities with them, but instead of extra academic focus, had extra projects and community service opportunities). This is during the recession, and education is a great place to be in. Economy will probably be roaring back right around the time I'm on track to graduate. Wow, this just looks better and better, right? This is where the tragedy starts to begin. * However, within just months of starting the program, I and many of the other students could tell -- This CS program was a COMPLETE JOKE and did not teach the students well at all. Many of the students complained about how ridiculous the program was. They used a fake programming language called RESOLVE C++ for the first 3 core CS courses, teaching all the concepts from that perspective. The idea is that the concepts should apply to any other OOP language. They did not, all the terminology, syntax, and concepts learned we're overly theoretical garbage, and many of them did NOT apply to other OOP languages. All those courses did was cause a ton of confusion and waste of time, the majority of the students agreed and complained to the department. Also, none of the labs were actual cool practical knowledge except for literally one that I can remember. They were all "puzzle problem" labs that you just had to stare at boringly forever to figure out (might as well have been doing LeetCode that whole time, WAY better use of time if you're going to study DS/Algo/Puzzle problems anyway). * So they then switched us over to Java suddenly after 2 years studying that useless language. All the terminology and concepts used in that language were completely useless and made no sense to me or any of the other students that had been fooled, who were now left out to dry in Java land. It was expected that you already had full working knowledge of Java, even though we had spent over a year and a half on that boring useless RESOLVE language. Now I felt hung out to dry because none of the terminology or concepts were easily getting applied to Java, but they started off at full speed. Fine, Java is easy syntactically, and now there are actual online resources I can use to learn it, I'll just study it at home to make up (StockHolm Syndrome begins here). In retrospect, it was definitely here that, for the first time, I was starting to fall behind in programming knowledge compared to where I should be at for my age, MOSTLY due to the HUGE waste of time and confusion from studying that other language. This is a little bit tilting, but I am luckily carried through the CS 250+ Level Classes by genius group mate who did most of the labs for me, or going to tutoring for hints. At this point I realize that I don't really understand all of what's going on and that I haven't been educated well at all at this point, but what am I going to do, stop here? I thought university would help me learn programming, but by this point it's just caused confusion. This is the first time I think I started to think to myself "maybe I should have just done a boot camp..." but bootcamps were new at this time (2011-2012) and not really that vetted yet, university CS degrees were still massively preferred and known about, I was already enrolled and well on my way thru the program, etc. No backing out now. * So let's jump to the end of Sophomore year. I've passed all my CS classes thus far (perhaps mostly thru luck of good group mates, as well as relying on the on-campus tutors for help on lab assignments, or just simply staring at labs for 16-24 hours that would take the more talented students only 8 hours), but still feel that I have learned nothing useful. None of the information is really sticking and I still haven't made any solo projects (nor do I feel I have the skill to at this point, let alone advanced framework knowledge, etc -- I didn't even know what those were at this point in time in 2012-2013). I don't understand how the concepts I've learned apply to the real world at all, and it's NOT all coming together. The programming assignments have been confusing and challenging, but yet I'm not feeling confident AT ALL about my skills or the way my CS program is teaching me. It feels like all I've done is IQ tests and puzzles, and not actually learned to code anything useful. My internship hunt goes poorly for this exact reason -- they ask me practical coding questions in whatever language, and I simply don't know them. All I can do is solve puzzle problems. But SOMEHOW, luckily I do end up getting a few internship interviews, and land an internship. * Internship #1 (Sophomore Internship): This is my first internship, UNPAID. They hired me over the other candidates ONLY because I was willing to come on unpaid. Even though I'm unpaid, I get 9+ hours of work to do per day and am assigned to one of their most pressing and important projects, a ~$6000 eCommerce website. Being swamped with a lot of different tasks for the first time in my life, learning jQuery and early web dev (2012-2013), they refer to me as the "loser" and come stand behind me to watch me work, commenting on my slow progress. There is no mentorship or training. As far as tech stack, I'm doing basic .net, Razor pages and C# stuff, along with jQuery and some Javascript, but it isn't all that widely applicable knowledge (mostly just adding hacks to their CMS that they used). It's all coded by me with no code review or technical guidance, completely just hacked together. But I do make some progress eventually, and get it mostly done. Upon completion of the internship, they offer me only $12 an hour part time. They try to stockholm syndrome me into getting the job by saying "you're not cut out for the corporate world, you won't make it there. We also had a lot of other applicants with crazy technical skills compared to yours. I highly suggest you consider it", trying to talent-guilt me into taking the offer. I decide not to take the offer to focus on classes since the pay is low anyway, and the technical skills being gained there are not that transferrable. * Continuing on to Junior level courses: We do some of our project level courses for the first time. I am COMPLETELY lost now at this point, and have to take the easier tasks on the assignments. I've been switched around from RESOLVE, to Java, to Web-Dev, and now writing a game in C#. Professors begin to notice me struggling and I even have to re-take a class this year (got a 69.8% in a required C- class, everyone fails this class the professor is a known douchebag with a 2 star score on RateMyProf). I also end up receiving some pretty demeaning remarks in the OOP basics class, which was taught like COMPLETE shit, by some of the girls in the class ("He's not that smart for a guy" etc). As soon as one of them felt sorry for me and helped me a little bit, I instantly understood the stuff she was talking about, it was just not being taught well by the professor AT ALL. Then in the game class I also receive a bad grade, but I think this was super unfair because although I did the more tedious tasks, I also added one fairly complex feature and the tedious tasks were very time consuming (I was up all night frequently say 2-3 times a week for at least a few months there). The professor seemed to think I was just dumb and there was no hope since I chose SOME of the easier tasks, hence the bad grade, but in reality I'd say my tasks were actually more difficult than the others for which the code was just as simple but not as lengthy, it felt VERY unfair and I got thrown under the bus. But I CANNOT stop here, I'm a junior almost senior, so StockHolm Syndrome #3 on this fucking degree. * Internship #2 (Junior Internship): This is a paid internship, $13 an hour part time. I'm again doing a basic .net web application and C# stuff, with some basic Javascript and jQuery, and SQL. There is again, no mentorship or guidance over the codebase or any technical guidance whatsoever. It's a "wing it" chop shop. I create a basic web application and desktop application but learn almost nothing here. The code quality was beyond awful and there was no code review, it was just all chopped together by me. They STILL say "wow his progress is kinda slow haha" and other such demeaning comments, even though they didn't have a clue what I was even doing and had no technical knowledge themselves. * Senior year(s) and graduation: More boring BS related to the degree, although this years classes are slightly more relaxed. We do end up doing a decent final project that's a fully responsive web-app, but it doesn't really do anything special and I didn't create the infrastructure for it (a group mate did within week 1 without really talking to anyone about it) so AGAIN, I don't learn much here. I add some very simple code and simple points to our presentations, and that's it. I feel like a total loser and want to contribute a lot more, but can't, it's too late. Whatever, at least I graduate. * Graduated 2016: Apply for jobs for about 2 months here and do light interview prep (still had no idea what I was doing, didn't know about LeetCode and still haven't done personal projects, so I flunk so many interviews). I can already tell recruiters are wary about me and graduates from my program, eliminating me just at the phone screening stage when I don't have in-depth knowledge about Spring, .NET, Javascript flavor of the week, etc. Either that or I'm axed at the automated coding round. I can't even get interviews at places where bootcamp graduates get interviews. So I naturally take the first job I can get, which I got VERY lucky in getting. * Job #1: No training, bad project, horrible code quality, infrastructure issues frequently eating 50-75% of days time, "we don't test code, we just get it right on the first try" mentality, weak management/mentorship, not learning anything, threatened for underperforming/making one mistake, team doesn't like me mostly because I'm too swamped/focused to play politics. 90% of this was out of my control due to bizarre technical issues no one else could solve or had time to solve either, and the other 10% I received no mentorship about how to handle and yet required near management-level influence and decision making (I guess I was expected to go to 4 other teams in the building and give them 24+ hours of work a week just so I can solve my one junior ticket, I legitimately don't know). Can't handle the stress anymore, working weekends to keep up ("hurry up and do nothing" work culture), I crack and end up resigning after just under one year. * Family has basically disowned/just ignoring me for now, due to the decision to leave my "first 'real' job" they are very disappointed in me. Now keep in mind that during college, almost no one ever talked during any of our classes, and all our free time was spent on these stupid overly theoretical pointless confusion labs. So I really didn't make that many friends or even acquaintances during college. So right now, I have no friends or family, or really any support group. Especially none that are in this career field or can provide guidance. So I also have no business network to ask for jobs or connections besides LinkedIn. I'm also out of shape for the first time in my life due to horrible fast-food diet and stress from that year working. Now I'm beginning to feeling the impact of my career troubles on the rest of my life... * Self-Study + Break Period. Try to get things back on track. I tried to take some time off and relax, then study code and apply for jobs. By now I'm a bit older and more keen, know how to game the interview process and study my LeetCodes and framework knowledge. Problem is, I couldn't find any developer jobs to go for, so had to go for one of the dreaded "Production Support" type roles. In my interview I answer one simple SQL question and then a few basic technical questions, get the job. That should have been red flag one for how bad what was to come. * Job #2: TOXIC HELL. Production support role, again C# .NET based. The office gets a 1.5 star rating on Glassdoor. I could go ON about how toxic this place was, but I'll offer some verbatim comments: "The Indians wrote the code, we just play Bolshevik and fit in" and "The office would respect you a lot more if you were taller". I was referred to as a "moron who can't learn" and "he's close but needs just a few more IQ points, unfortunately the line between a useless moron and a genius is thin when it comes to code", when I couldn't understand parts of the codebase that even senior members struggled with. I am fooled that it will be primarily development, instead my job, often over 50% of the day, is to evaluate people's records and see if they should be fired or not. That's right, I was baited and switched on a software developer role -> my actual role is to get people fired from their workplace. Not only that, but there is pure insanity at this office, racism, sexism, you name it. HR was in on the toxicity and was obsessed with hiring only "alpha males" who are white, tall, and loud, the nerdier or smaller guys in the office were constantly bullied and not allowed to talk while the more muscular, taller men were allowed to talk and participate. PURE toxic sociopathic level insanity, I have never seen anything like it in my life. The business people would come stand behind the developers and say things like "what a useless role, all they do is sit here stare and say nothing. we can't wait to PIP them" and things like that. I was literally clicking and typing at max speed (solving small repetitive tickets) one time while they came by and did this, probably had like 160 APM on the screen, typing loudly, and they are like "wow what a useless team". Only one guy ever noticed how hard I worked every day and he was like "wow you're typing pretty fast on there! keep it up!". That was it, one time. I left as soon as I reasonably could. * Self-Study period #2 + Underemployment + Huge resume gap: Now it's been about a year and a half since leaving. I've been studying .NET Core, Java Spring, Angular, and React, along with LeetCode, and general interview questions. Fully gaming the interview process. However, there are simply no good developer roles in seemingly my entire state to apply to. Those that are there, are for 6+ years experience and I will get laughed out at the phone stage by recruiters, who said my resume looks like a "tragedy" and that "it's not fair that bootcampers beat you to these jobs, but they have, I'm sorry" * COVID Recession came at the worst time: Pretty much enough said. I was already on an increasingly long gap, and now the COVID recession has hit. There are plenty of labor jobs in my city, but almost no programming jobs left at junior level. I'm increasing my geographic radius, but still not finding much.
**TL;DR:** Both my education and all 4 jobs so far have been an ongoing series of unlucky snags and huge timesinks while not being effective at increasing my programming knowledge or practical skill, giving me a network, or doing really anything to facilitate a healthy long-term career. All they did was increase confusion and stress, and soak time away from studying useful things that would make me competitive to get a job. I finally realized that all that horseshit I did in university was mostly a waste of time (sans literally maybe 3 classes), and that I needed to self-study, but the problem is that came at age 28, and even now after over a year of self-study I still feel that I'm still behind a reasonably talented (or well-educated) college sophomore. First 2 full time jobs were absolute nightmares and made me worse technically if anything. I look like a flight risk with 2 sizable underemployment gaps, a huge deterrent to recruiters and hiring managers. All 4 jobs I've had have all been toxic torture chambers where I was told "you're just not good enough" and even bullied for issues that were out of my control. There are hardly any jobs left at the entry or junior level in my entire geographic region due to COVID, and the underemployment gap on my resume is only getting worse, currently at 1.5 years. All of this ongoing failure has made family wary of me, and friends are long gone. I'm even out of shape from spending so much time at desks, and visually getting older now due to all the stress, dating pool getting smaller.
All for naught, I'm still poor. Is it time to admit I've wasted a large chunk of my last 10 years, just be a manufacturing or warehouse laborer like everyone else in my city, and forget it? My 20's already feel down the drain due to career failure.
submitted by CSLoserInMidwest to careerguidance [link] [comments]


2020.08.21 11:57 maximillionx62 Littermate syndrome

I need help with my 2 dogs. They’re a little over a year now. Male and female chihuahua mixes and are very loveable. They tolerate other dogs well and other humans but show signs of littermate syndrome. The girl is alpha and male it’s beta, they constantly “hump” and play fight. When the girl gets overwhelmed and backs away from another dog the male will jump in and defend her. I love my dogs and they’re otherwise well behaved minus problems with potty training and being hyper. Any advice on how to help alleviate this?
submitted by maximillionx62 to AskVet [link] [comments]


2020.08.01 06:54 leannamaisl Male Heads Bodies - A Female Perspective (more like infuriating frustrating rage)

Hi hi everyone,
Just posting this here because I just had a traumatic experience.
I decided to help a male friend with his shape.
I usually do a pretty good job and get a lot of compliments with my shapes for various female bodies. I have even helped men adjust things by giving them little pointers here and there. So I like to think that I think I know a little bit about what I am doing.
Needless to say things were not going well.
So, being the know it all that I am I decided to get the demos he had for shape and head and do it myself. (not naming names of the various makers and designers to save the shame)
First off, men, I am soooooooo sorry.
I know some of the female mesh heads are not the best for customization or sizing, but OMG how bad are the men's heads? Almost all the ones I tried are so disproportionate at anything with bodies that are a bit larger than the median size. Getting out of the realm of a body of like size 70 makes almost any head look like they have shrunken head syndrome.
And the bodies are even worse. Shapes and adjustments seem to be tossed out at anything that even begins to move the sliders, let alone test their limits.
The time trying to adjust things just devolved into a never ending battle against shrunken heads, shouldebicep tumors, armpit gaps, and chicken legs.
But the good news for men is, alpha clothes to save the day... hooray.
Lets just erase the bodies and add clothing to hide the problem, while making our stiff and oddly size shapes over the top of them. Because why would you ever want clothing that properly moves or works "with" a body that it is worn on top off.
Ugh.
Why even bother having a body if you are just gonna alpha it away.
The friend I was helping actually said, "they make mesh clothing for women without alphas?"
I know designers complain about rigging for multiple female bodies but honestly, how much more credit do I give them now can not be understated.
Do men's head and body creators even work together on things? This seems like they go all 'cave man' and hide their work instead of collaborate.
I am not a creator. I just work with what others do and make some pretty pictures that I get lucky to catch in moments along the way.
Men, and women; we should hope for more for male heads and bodies.
Please if there are some amazing bodies or heads that I am missing for men, that will actually continue to be supported, work with BOM and have decent mesh clothing please let me know. They can take my lindens, and recommendations to others I sadly, cause I am a glutton for punishment, will help in the future.
Rant over, and thanks for reading if you survived to the end. I unleash the Reddit and SL comments on me and pray for the best.
leannamaisl
submitted by leannamaisl to secondlife [link] [comments]


2020.07.30 03:41 OkamaGoddessFan943 Deep Sea Fluffy Guide/Article

Deep sea fluffies are an aquatic subspecies of fluffy ponies, related to sea fluffies, their shallow water counterparts. They're known for their unusual physiology and behavior, showing that they're not just simply designed to love and play, but survive as well. According to Hasbio, the biotech division of Hasbro, which created fluffy ponies, deep sea fluffies are the result of "unplanned, wayward and erroneous mutations".
Physiology and anatomy
Deep sea fluffies are similar to their shallow water relatives, having gills and flippers, except they have better adaptation for survival. They have no lungs, swim bladders or any gas-filled spaces in their bodies, otherwise they'd be crushed by the extreme pressure of the deep sea. They come in various types, resembling various fish and other creatures from their habitat, a major example being anglerfish-type deep sea fluffies.
Due to the phenomenon known as deep-sea gigantism - which may be caused by colder temperature, food scarcity and reduced predation pressure - deep sea fluffies are much larger than other subspecies, being around the size of a large dog, such as a German Shepherd or a Tibetan Mastiff (excluding deep sea microfluffs: floaters, scavengers and sea-floor fluffies). Because the deep sea is also very dark, with little to no sunlight penetration, these creatures' fluff often comes in dull colors. There are exceptions to that, of course, such as deepsea lizardfish-type foals, who are born with pink fluff, though their fur fades into grey as they mature. To survive with the deep sea's harsh conditions, deep sea fluffies are physically strong, having good muscle strength and skeletal density. Due to food scarcity in great depths, they evolved powerful jaws with sharp teeth, having a deadly bite force of 2,500 pounds per square inch, similar to that of an American alligator. They also have extremely sensitive eyes adapted to the dark, giving them more reason to move upwards at night only.
Diet
Deep sea fluffies are predatory, opportunistic carnivores, eating any animal that's smaller than them. They tend to eat fish, eels, crustaceans, shallow sea fluffies and mollusks. While land fluffies love pasta and shallow sea fluffies adore seaweed, deep sea fluffies have a penchant for shark meat. However, they hunt smaller sharks and other similar animals, as they're prey to bigger ones. Any meat from cartilaginous fish will do. To hunt and find food, they often go to shallower waters at night. Deep sea fluffies, while predators, are also prey, usually to animals who are bigger than them, such as octopi, Japanese spider crabs, sharks, orcas, giant squids and sperm whales (though their main predators are the last two). Surprisingly, at times, deep sea fluffies will try - and sometimes be successful at it - to hunt bigger animals. Meanwhile, they also like to eat animal carcasses (or what's left of them).
Behavior
Deep sea fluffies present rather unique behavior amidst the other breeds, races and subspecies. As a product of the environment they live in, they're more intelligent and have a rather mature vision of the world, thus being the only fluffies who are aware the world isn't all "love and huggies", even when they sometimes wish for it and still have childish minds. They also don't trust humans very easily, often seeing them as either prey or predators. Either way, feeling threatened or not, they become aggressive and attack. According to CNET, deep sea fluffy attacks result in over 3,000 deaths per year.
It is hard for a human to gain a deep sea fluffy's trust, and rare for them to call people anything other than "hoomins". The other terms also have slightly different meanings:"Nice mistah/wady" - A rescuer, whether from a sanctuary or not, who has helped them before."Nyu mummah/daddeh" - A caregiver from a sanctuary who spends a lot of time with them."Munstah mummah/daddeh" - Someone who tried to keep them as a pet or in an aquarium with no means to help them or to release them back in the wild.
Because of their larger size and different behavior, Hasbio declared it is impossible to keep deep sea fluffies as pets. They'll become aggressive and depressed while being kept in tanks or pools (if not in a sanctuary), reaching the "wan die" loop. The only way to heal them psychologically is to release them at either a sanctuary or back in the wild.
As a result of living in such a dangerous environment, deep sea fluffies are desensitized to the dark side of nature and they're not scared as easily as their other relatives. And as they're usually solitary hunters because, even when life is abundant in the deep sea, it's very sparse compared to shallower waters, smarty syndrome is less common in them (with some exceptions. Anglerfish-type stallions are almost always smarties).
As they don't have much contact with humans but do have some contact with their culture, deep sea fluffies tend to name their young themselves. The names are usually something related to water. Some common examples are Athena, Poseidon, Neptune, Moana, Aqua, Kai and Mariana.
Sex and reproduction
Deep sea fluffies are always male or female. However, even when that's the case, some of them, like the deepsea lizardfish-type, are hermaphrodites, even when the rest of the body is "male" or "female". Anglerfish-types have a really unique way to reproduce, like the fish they're based in: Males are almost always lustful smarties, despite being much smaller than their mates. As they attempt to reproduce with a female, they bite and hump the mare's skin. A while later, they "melt" and disintegrate, fusing with the mare's body, becoming nothing more than sperm storage. Female anglerfish-types can have up to six mates or more.
It's rare for deep sea fluffies to mate more than once in their lives. Being oviparous, mares, along with their mates, will find a safe place to lay eggs, either around corals or caves. The average number of eggs they lay is around five to seven. The mare will guard the eggs, while the stallion will look for food to feed his mate. The embryonic development of the eggs' fetuses often last three weeks to one month.
Newborn deep sea fluffies ("chiwpy babbehs"), like other fluffies, are born with their eyes closed and communicate by chirping instead of talking. However, the chirping is similar to that of a baby crocodile or a baby alligator, rather than that of a hamster or a bird. Even when they're fragile, they can slightly swim, and as deep sea fluffies aren't mammals, they already have the instinct to kill and eat. Instead of drinking milk, they eat small fish, crustaceans and zooplankton, because they are born with a set of small, sharp teeth. At this stage of life, the stallion leaves the mare, while the latter cares for her babies. Only around 50% of deep sea fluffy foals make it to adulthood.
Five weeks after birth, and the foals are on their second stage of life. They're very energetic, know how to swim much better than before, and are beginning to speak. That's the life stage where their mothers teach their young how to survive in the deep sea. Becoming instinctually prepared, the babies are then abandoned to survive on their own, getting their independence. Some may fall as food to predators, while some may be lucky and have the opportunity to live a long life. Deep sea fluffy foals then spend their childhood and adolescence moving their way up in the food chain.
A year after birth, and the deep sea fluffies are fully grown and sexually mature. The average life expectancy for a specimen is around fifteen years, though the oldest deep sea fluffy known, Bluey/Bluie, a female viperfish-type, is currently 21 years old.
Communication
Like other fluffies, deep sea fluffies speak with a childish lisp, causing them to pronounce letters such as R and L as W instead. They also have a similar vocabulary, though there are differences.
Awmost mummah/Soon mummah - A mare who has laid eggs and is waiting for them to hatch.
Anehmaws - Animals. Used to address marine creatures.
Babbeh - Foal.
Bad Babbeh - Usually a deformed, crippled or mentally impaired foal who may die prematurely or grow vulnerable, but this term can also apply to badly-behaved orclingy ones.
Bad Huggies/Bad Speciaw Huggies – Rape/Non-consensual sex.
Bad Upsies - Any forced and quick ascension from the deep sea (such as being fished), resulting in tissue damage and barotrauma.
Bestest Babbeh - A foal who seems to be more instinctually prepared from other ones in a family (such as they knowing how to hunt and fight before their siblings).
Big Cwackies - A foal hatching from an egg.
Big Tentacwe Munstah - Giant/Colossal squids and octopi.
Big Whawesie - Whale. Often used to address the sperm whale.
Big Owwies/Huwties/Ouchies, Wowstest Owwies/Huwties/Ouchies, Biggest Owwies/Huwties/Ouchies - Severe injury.
Bad Wight/Wite/Bwight/Bwite - Anything that's too bright for a deep sea fluffy, as they have sensitive eyes adapted to the dark.
Bitsies - Biting/To bite.
Boo Boo Juice – Blood.
Bwite Time - Day time.
Bwudda - Brother.
Catch an' Num - Hunt.
Cawty Meaty/Meatie - Meat from cartilaginous fish (sharks, rays, chimaeras, sawfish, etc), a deep sea fluffy's favorite food (they prefer shark meat, though).
Chiwpy Babbeh - A newborn foal that chirps like a baby crocodile or alligator.
Cowaws - Corals.
Cowd Wawa/Cowdie Wawa - Cold water, either from great depths or around the Earth's poles.
Cwabby - Any crustacean.
Daddeh - Daddy. Almost always refers to the sire. In very rare cases, it can also refer to a male human caregiverescuer (in a sanctuary or not).
Dawk Time - Night time.
Dawk Time Sky Baww - The moon.
Dawkies - Darkness.
Deepsies - The deep sea.
Deepsie Wawa - Deep water.
Deepsie Wawa Fwuffy - The way deep sea fluffies address their own kind.
Dummeh - Dumb/weak.
Dummeh Babbeh - Another term for Bad Babbeh.
Dummeh Hoomin - A person being addressed by a deep sea fluffy whenever it feels threatened or wants to eat.
Eggie - Egg.
Eggie Babbehs - Fetal foals, still developing in eggs.
"Enf!" – The grunting sound a stallion makes repeatedly when he is having sex.
Famiwy - Family.
Finsies - Fins.
Fishies - Fish.
Fowebah Sweepies - Death.
Fwend - Friend or ally.
Fwuffy - Can be any fluffy pony, but not itself.
Good Babbeh - Healthy, well-behaved and self-sufficient foal.
Good Feews - Sexual pleasure.
Gwassies - Algae/Seaweed.
Gwass Sowwy Boxie - A tank. No matter how big a tank can be, a deep sea fluffy will always show signs of psychological distress.
Heawt Huwties - Sadness or emotional pain.
Hewp - Help.
Hoomin - Human.
Hot - Whenever a deep sea fluffy feels hot. Used mostly for complaining about how warm the shallow sea is while hunting.
Huggies - Hugs.
Huwties - Hurt, any kind of pain.
Mawe - Mare.
Mawy Twenchie - Marianas Trench.
Meanie - Mainly for addressing people who capture them for anything that isn't rescuing. Rarely used.
Mistah - Mister. A polite way for deep sea fluffies to address male caregivers in a sanctuary or rescuers. Also rarely used.
Mummah - Mommy. In very rare cases, it can also refer to a female human caregiverescuer (in a sanctuary or not).
Munstah - Monster, any big and dangerous creature.
Bwack Whawesie Munstah - Orca.
Cwabby Munstah - A big crustacean, such as a giant isopod or a Japanese spider crab.
Fwat Munstah - Ray.
Guwpy Munstah - Eel. Can also be used to address black swallowers or any creatures with an expandable stomach.
Jewwy Munstah/Bouncy Munstah/Sea Jewwy Munstah - Jellyfish or siphonophore.
Shawkie Munstah - A big shark.
Smiwey Munstah - Jellenheimer.
Stingy/Shockie Munstah - Stingray, jellyfish or siphonophores.
Tentacwe Munstah - A big squid/octopus.
Wowmie Munstah - Tube worm.
Whawesie Munstah - A big whale.
Munstah Daddeh/Munstah Mummah - Someone who tries to keep a deep sea fluffy as a pet/for entertainment.
No-nos/Speshuw Pwace - Genitals.
Nu - No.
Num/Nummies - Food.
Nyu - New.
Octi - Octopus.
Otay - Okay.
Owwies/Ouchies - Any injury or pain.
Pee-Pees - Urine, sometimes also penis.
Poopie Pwace - Anus.
Poopies - Feces.
Pwetty Wight/Wite/Bwight/Bwite - Bioluminescence.
Saddies - Sadness.
Safe Pwace - Used by mothers to address the place they laid eggs in. It can also be used to address a sanctuary.
Sea Cookehs - Sand dollars.
Sea Gwassies - Algae/Seaweed.
Sea Jewwy - Jellyfish. It can also refer to siphonophores.
Sea Stawsies - Starfish.
See-Thingies/See-Pwaces/Peepews/Eyesies - Eyes.
Shawkie - Shark.
Shawwow Wawa - Shallow water.
Shawwow Wawa Fwuffy - A shallow sea fluffy. Can also be used to address freshwater aquatic fluffies.
Shawp Owwies/Ouchies/Huwties - Pain from sharp objects.
Sissy/Sissie/Sistah - Sister.
Siwwy - Silly.
Sky Baww - Sun.
Sky Fwuffies/Puffies - Clouds.
Sky Wawa - Rain.
Smawty - Rarely used, and for deep sea fluffies, it's more like an arrogant, egocentric fluffy, rather than an alpha male/female.
Sowwy Box - A tank or pool.
Sowwy Bitsies - Biting the target as a form of punishment, revenge or intimidation.
Speshuw Fwend - Mate.
Speshuw Huggies - Sex.
Spongey/Spongie - Sponge.
Sweep/Sweepies - Sleep.
Teef/Teefies - Teeth.
Twenchies - Trench.
Upsies - The habit of deep sea fluffies going to shallower waters at night to hunt.
Wady - Lady. A polite way for deep sea fluffies to address female caregivers in a sanctuary or rescuers. Rarely used.
Wastest Babbeh - Last surviving foal of a litter.
Wawa - Water.
Wawmsies - A deep sea fluffy feeling warm, though they feel like that at a temperature near 0°C/32°F.
Wittwe/Widdwe/Widdow - Little.
Wub/Wuv - Love.
Yus/Yes - Yes.
Distribution and Habitat
Deep sea fluffies can be found all over the world's oceans (except the Arctic and Antarctic ones) at the aphotic zone. The oceanic layer where they live the most is the bathypelagic (midnight) zone, though some of them can be found at the abyssopelagic zone, and there are even species that live in trenches (The Mariana Snailfish-type is the deepest-living sea fluffy known, living at the bottom of the Marianas Trench). The vast majority of deep sea fluffies prefer waters in which the temperature is between 4 and 2°C (39,2 and 35,6°F).
submitted by OkamaGoddessFan943 to fluffycommunity [link] [comments]


2020.07.20 18:12 savanna20Jul Real Home-made Gra-nny Por-n

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https://preview.redd.it/aow3qw55e1c51.jpg?width=197&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9c1410cd5d87623645760269febea9e6fcff8ef
submitted by savanna20Jul to Dino_Blue [link] [comments]


2020.07.07 06:32 homericseptiembredes I feel like a stray dog

Like in the Eminem' s song, let me share my story with you. Somehow this is a group therapy. I feel so sorry for my mom. I saw someone s post saying that people who were abused by narcissistic people, regardless of the relationship kind, cannot feel pity or sorry for them. But the root of the problem is not my romantic partners, I see them as my symptoms that resulted from upbringing. So, I feel sometimes sorry for them. I must admit that I am angry at them. The most important thing, which I did not deserve what they did, but Obviously I could not protect myself emotionally.
I realised that I repeated every pattern, always putting her feelings first, in my romantic relationships. Actually it affected every relationship I had, even with myself. There were times that I called her everyday, that I sensed even the smallest low mood she felt. Once that happened, I put emergency button and tried everthing to cheer her up. She is a rescuer and sacrifice herself in every situation then become victim of whatever happens. I see she has been struggling, even now tears coming, but I cannot prevent what her decisions brought to her. When I try to introspect, I see I became her from the day I sensed feelings around me. I feel inferior everytime, as if I am a lion but acting like a mouse. I have a career and am one of the most successful ones in the familiy. However I feel unconfident about everything, it results in having difficulty in making decisions. I became a person who has passed his potential because nobody was there for me. Imposter syndrome...There was no witness. So if there is no witness, not being acknowledged or I could not feel it, would I be considered survivor?
I see I am in need of external validation. But the inner and external critics, with the great contributions of my father, does prolonge my struggles. Recently I started to call my mom less and I recognise everytime she calls she kinda makes me feel guilty and ashamed of myself. There is no reason for those feelings around us. I really enjoy living alone but for the last 6 months I feel so tired that I need a nap during the day whenever I spoke with people. This is just getting more present. The number of people I contact made me tired is decreasing. I just do not want to speak. Unfortunately naps make me angry, kinda moddy when I wake up. Maybe it is related with being forced to sleep when I was little. There is no positive point of view in people around me.
I feel I am such a warrior of positivity and unfortunately everybody expects me to make them feel less unhappy. I feel guilty if I do not make them feel ok. There is some kind of unwritten rule I am binded, but nobody is responsible, only me. I always contribute to everything I do, relationships, my job... I feel so lonely and tired after reading pete walker s book. I have not lived but I am adult. I always chose people who are not emotionally available, then I repeat the patterns I have gone through. This is the only thing I succeded so far emotionally. The irony! I pick every vampire to rescue them. But I cannot. This feeling that I could be white knight fantasy is so pathetic.
This is a loaded topic however my point is on how my personality has been expressed.there is no need to be alpha male in this sad world. I think being alpha only teachs some strategies to be more assertive, this is my understanding from the pete s book. If I have fawn or flight strategies, coaching with anything forcing to create healthy boundaries is beneficial. But I was my family' s emotion dumpster. One made feel less of a child and rejected, and the other used me for emotion regulation. There is no point in this pathological system.
Even primates teach their offsprings life skills until they reach a certain age. I learnt everything on my own. I lived in a foreign country for a period. I was always alone and nobody asked how I did or how I was. I did not feel that they worry for me really.
I am in great denial of everyhing I missed because otherwise I have to grieve. Everytime I am about to travel I feel nostalgic. These are some symptoms I have experienced and I wanted to share with strangers, in my second language. This is the sole opportunity I have right now. I feel I am blind because The only aspect of people I see is positive ones. This is blindness , the fact that ignoring that people could be bad, abusive. I really need to ignore that, otherwise I feel unsafe. Never felt safe, never felt I do have somewhere my own. Like where is home? I look at the sea for a long time and just emptiness invading every part of me. Not being able to love is kinda blindness that I find similar to Saramgo' s definition in his novel. It is dangerously contagious.
I do have a huge heart but I was the one who made promises myself that I would not be somebody like my father. Unfortunately I am. I inherited his critic as my external voice that I break people' s heart in a second in an unrelated topic. I am my mother' s voice as my inner voice, religiously blaming or shaming myself. I am so sorry for everything. I do not blame anyone. But this is not life, which is full of misery.
I betray myself everytime my critics take the wheel. But it is so hard to prevent it. As if this is the destiny I am obliged to conform. There are other people neglected my existance and I felt I was not there in that house near them. I am nobody until somebody needs someone. I betray myself everytime I am involved with people' s stupid views. I am more than enoug but I feel that nobody supports me. They just throw stones on my way. I feel lonely so much that I create my own reality in which I believe everybody without questioning their motivations. This is the first thing I do in every relationship. I believe people would love or validate me if I do not question them, mainly their motivations. I am just a person full of wishfull thinking. I am "the giving tree". Still do not blame anyone.
I am full of love and I want to keep it. I object living in your distorted world, which is full of labels, negative stereotypes and shame. I wanna be able to protect my love and do not want to feel lost, remorseful or angry. I do my best for everything regardless of situation. Yeah this is how much I lack boundaries. This is just so sad and I feel taken advantage of. Feeling unappreciated fills my days. But I "keep on keeping on". I started my writing with somebody else's feelings and their world. There is no me before anyone. This is so tiring but I still try to please people. This is how naive I am. Whenever I cook I told my family unconsciously to prove that Iam independent or I can cook, but then I realised that this is another way of getting validation. I stopped but there are so many things I cannot discriminate from seeking validation. It is not worth having external validation. It only makes your critics more powerfull and supports their unwarranted claims about how much usefullness is needed to be accepted as a human being. Never felt accepted unconditionally. People implement their agenda on me without hesitation as if they know at first sight how sucker I am. This is hell. Being a chimpanzee is much more different. Probably it is the best. When you are a chimpanzee, you either get nourished and nurtured or you get killed without experiencing human stupidity, abuse at least shorter than ours. Maybe they are living in the heaven. I appreciate everything I have, I feel and opportunities I have. But nobody should judge the other. There should not be any comparison. Everybody deserves a judgement on his own conditions.
submitted by homericseptiembredes to Codependency [link] [comments]


2020.07.06 12:39 PradoMV96 A thorough DD on $LPCN (Lipocine Inc)

What is $LPCN? * Lipocine is a clinical-stage biopharmaceutical company focused on metabolic and endocrine disorders. * They improve compliance, absorption, and more with their proprietary drug delivery technologies
What is their main pipeline? * Their main pipeline/asset is: * TLANDO
What are their other pipelines? * Other than the main pipeline, TLANDO, they have 4 other pipelines in the works * LPCN1144 * TLANDO XR (LCPN1111) * LPCN1148 * LPCN1107
What is TLANDO? * It is an oral testosterone replacement therapy product containing Testosterone Undecanoate that is designed to help restore normal testosterone levels in males for conditions associated with a deficiency or absence of endogenous testosterone. * It is meant to treat Hypogonadism * TLANDO is designed to overcome many of the issues related to TRT products on the U.S. market. * TLANDO is being studied for both Primary and Secondary hypogonadism and is targeting the established chronic US TRT market.
What is Hypogonadism? * Hypogonadism typically refers to a permanent deficiency of sex hormones rather than a temporary deficiency that may be related to acute/chronic illnesses or other medical, personal, or environmental factors. * Primary hypogonadism describes disease states that intrinsically affect the gonads. Examples of these include the genetic disorders, Turner syndrome and Kleinfelter syndrome * Secondary hypogonadism refers to disease states that affect gonadal-related structures such as the hypothalamus and pituitary gland that directly impact the development of gonads and as such the release of testosterone and other sexual hormones * Hypogonadism affects upto 20million men * Close to 6million are diagnosed & only 2 million are being treated
TLANDO Market Opportunity * Since 2015, the TRT TRx yearly market has been growing exponentially with 2019 having the highest annual TRT TRx at 7.73million * TLANDO has the potential to be a TRT Market leader as it has a $2B+ opportunity in an established and growing market with favorable market dynamics.
What is LPCN-1144? * LPCN 1144, an oral prodrug of bioidentical testosterone * is being developed as a treatment for pre-cirrhotic non-alcoholic steatohepatitis ("NASH") and is currently being studied in a Phase 2 paired biopsy NASH confirmed clinical study * Liver imaging results from the Phase 2 clinical study are expected mid-2020 with biopsy results expected in the fourth quarter of 2020/ first quarter of 2021.
What is TLANDO XR? * It is a next-generation, novel ester prodrug of testosterone which uses the patent protected Lip'ral technology to enhance solubility and improve systemic absorption. * The Phase 2b clinical trial was a randomized, open label, two-period, multi-dose PK study. Results suggested that the primary objectives were met, including identifying the dose expected to be tested in the planned Phase 3 study. * the target Phase 3 dose met primary and secondary end points. TLANDO XR was well tolerated with no drug-related severe or serious adverse events reported in the Phase 2b study
LPCN-1148 * It is an oral prodrug of a Bioidentical testosterone being developed for the treatment of NASH Cirrhosis. * NASH Cirrhosis is an end-stage non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) for which there is no FDA approved drug treatment. * approximately 1.3M NASH patients had cirrhosis (fibrosis grade 4). NASH cirrhosis patients typically experience increased morbidity and symptoms of hypogonadism such as alteration of hair distribution, anemia, sexual dysfunction, testicular atrophy, muscle wasting, fatigue, osteoporosis, and gynecomastia. * Their team is currently formulating plans to conduct a proof-of-concept study in male cirrhotic NASH subjects through consultations with the FDA and key opinion leaders to evaluate the therapeutic potential of LPCN 1148 for the treatment in cirrhotic NASH subjects
LPCN-1107 * LPCN 1107 is an oral product candidate of 17-alpha-hydroxyprogesterone caproate (HPC) under development for the indication of prevention of recurrent preterm birth. * has the potential to become the first oral HPC product for the prevention of preterm birth in women with a prior history of at least one preterm birth * Potential benefits of their oral product candidate relative to current injectable products include the elimination of pain and site reactions associated with weekly injections, elimination of weekly doctor visits or visits from the nurse, and elimination of interference/disruption of personal, family or professional activities associated with weekly visits.
Lipocine Technology * Their proprietary Technology is Lip'ral: * Lip'ral is a patented technology based on lipidic compositions which form an optimal dispersed phase in the gastrointestinal environment for improved absorption of the insoluble drug * Lip'ral presents insoluble drugs efficiently to the intestinal absorption site, thus bringing the absorption process under formulation control and making the product robust to physiological variables such as dilution, pH and food effects * Link
Recent Q1 Financials/Business Highlights * Lipocine reported a net loss of $5.8 million, or ($0.14) per diluted share, for the quarter ended March 31, 2020 * Research and development expenses were $2.5 million for the quarter ended March 31, 2020, compared with $1.9 million for the quarter ended March 31, 2019 * As of March 31, 2020, Lipocine had $15.6 million of unrestricted cash, cash equivalents and marketable investment securities compared to $14.1 million at December 31, 2019 * The Company had $5.0 million of restricted cash, which is required to be maintained as cash collateral under the SVB Loan and Security Agreement until TLANDO is approved by the FDA. * The Company believes that its existing capital resources will be sufficient to meet its projected operating requirements through at least February 15, 2021 * The FDA acknowledged receipt of resubmission and established August 28, 2020 as the target PDUFA goal date for TLANDO * Received FDA clearance on Investigational New Drug ("IND") application for Phase 2 clinical study with LPCN 1148 * Raised $6.0 million in gross proceeds in a registered direct offering of common stock and warrants in February 2020. * PR Newswire
Risks/Negatives of the business * As shown on their recent 10-K/10-Q SEC Filings: * "We depend primarily on the success of our lead product candidate, TLANDO, for which we recently received a Complete Response Letter from the FDA and which may not receive regulatory approval or be successfully commercialized." * "If T-replacement therapies are found, or are perceived, to create health risks, our ability to sell TLANDO and TLANDO XR (LPCN 1111) could be materially adversely affected and our business could be harmed" * "We face substantial competition in the TRT market, which may result in others discovering, developing or commercializing products before or more successfully than we do" * "The entrance of generic T-gels into the market would likely create downward pricing pressure on all T-replacement therapies and therefore have a negative effect on our business and financial results." * "All of our clinical candidates will be subject to extensive regulation which can be costly and time consuming, cause delays or prevent approval of the products for commercialization" * "The successful commercialization of our product candidates and ability to generate significant revenue will depend on achieving market acceptance." * "Our future success depends on our ability to retain our chief executive officer and other key executives and to attract, retain and motivate qualified personnel" * 10-Q * 10-K
Events to positively impact Q1-Q4 of 2020 * On Feb 11th 2020, $LPCN Announced that it continues to vigorously defend its patent rights and maintains its allegations for patent infringement of four U.S. patents – U.S. patent nos. 9,034,858; 9,205,057; 9,480,690; and 9,757,390 – by Clarus's JATENZO product, which has yet to launch. * On Feb 24th 2020, $LPCN Announced the results of its Post Action meeting with the FDA regarding its New Drug Application for TLANDO. * Based on the Post Action meeting and written feedback, the FDA indicated Lipocine's approach to addressing the single remaining deficiency through the reanalysis of existing data in accordance with FDA feedback appears to be a reasonable path forward. The FDA requested that the information generated by the reanalysis be submitted as part of an NDA resubmission with a six-month Prescription Drug User Fee Act * On Feb 27th 2020, $LPCN Announced the closing of a registered direct offering of 10,084,034 Class A Units, each consisting of one share of its common stock and one half of a common warrant to purchase one share of its common stock, at a price of $0.595 per Class A Unit, for total gross proceeds to the Company of approximately $6 million * On March 4th 2020, $LPCN Announced that the FDA has assigned a Prescription Drug User Fee Act ("PDUFA") goal date of August 28, 2020. * On April 9th 2020, $LPCN Announced that the Patent Trial and Appeal Board ("PTAB") of the United States Patent and Trademark Office has entered adverse judgment against Clarus. * As stated by $LPCN's CEO: "We are extremely pleased with the Federal Circuits's affirmation of the judgement of the PTAB canceling all the claims of the Clarus '428 Patent. This decision further validates the strength of Lipocine's patent portfolio" * On April 17th 2020, $LPCN Announced that the FDA denied the Citizen Petition filed by Clarus Therapeutics Inc. ("Clarus") on October 2, 2019. * Specifically, the FDA declined to issue product-specific guidance on oral T-ester drug products and denied without comment Clarus' request regarding how the FDA should review and make approval decisions on any pending or future oral T-ester products. * On May 5th 2020, $LPCN Announced that the FDA has accepted the Company's Investigational New Drug application ("IND") to initiate a Phase 2 proof-of-concept study to evaluate the therapeutic potential of LPCN 1148. * On May 13th 2020, $LPCN Announced positive results of a pre-clinical study of LPCN 1144.
Very important upcoming dates * TLANDO: PDUFA date is set to be on August 28 2020 * LPCN-1144: LiFT Primary Endpoint Results is set to be on Q4 of 2020 * 2nd Quarter financials/Business Highlights are on August 5th 2020
Very important documents I suggest you read over as well as everything I have written * Corporate Presentation * 10-Q * 10-K * LCPN-1148 Presentation * LPCN-1144
Target Price/Forecasts * CNN money has set the TP at $3 with an analyst status set at "buy" * Yahoo Finance sets the TP at $3.67 * NASDAQ sets the TP at $3 * TipRanks sets the TP at $3 * The Wall Street Journal sets the TP at $3
Final Thoughts/Comments * As always, please extend my DD by reading more into all the documents I have attached here, especially the SEC Filings & the corporate Presentation * Now that I have that out of the way, I feel very confident that this company will definitely run up leading into the PDUFA date set on August 28 * Everything LPCN is doing, they're doing it right. Especially since announcing they are on the regulatory path for the TLANDO PDUFA. * If approved, like $LPCN have mentioned earlier, they have the potential to be market leaders in that sector as it will enter a $2Billion+ market. * Not only do they have TLANDO to look forward too, they have four other pipelines doing just as well in clinical trials, especially LCPN-1144 as it has data readouts in Q4 of 2020
Anyways, I hope this DD has been able to help you guys out in any way possible :) I really hope you guys enjoyed this DD, I will be posting more either tonight or tomorrow night. Hope you all have a great day today & I hope everyone here had a good weekend well spent with family, friend or even on your own if you prefer solidarity. Anyways, take care everyone. Hope you all have a good day! :)
submitted by PradoMV96 to EducatedInvesting [link] [comments]


2020.07.05 16:11 homericseptiembredes Before I am gone, I wanna share a story

This piece was written for no purpose and I generally keep such things private. It is a moment I can articulate myself and I wanted to share my realisation. I am not sure if this could be triggering for some but this is mostly breakthrough and a little bit trauma story
Like in the Eminem' s song, let me share my story with you. Somehow this is a group therapy. I feel so sorry for my mom. I saw someone s post saying that people who were abused by narcissistic people, regardless of the relationship kind, cannot feel pity or sorry for them. But the root of the problem is not my romantic partners, I see them as my symptoms that resulted from upbringing. So, I feel sometimes sorry for them. I must admit that I am angry at them. The most important thing, which I did not deserve what they did, but Obviously I could not protect myself emotionally.
I realised that I repeated every pattern, always putting her feelings first, in my romantic relationships. Actually it affected every relationship I had, even with myself. There were times that I called her everyday, that I sensed even the smallest low mood she felt. Once that happened, I put emergency button and tried everthing to cheer her up. She is a rescuer and sacrifice herself in every situation then become victim of whatever happens. I see she has been struggling, even now tears coming, but I cannot prevent what her decisions brought to her. When I try to introspect, I see I became her from the day I sensed feelings around me. I feel inferior everytime, as if I am a lion but acting like a mouse. I have a career and am one of the most successful ones in the familiy. However I feel unconfident about everything, it results in having difficulty in making decisions. I became a person who has passed his potential because nobody was there for me. Imposter syndrome...There was no witness. So if there is no witness, not being acknowledged or I could not feel it, would I be considered survivor?
I see I am in need of external validation. But the inner and external critics, with the great contributions of my father, does prolonge my struggles. Recently I started to call my mom less and I recognise everytime she calls she kinda makes me feel guilty and ashamed of myself. There is no reason for those feelings around us. I really enjoy living alone but for the last 6 months I feel so tired that I need a nap during the day whenever I spoke with people. This is just getting more present. The number of people I contact made me tired is decreasing. I just do not want to speak. Unfortunately naps make me angry, kinda moddy when I wake up. Maybe it is related with being forced to sleep when I was little. There is no positive point of view in people around me.
I feel I am such a warrior of positivity and unfortunately everybody expects me to make them feel less unhappy. I feel guilty if I do not make them feel ok. There is some kind of unwritten rule I am binded, but nobody is responsible, only me. I always contribute to everything I do, relationships, my job... I feel so lonely and tired after reading pete walker s book. I have not lived but I am adult. I always chose people who are not emotionally available, then I repeat the patterns I have gone through. This is the only thing I succeded so far emotionally. The irony! I pick every vampire to rescue them. But I cannot. This feeling that I could be white knight fantasy is so pathetic.
This is a loaded topic however my point is on how my personality has been expressed.there is no need to be alpha male in this sad world. I think being alpha only teachs some strategies to be more assertive, this is my understanding from the pete s book. If I have fawn or flight strategies, coaching with anything forcing to create healthy boundaries is beneficial. But I was my family' s emotion dumpster. One made feel less of a child and rejected, and the other used me for emotion regulation. There is no point in this pathological system.
Even primates teach their offsprings life skills until they reach a certain age. I learnt everything on my own. I lived in a foreign country for a period. I was always alone and nobody asked how I did or how I was. I did not feel that they worry for me really.
I am in great denial of everyhing I missed because otherwise I have to grieve. Everytime I am about to travel I feel nostalgic. These are some symptoms I have experienced and I wanted to share with strangers, in my second language. This is the sole opportunity I have right now. I feel I am blind because The only aspect of people I see is positive ones. This is blindness , the fact that ignoring that people could be bad, abusive. I really need to ignore that, otherwise I feel unsafe. Never felt safe, never felt I do have somewhere my own. Like where is home? I look at the sea for a long time and just emptiness invading every part of me. Not being able to love is kinda blindness that I find similar to Saramgo' s definition in his novel. It is dangerously contagious.
I do have a huge heart but I was the one who made promises myself that I would not be somebody like my father. Unfortunately I am. I inherited his critic as my external voice that I break people' s heart in a second in an unrelated topic. I am my mother' s voice as my inner voice, religiously blaming or shaming myself. I am so sorry for everything. I do not blame anyone. But this is not life, which is full of misery.
I betray myself everytime my critics take the wheel. But it is so hard to prevent it. As if this is the destiny I am obliged to conform. There are other people neglected my existance and I felt I was not there in that house near them. I am nobody until somebody needs someone. I betray myself everytime I am involved with people' s stupid views. I am more than enoug but I feel that nobody supports me. They just throw stones on my way. I feel lonely so much that I create my own reality in which I believe everybody without questioning their motivations. This is the first thing I do in every relationship. I believe people would love or validate me if I do not question them, mainly their motivations. I am just a person full of wishfull thinking. I am "the giving tree". Still do not blame anyone.
I am full of love and I want to keep it. I object living in your distorted world, which is full of labels, negative stereotypes and shame. I wanna be able to protect my love and do not want to feel lost, remorseful or angry. I do my best for everything regardless of situation. Yeah this is how much I lack boundaries. This is just so sad and I feel taken advantage of. Feeling unappreciated fills my days. But I "keep on keeping on". I started my writing with somebody else's feelings and their world. There is no me before anyone. This is so tiring but I still try to please people. This is how naive I am. Whenever I cook I told my family unconsciously to prove that Iam independent or I can cook, but then I realised that this is another way of getting validation. I stopped but there are so many things I cannot discriminate from seeking validation. It is not worth having external validation. It only makes your critics more powerfull and supports their unwarranted claims about how much usefullness is needed to be accepted as a human being. Never felt accepted unconditionally. People implement their agenda on me without hesitation as if they know at first sight how sucker I am. This is hell. Being a chimpanzee is much more different. Probably it is the best. When you are a chimpanzee, you either get nourished and nurtured or you get killed without experiencing human stupidity, abuse at least shorter than ours. Maybe they are living in the heaven. I appreciate everything I have, I feel and opportunities I have. But nobody should judge the other. There should not be any comparison. Everybody deserves a judgement on his own conditions. Edit: I needed to make some corrections and additions. But the moment I wrote this I could care following the grammer rules. There are still some ...
submitted by homericseptiembredes to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2020.07.03 06:34 Cadledelhi Best Hair Loss Treatment in South Delhi

What is PRP
Platelet-rich plasma (PRP) is concentrated blood plasma which contains approximately three to five times the number of platelets found in normal circulating blood. In addition to the platelets, it contains growth factors and other bioactive proteins that aid in wound healing and hair growth.
If you are looking for the best hair loss treatment in Delhi or baldness treatment in Delhi then you are at the right place as we offer hair restoration services like hair transplant and PRP.
At Pulastya’s Cadle, we have been performing PRP therapy as a proactive therapeutic option for male and female patients experiencing hair loss. PRP is an exciting non-surgical therapeutic option for patients who require stimulation of hair growth for hair loss conditions.
Recent scientific research and technology provide the medical community with new understandings of wound and tissue healing. As a result of these scientific studies, we recognize PRP is an all-natural autologous medical procedure performed in physicians’ offices for scalp, skin, and hair stimulation.
HOW DOES PRP WORK?
Human blood contains mesenchymal stem cells and autologous blood products that contain essential and specific growth factors that assist in tissue regeneration and healing. Published medical literature from Europe and the United States confirms the safety and use of PRP therapy. It has been used a medial adjunct therapy for over two decades for skin and wound healing.
PRP therapy has established itself to be effective as a medical treatment modality in the specialty fields of oral surgery, neurosurgery, plastic and cosmetic surgery, sports medicine and orthopedics. It has been used extensively in these specialties for the last twenty years with generally positive outcomes and success. In the field of hair restoration, evidence supports PRP therapy as a promising treatment option to promote hair growth. While PRP is in the early stages of scientific research in hair restoration, PRP is not meant to replace current FDA approved therapies such as DHT blockers and Minoxidil. But it is a promising non-surgical therapeutic option for those patients with hair loss.
HOW DO YOU PERFORM THE PROCEDURE?
Blood is drawn in our office as though you are having routine blood testing at your primary care physician’s office. The blood is spun in a centrifuge and the PRP is separated and removed from the rest of the blood.
The PRP is taken from your body and is specially prepared by spinning down the blood cells to a high concentration. Platelets are concentrated on 3X normal blood values. The system eliminates granulocytes which hurt tissue regeneration and wound healing. An anesthesia block is given to nerves of the scalp so the patient does not feel any pain. The highly concentrated platelet-rich plasma (PRP) is then injected into the scalp. The patient’s hair is then washed and the patient may drive home without any assistance. No sedation or any medication is given during the procedure to inhibit the ability to drive or use machinery.
ADVANTAGES OF PRP
· A progressive non-surgical healing treatment in a variety of fields.
A fraction of autologous blood with a supraphysiological concentration of platelets and their associated growth factors.
· Upon activation, platelet-derived α granules release autologous growth factors involved in cell proliferation, angiogenesis, collagenases, and matrix remodeling (PDGF/ TGF/ VEGF/ EGF/ FGF/ IGF, etc.).
· Autologous (from the patient’s own blood).
· Easy to use, rapid and effective system.
· Requires a small sample of blood (10ml).
· Optimal Platelet Concentration for ALL specialties.
· Biocompatible, and xeno-free, minimizing safety concerns and rejection.
· Control of PRP volume by discarding PPP.
· Increases platelet concentration.
· Virtually eliminating granulocytes from the PRP, which are considered not beneficial in terms of the regeneration process and may contribute to a catabolic effect by secreting catabolic mediators, including metalloproteinases.
· Eliminating undesired erythrocytes, which have been shown to significantly decrease fibroblast proliferation and augment apoptosis in vitro.
· Remnant of mononuclear cells present in the PRP assists in fighting infection and is thought to enhance the anabolic effects of PRP.
· PRP contains many growth factors that stimulate the hair follicle’s growth. PRP can be used preoperatively, intraoperatively, or postoperatively. Some patients chose to have PRP performed every three (3) to four
· (4) Months as early data suggest regular or semiannual PRP treatments that may stimulate hair growth.
THE SCIENCE OF PRP
PRP contains special cells called Platelets, that can theoretically cause the growth of the hair follicles by stimulating the stem cells and other cells in the microenvironment of the hair follicle. These special Platelet cells promote healing, accelerates the rate and degree of tissue healing and regeneration, respond to injury, and formation of new cellular growth. The primary purpose of using PRP in hair restoration is to stimulate inactive or newly implanted hair follicles into an active growth phase.
Inside the Platelets are many intracellular structures such as glycogen, lysosomes, and alpha granules. These granules within the PRP contain clotting and growth factors that are eventually released during the healing and repair process.
PRP SPECIFIC CELLS THAT CAUSES HAIR GROWTH INCLUDE:
· Platelet-Derived Growth Factor (PDGF)—promotes blood vessel growth, cell replication, skin formation;
· Transforming Growth-Factor-Beta (TGF-b)—promotes the growth of matrix between cells, bone metabolism;
· Vascular Endothelial Growth Factor (VEGF)—promotes blood vessel formation;
· Epidermal Growth Factor (EGF)—promotes cell growth and differentiation, blood vessel formation, collagen formation;
· Fibroblast Growth Factor-2 (FGF-2)—promotes the growth of specialized cells and blood vessel formation; and,
· Insulin-Like Growth Factor - (IGF)—a regulator of normal physiology in nearly every type of cell in the body
DOES PRP WORK?
Individual results vary with each patient. No guarantees of success can be made but PRP preliminary studies indicate patients can respond to PRP therapy. Some hair restoration surgeons apply PRP to the scalp for those patients who are not surgical candidates every three (3) to four (4) months. Other protocols will use PRP before or during surgery to insure graft survivability.
PRP is a potential emerging non-surgical based therapy for natural hair follicle stimulation for thinning hair. Larger clinical studies are pending but the current medical literature contains numerous optimistic results. Although a few controlled studies exist, anecdotal and case reports are the primary sources reflecting success with PRP therapy.
WHO SHOULD NOT HAVE PRP TREATMENT?
Patients with a history of heavy smoking, drug, and alcohol use. Medical diagnoses such as platelet dysfunction syndromes, thrombocytopenia’s, hyperfibrinogenaemia, hemodynamic instability, sepsis, acute and chronic Infections, chronic liver disease, anti-coagulation therapy, chronic skin diseases or cancer, metabolic and systemic disorders.
IS PRP FOR ME?
PRP has been used successfully in other medical and surgical disciplines for many years. The decision to use PRP is a personal decision and should be made after careful research, consideration, and consultation with a physician. PRP is safe and natural because the procedure concentrates the good cells from your scalp and injects them directly back into the area where it is needed. There is absolutely no chance of getting a blood infection from another human being. PRP involves using your own cells that are not modified or changed, and it will not be rejected by your immune system.
Extensive clinical trials are not complete and medical data is not yet published to establish the absolute effectiveness of PRP therapy in hair restoration. PRP should not be considered a “cure” for hair loss and no guarantee can be made about its individual effectiveness. No claim of PRP efficacy in promoting hair growth can be made because there is no FDA approval that would allow such claims to be made.
CAN I USE OTHER MEDICAL THERAPIES CONCURRENTLY?
Absolutely. In fact, we encourage it and prescribe PRP therapy as a complement to a nonsurgical approach for those patients who are not eligible for surgery or who want to delay hair restoration surgery. As a non-surgical treatment option, we recommend PRP therapy along with Minoxidil and DHT blockers or for those patients who can not tolerate or have side effects with these medications.
CONCLUSION
In summary, PRP therapy offers the opportunity for hair growth for those patients who are not candidates for surgery or those patients wanting a more aggressive nonsurgical approach to treatment. For our surgical patients, PRP therapy is performed on the same day as the hair restoration surgery.
Whether you are looking for additional hair stimulation, or are looking to have hair surgery with the addition of PRP, our Hair Restoration center is able to meet your needs. Results will vary from patient to patient, and PRP as a non-surgical option has not been offers patients with miniaturization and hair thinning improvement in hair caliber and thickness.
submitted by Cadledelhi to u/Cadledelhi [link] [comments]


2020.06.27 06:17 Casually-Existing Some Yucky Clichés That I Hate And Will Never Use When Writing

Mary Sue MCs (the ones that are overly likable) They’re so likable that I hate them. They have no personality and it’s so so irritating to se them be constantly praised by everyone because probably no one is like that.
Mean girls that are mean for no reason. I mean, sometimes people have an attitude, but there are these ones who literally emotionally scar people but have no motive for it. And do not even get me started on how many of them are blonde and wear pink. Pink is a great color and blonde is a nice hair shade to have. My mean girls will have brown hair and wear neutrals to show that b*tches come in all shapes and sizes.
Bad boy gang leader LIs. I just don’t like their lifestyle and I hate their “alpha male” personality.
Stockholm’s Syndrome. No. Just…no. If you get kidnapped, you aren’t supposed to fall in love with your kidnapper, that ain’t good.
The Sequel to Bad Boy Gang Leader Stockholm Syndrome story. Blah blah blah, they have a child who HAS to be a girl and then get married (in the order that I showed). But now, the story is now about feminism and the girl has to prove that she can run a gang. No, it’s not that she can’t, it’s that she shouldn’t. Neither a male, female or non-binary person should run a gang because that’s just. Not. Good.
Foodie MCs. I see these in a lot of stories where the MC is quirky. (She actually isn’t like other girls because other girls have other things to talk about that’s not food) They’re all like “gimme cookiez UwU” or “lol i way too much pizza lol”
And their conversation goes like this:
BFF: Lol u eat a lot but how do u have a perfect body?
MC: Lmao high metabolism lmao
Edit: I forgot about the raging homosexual, flamboyant, GBF who’s used as a comedy tool and only exists to comment about MCs non existent sex life and his impeccable fashion sense (btw, his fashion sense kinda sucks. He always wears pink scarves which don’t go with his outfit 😒)
“That’s all for today folks!”
The post flair is discussion so…
“Tell us some yucky clichés that YOU hate and will never use when writing!”
submitted by Casually-Existing to Episode [link] [comments]


2020.06.25 23:06 Megaanonxx My Ex and I recently reconnected. Is this healthy, or should I back away?

Hey guys, I would really appreciate some feedback. I unfortunately don't feel comfortable bringing this up to my close friends at the moment, so would like some second opinions. My apologies if this is long.
My ex and I dated for roughly 2.5 years. The first year was great. There were some red flags but there was always communication and compromise. We were building each other up and investing in a future together ( moved in, shared bills, etc). There were highs and lows. The biggest thing was I noticed he had a temper, and the whole "alpha male syndrome". This wasn't an issue in the past because I always only associated with him and HIS friends. As I gained more independence, our relationship took a turn.
We had lots of beautiful moments and even considered marriage. But between his temper and his ego, we started to argue more and more. Other people noticed it. Friends were concerned about me, my family was upset (and I barely even got to see them due to that). When we would fight, he would often yell hurtful things. We'd argue until I was reduced to tears. Then later he would be upset and apologize and we would make up one way or another. He would improve, and then the cycle would start all over. During this time frame he was also extremely self destructive. It was so hard trying g to keep him on a better path. He was blowing through money, ruining friendships, got fired from his job, became even MORE aggressive, etc. He was in a bad place and even though I tried to help it just pushed us away more. His temper got worse towards me and I finally drew the line and split. I felt like a crutch in our relationship as I was trying to fix everything just to get yelled at some more.
It was extremely hard. We were very in love and very involved with each other. The split was challenging considering we had a lease, car loans, etc, but needed to be done. Both realized this was not healthy. We split 4 months ago and it all still feels fresh for me. We still kept in touch as we had to due to some bills still being shared.
During those 4 months. I have been focusing on me. A couple weeks ago I started chatting with some guys (all casual) trying to get out of my shell and "move on". I've hit it off great with some and have had fun dates, but still the pit in my stomach of missing my ex, or missing his comfort. Or even the thought of HIM trying to date and move on made me feel sick. The other day, he reached out to me asking if we could meet for lunch and discuss bills. It seemed business related so I agreed as some of our bills are hard to discuss via phone and text.
We met up and had a great time. It was like our first date all over again. So easy to laugh and enjoy our company. It felt great. When I got home, i burst into tears because it brought all those positive memories back, and I started questioning if it was right for me to split up with him. I then felt guilty for going on dates with other men. He obviously had a great time as well, and the next day wanted to talk and introduced the idea of us slowly going on dates again. He mentioned he knows he was wrong in the past and hated who he became and is changing himself for the better. He seems genuine but i can't tell if I'm thinking with my heart or my brain. He said he wanted to take things slow, and have no physical actions (as in no sex as that complicates things) and just start fresh. Mentioned he didn't want to talk to anyone else and would expect the same from me as we worked on each other. I told him I needed some time to think, and I honestly can't tell if this is healthy or not.
I miss him beyond belief, can't tell if i made a mistake or not. But if I went back to him, I am scared he didn't read change. Scared that its all just am act, or even scared that he feels like he can't let his guard down.
Not to mention, my family would be beyond upset..
submitted by Megaanonxx to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.06.18 00:18 REVERSEZOOM2 I don't feel manly enough (Reposted from r/askpsychologists)

Hey guys, apologize for the long post in advance. I'm a 20-year-old dude that has struggled with feeling like a man for most of my life. I was bullied since a young age, never had many friends (especially no male friends), and was always made fun of for being very skinny and into more "girly" things (theater, music, etc). There was a good chance I was sexually abused as a child as well. In school. I was oddly "flirted" with by tons of "big" dudes because of my small frame. To make matters worse, because of this I have never been able to make deep enough connections with dudes and all of my friendships have been with women. My father isn't an ideal male role model so I didn't even have a positive male role model to look up to. Well fast forward to adult life, I decided to take up lifting and bulked up quite a bit and have noticeable muscle mass and have changed my personality to a more traditional "male personality", but have kept most of my "girly" interests, friendships, and ideals (I'm highly empathetic, don't care for cars or sports, etc) . Most people nowadays see me as a highly respectable "alpha male" (for lack of a better term). However, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I just don't feel like a man in the traditional sense. I'm not loud, arrogant, or even very macho, Basically, I feel imposter syndrome when it comes to being a man.
Usually, I can just shake the feeling and it doesn't bother me long after, but whenever my self esteem is on the floor the thoughts come back. I just feel weak and fragile. I made the mistake of joining a gender studies class in college, and because of my OCD, it did not go well. All of these intrusive thoughts of "what if I'm really just not meant to be a guy?" filled my head because of my past and the vague terminology surrounding trans ideas. I find it absurd cause most of the time I love being a guy and have absolutely no body dysmorphia (I wanna get more jacked). I hate it because no matter how many girls I'm able to win over I just CAN'T shake the imposter feeling. No matter how hard i try I can't be as macho or as tough as society says I should be.
Anyways rant over, thank you guys for reading, I just wanted to know if you guys had any experience with feelings like this. However, I realize I will need to go to a therapist to get this sorted out. Any advice is welcome.
submitted by REVERSEZOOM2 to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.06.18 00:16 REVERSEZOOM2 I don't feel manly enough

Hey guys, apologize for the long post in advance. I'm a 20-year-old dude that has struggled with feeling like a man for most of my life. I was bullied since a young age, never had many friends (especially no male friends), and was always made fun of for being very skinny and into more "girly" things (theater, music, etc). There was a good chance I was sexually abused as a child as well. In school. I was oddly "flirted" with by tons of "big" dudes because of my small frame. To make matters worse, because of this I have never been able to make deep enough connections with dudes and all of my friendships have been with women. My father isn't an ideal male role model so I didn't even have a positive male role model to look up to. Well fast forward to adult life, I decided to take up lifting and bulked up quite a bit and have noticeable muscle mass and have changed my personality to a more traditional "male personality", but have kept most of my "girly" interests, friendships, and ideals (I'm highly empathetic, don't care for cars or sports, etc) . Most people nowadays see me as a highly respectable "alpha male" (for lack of a better term). However, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I just don't feel like a man in the traditional sense. I'm not loud, arrogant, or even very macho, Basically, I feel imposter syndrome when it comes to being a man.
Usually, I can just shake the feeling and it doesn't bother me long after, but whenever my self esteem is on the floor the thoughts come back. I just feel weak and fragile. I made the mistake of joining a gender studies class in college, and because of my OCD, it did not go well. All of these intrusive thoughts of "what if I'm really just not meant to be a guy?" filled my head because of my past and the vague terminology surrounding trans ideas. I find it absurd cause most of the time I love being a guy and have absolutely no body dysmorphia (I wanna get more jacked). I hate it because no matter how many girls I'm able to win over I just CAN'T shake the imposter feeling. No matter how hard i try I can't be as macho or as tough as society says I should be.
Anyways rant over, thank you guys for reading, Any advice is welcome.
submitted by REVERSEZOOM2 to askpsychologists [link] [comments]


2020.06.16 12:45 doomdragon2000 Stabbing muscle pain with severe fatigue

38 male, 5'11", white, 195lbs (220 a year ago, steadily lowering since starting my supplements), taking eliquis (I've had two blood clots), vitamin D, b complex (naturemade b stress complex), malic acid, Coq10, alpha lipoic acid, resveratrol, NMN. My diet is mostly vegetables, with normal sized portions of protein 4-6 oz. I drink water, coffee (2 cups a day) and some milk, mostly in my coffee. I might drink a soda a month. I have eaten fast food about once a month over the same time frame.
With the COVID-19 issue I haven't been able to seek out a functional medicine doctor, the closest who is about 60 miles from me and likely not covered by insurance.
I've been dealing with chronic fatigue and stabbing muscle pains for around 7 years, that move around my body, but which are primarily focused on my chest and upper back (occasionally they move to the thighs). This all started after I finished my 5 year tour on a submarine.
The normal doctors I've seen want to diagnose me with chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I do not accept these diagnosis. They are blanket terms for things they haven't figured out. I have kept things under control for a year or so with my supplements only to have everything come back with a vengeance over the past three days. A hot shower can help alleviate the stabbing pain, acetaminophen helps too. Not even caffeine makes a dent in the fatigue. I wake up tired, I nap, I get up tired. I stay up, I'm no more tired than if I slept.
I had some success with a functional medicine approach, and figured out I had low vitamin D. Improved me for a while. Made sense given my time on a sub.
Read a story about Lyme and realized I had all the symptoms except joint pain. Went down a rabbit hole there. Found the supplement regime above and got tested by infectious diseases and found Lyme was borderline and Mycoplasma was positive. I did the doxycycline treatment and my tests followed up negative.
I've since been to a rheumatologist and he hasn't helped. He just wants to say chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia.
I refuse to accept chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia as a diagnosis based on being able to control this for nearly a year with my supplements. I feel like I have to be missing something. Is there anything else I should be considering? What might cause the sudden change to bring this back?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
submitted by doomdragon2000 to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2020.06.15 22:53 thebookster19 Recommendation: Overpowered main character

Hi all!
Ever since I saw One Punch Man I have been obsessed with overpowered main characters in every medium. As I am also a gamer and D&D player, finding litrpg was a godsend! :-D
However, I read voraciously and I am a little picky when it comes to what I really crave, and I would love your help in finding what to read next! I really appreciate all recommendations, although I will give a list of +'s and -'s that will really narrow down my tastes. Mix and match the following cells, or just tell me your favorite book!
The following lists are as extensive as I could think of. I am not expecting to find all or even most of these in one place, they are just everything I like. Cells are not in any particular order within a theme.
+ OP traits (If the overpowered-ness has these traits, that is extra awesome)
MC is underestimated MC is unique in some way
MC rarely - if ever - loses a fight Has incredibly fast growth
+ MC traits (If the main character has these traits, that is extra awesome)
Morally Good Intelligent (at least somewhat)
Starts out weak Cool in an emergency
Male Determined
Ambitious Non-human
White knight syndrome (tries to help everyone)
+ Setting elements (If the setting/writing has these elements, that is extra awesome)
Rules are in reality (it's not just a video game) Magic
Magical Creatures Magical Humanoids
+ Story elements (If the story/series has these elements, that is extra awesome)
One primary P.O.V. Harem
Erotica MC goes to school (esp. magic school)
MC is trying to hide the fact that they are OP Lots of content already available
Isekai (Transport MC to another world) On Kindle Unlimited
Lots of action Upbeat (fun, not depressing)

I have read (or at least tried) all of the following LitRPG stores, listed in no particular order:
The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound Mythran's Master of All, Jack of None Celestine Chronicles
Dungeon Bringer American Dragons The Valens Legacy
Main Character Hides His Strength (Enemy of the World) Rise to Omniscience Dungeon World (A Dungeon Core Experience)
The Land Enthralled Herald of Shalia
Binding Words Alpha World The World
Deathcreator Forger of Worlds Apocalypse Gates
Super Sales on Super Heroes Supers - Ex Heroes The Completionist Chronicles (Ritualist)
Challenger's Call (Downfall and Rise) Forbidden Arcana Ten Realms (The Two-Week Curse)
Otherlife Dreams Emerilia

I have also read (or tried) the following series that aren't LitRPG in my quest (in case anyone's curious), listed in no particular order:
Bone Lord Immortal Swordslinger Monster Core
Dungeon Master Summoner Succubus Lord
Daniel Black (Fimbulwinter) Power Mage King's Dark Tidings
The Wings of War The Shattered Reigns The Silvan
Damned and Cursed Monster Girl Islands Metal Mage
Adamantine Chronicles Galactic Champion Master of All (Branded)
Super Hero Academy Portals of Infinity Wild Wastes
Dragon Emperor: Human to Dragon to God Lusam: The Dragon Mage Wars Dahlia: Birth of an A.I.
Mythic Summoner The Iron Druid Chronicles
Red Rising Lightbringer (The Black Prism) The Last of the Renshai
The Demon Accords Fostering Faust Swing Shift
Dungeon Deposed Death Knight Dark Dungeon
Dark Dungeon's Revenge Oracle's Maidens Three Square Meals (The John Blake Chronicles)
The Hunter Legacy Universe Moore World ...
Some of the above books might be sorted wrong, I don't remember all of them that well.

Jeez, you made it all the way down here? Wow, thank you!
submitted by thebookster19 to litrpg [link] [comments]


2020.06.14 16:50 valiantseal AP Bio Guide (Units 8 in comments)

AP Bio Guide (Units 8 in comments)

1) Chemistry of Life

Content

  • Transpiration
    • Hydrogen bonds pull water up like string and leave through stoma
    • Stomata: leaf pores that allow gas exchange, most are on bottom side of leaf
    • Xylem: tube-shaped, nonlining, vascular system, carries water from roots to rest of plant
    • Epidermis: outer layer, protects plant
    • Phloem: transports food
    • Parenchyma: stores food
    • Transpiration: evaporation of water from leaves
    • Adhesion: polar water molecules adhere to polar surfaces (sides of xylem)
    • Cohesion: polar water molecules adhere to each other
    • Guard cells: cells surrounding stoma, regulate transpiration through opening and closing stoma
    • Turgid vs flaccid guard cells
      • Turgid swell caused by potassium ions, water potential decreases, water enters vacuoles of guard cells
      • Swelling of guard cells open stomata
    • High light levels, high levels of water, low temperature, low CO2 causes opening of stomata
    • Water potential: transport of water in plant governed by differences in water potential
      • Affected by solute concentration and environmental conditions
    • High water potential (high free energy and more water) travels to low water potential
    • Hydrophilic = attracts water, hydrophobic = repels water
  • Water and its Properties
    • Polar molecule due to positive hydrogen and negative oxygen regions
    • Negative oxygen of one molecule to positive hydrogen of another water molecule forms a hydrogen bond, which are weak individually but strong together
    • Important physical properties of water:
      • Cohesion and adhesion: cohesion creates surface tension and they both allow for transpiration
      • High specific heat: enables water to absorb and lose heat slowly
      • High heat of vaporization: allows much of it to remain liquid
      • Nearly universal polar solvent: dissolves a lot of stuff
      • Flotation of ice: insulates, transportation
  • Biological Macromolecules
    • Polymer: long molecule consisting of many similar building blocks linked by covalent bonds
    • Monomer: building block of a polymer
    • ATP - adenosine triphosphate, energy carrier that uses bonds between phosphates to store energy
      • Similar in structure to a ribonucleotide
    • Four Types
      • Carbohydrates
      • Lipids
      • Proteins
      • Nucleic Acids
https://preview.redd.it/xp12oli61w451.png?width=1098&format=png&auto=webp&s=cc897738989258c67bcc760ba040e2cee8f7875c
  • Functional groups
    • Hydroxyl - carbs, alcohols - OH-, O-
    • Amino - proteins - NH2, NH3+
    • Carboxyl - weak acids - COOH, COO-
    • Sulfhydryl - proteins - SH
    • Phosphatic - salts, strong acids - PO
  • Directionality:
    • ex: glucose alpha and beta
    • ex: DNA and RNA 5’ and 3’ ends
  • Identification of Macromolecules
https://preview.redd.it/cb3oau2j1w451.png?width=1089&format=png&auto=webp&s=409e26f32c9996a3649bad81d17ed72769955ce9

Calculations

  • Number of bonds
    • # of molecules - 1
    • i.e. 20 glucose molecules linked together would have 19 bonds
  • Molecular formula
    • # of molecules * molecular formula - number of bonds * H20 (from hydrolysis)
    • i.e. when you bond 5 glucose molecules together you have to subtract 4H2O
  • pH/pOH
    • -log[H+] = pH
    • -log[OH-] = pOH
    • pH + pOH = 14
  • Leaf surface area
    • i.e. using graph paper to find surface area
  • Transpiration rate
    • Amount of water used / surface area / time

Labs

  • Transpiration Lab
    • Basically you take this potometer which measures the amount of water that gets sucked up by a plant that you have and you expose the plant to different environmental conditions (light, humidity, temperature) and see how fast the water gets transpired
    • Random stuff to know:
      • It’s hard to get it to work properly
      • A tight seal of vaseline keeps everything tidy and prevents water from evaporating straight from the tube, also allows for plant to suck properly
      • Water travels from high water potential to low water potential

2) Cell Structure & Function

Content

  • Cellular Components
    • Many membrane-bound organelles evolved from once free prokaryotes via endosymbiosis, such as mitochondria (individual DNA)
    • Compartmentalization allows for better SA:V ratio and helps regulate cellular processes
    • Cytoplasm: thick solution in each cell containing water, salts, proteins, etc; everything - nucleus
      • Cytoplasmic streaming: moving all the organelles around to give them nutrients, speeds up reactions
    • Cytosol: liquid of the cytoplasm (mostly water)
    • Plasma Membrane: separates inside of cell from extracellular space, controls what passes through amphipathic area (selectively permeable)
      • Fluid-Mosaic model: phospholipid bilayer + embedded proteins
      • Aquaporin: hole in membrane that allows water through
    • Cell Wall: rigid polysaccharide layer outside of plasma membrane in plants/fungi/bacteria
      • Bacteria have peptidoglycan, fungi have chitin, and plants have cellulose and lignin
      • Turgor pressure pushes the membrane against the wall
    • Nucleus: contains genetic information
      • Has a double membrane called the nuclear envelope with pores
    • Nucleolus: in nucleus, produces ribosomes
    • Chromosomes: contain DNA
    • Centrioles: tubulin thing that makes up centrosome in the middle of a chromosome
    • Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum: storage of proteins and lipids
    • Rough Endoplasmic Reticulum: synthesizes and packages proteins
    • Chloroplasts: photosynthetic, sunlight transferred into chemical energy and sugars
      • More on this in photosynthesis
    • Vacuoles: storage, waste breakdown, hydrolysis of macromolecules, plant growth
    • Plasmodesmata: channels through cell walls that connect adjacent cells
    • Golgi Apparatus: extracellular transport
    • Lysosome: degradation and waste management
      • Mutations in the lysosome cause the cell to swell with unwanted molecules and the cell will slow down or kill itself
    • Mitochondria: powerhouse of the cell
      • Mutations in the mitochondria cause a lack of deficiency of energy in the cell leading to an inhibition of cell growth
    • Vesicles: transport of intracellular materials
    • Microtubules: tubulin, stiff, mitosis, cell transport, motor proteins
    • Microfilaments: actin, flexible, cell movement
    • Flagella: one big swim time
    • Cilia: many small swim time
    • Peroxisomes: bunch of enzymes in a package that degrade H202 with catalase
    • Ribosomes: protein synthesis
    • Microvilli: projections that increase cell surface area like tiny feetsies
      • In the intestine, for example, microvilli allow more SA to absorb nutrients
    • Cytoskeleton: hold cell shape
  • Cellular Transport
    • Passive transport: diffusion
      • Cell membranes selectively permeable (large and charged repelled)
      • Tonicity: osmotic (water) pressure gradient
    • Cells are small to optimize surface area to volume ratio, improving diffusion
    • Primary active transport: ATP directly utilized to transport
    • Secondary active transport: something is transported using energy captured from movement of other substance flowing down the concentration gradient
    • Endocytosis: large particles enter a cell by membrane engulfment
      • Phagocytosis: “cell eating”, uses pseudopodia around solids and packages it within a membrane
      • Pinocytosis: “cell drinking”, consumes droplets of extracellular fluid
      • Receptor-mediated endocytosis: type of pinocytosis for bulk quantities of specific substances
    • Exocytosis: internal vesicles fuse with the plasma membrane and secrete large molecules out of the cell
    • Ion channels and the sodium potassium pump
      • Ion channel: facilitated diffusion channel that allows specific molecules through
      • Sodium potassium pump: uses charged ions (sodium and potassium)
    • Membrane potential: voltage across a membrane
    • Electrogenic pump: transport protein that generates voltage across a membrane
    • Proton pump: transports protons out of the cell (plants/fungi/bacteria)
    • Cotransport: single ATP-powered pump transports a specific solute that can drive the active transport of several other solutes
    • Bulk flow: one-way movement of fluids brought about by pressure
    • Dialysis: diffusion of solutes across a selective membrane
  • Cellular Components Expanded: The Endomembrane System
    • Nucleus + Rough ER + Golgi Bodies
      • Membrane and secretory proteins are synthesized in the rough endoplasmic reticulum, vesicles with the integral protein fuse with the cis face of the Golgi apparatus, modified in Golgi, exits as an integral membrane protein of the vesicles that bud from the Golgi’s trans face, protein becomes an integral portion of that cell membrane

Calculations

  • Surface area to volume ratio of a shape (usually a cube)
  • U-Shaped Tube (where is the water traveling)
    • Solution in u-shaped tube separated by semi-permeable membrane
    • find average of solute (that is able to move across semi permeable membrane)
    • add up total molar concentration on both sides
    • water travels where concentration is higher
  • Water Potential = Pressure Potential + Solute Potential
    • Solute Potential = -iCRT
      • i = # of particles the molecule will make in water
      • C = molar concentration
      • R = pressure constant (0.0831)
      • T = temperature in kelvin

Labs

  • Diffusion and Osmosis
    • Testing the concentration of a solution with known solutions
    • Dialysis bag
      • Semipermeable bag that allows the water to pass through but not the solute
    • Potato core
      • Has a bunch of solutes inside

Relevant Experiments

  • Lynne Margolis: endosymbiotic theory (mitochondria lady)
  • Chargaff: measured A/G/T/C in everything (used UV chromatography)
  • Franklin + Watson and Crick: discovered structure of DNA; Franklin helped with x ray chromatography

3) Cellular Energetics

Content

  • Reactions and Thermodynamics
    • Baseline: used to establish standard for chemical reaction
    • Catalyst: speeds up a reaction (enzymes are biological catalysts)
    • Exergonic: energy is released
    • Endergonic: energy is consumed
    • Coupled reactions: energy lost/released from exergonic reaction is used in endergonic one
    • Laws of Thermodynamics:
      • First Law: energy cannot be created nor destroyed, and the sum of energy in the universe is constant
      • Second Law: energy transfer leads to less organization (greater entropy)
      • Third Law: the disorder (entropy) approaches a constant value as the temperature approaches 0
    • Cellular processes that release energy may be coupled with other cellular processes
    • Loss of energy flow means death
    • Energy related pathways in biological systems are sequential to allow for a more controlled/efficient transfer of energy (product of one metabolic pathway is reactant for another)
    • Bioenergetics: study of how energy is transferred between living things
    • Fuel + 02 = CO2 + H20
      • Combustion, Photosynthesis, Cellular Respiration (with slight differences in energy)
  • Enzymes
    • Speed up chemical processes by lowering activation energy
    • Structure determines function
    • Active sites are selective
    • Enzymes are typically tertiary- or quaternary-level proteins
    • Catabolic: break down / proteases and are exergonic
    • Anabolic: build up and are endergonic
    • Enzymes do not change energy levels
    • Substrate: targeted molecules in enzymatic
    • Many enzymes named by ending substrate in “-ase”
    • Enzymes form temporary substrate-enzyme complexes
    • Enzymes remain unaffected by the reaction they catalyze
    • Enzymes can’t change a reaction or make other reactions occur
    • Induced fit: enzyme has to change its shape slightly to accommodate the substrate
    • Cofactor: factor that help enzymes catalyze reactions (org or inorg)
      • Examples: temp, pH, relative ratio of enzyme and substrate
      • Organic cofactors are called coenzymes
    • Denaturation: enzymes damaged by heat or pH
    • Regulation: protein’s function at one site is affected by the binding of regulatory molecule to a separate site
    • Enzymes enable cells to achieve dynamic metabolism - undergo multiple metabolic processes at once
    • Cannot make an endergonic reaction exergonic
    • Steps to substrates becoming products
      • Substrates enters active site, enzyme changes shape
      • Substrates held in active site by weak interactions (i.e. hydrogen bonds)
      • Substrates converted to product
      • Product released
      • Active site available for more substrate
    • Rate of enzymatic reaction increases with temperature but too hot means denaturation
    • Inhibitors fill the active site of enzymes
      • Some are permanent, some are temporary
      • Competitive: block substrates from their active sites
      • Non competitive (allosteric): bind to different part of enzyme, changing the shape of the active site
    • Allosteric regulation: regulatory molecules interact with enzymes to stimulate or inhibit activity
    • Enzyme denaturation can be reversible
  • Cellular Respiration
    • Steps
      • Glycolysis
      • Acetyl co-A reactions
      • Krebs / citric acid cycle
      • Oxidative phosphorylation
    • Brown fat: cells use less efficient energy production method to make heat
    • Hemoglobin (transport, fetal oxygen affinity > maternal) and myoglobin (stores oxygen)
  • Photosynthesis
    • 6CO2 + 6H20 + Light = C6H12O6 + 6O2
    • Absorption vs action spectrum (broader, cumulative, overall rate of photosynthesis)
    • Components
      • Chloroplast
      • Mesophyll: interior leaf tissue that contains chloroplasts
      • Pigment: substance that absorbs light
    • Steps
      • Light-Dependent Reaction
      • Light-Independent (Dark) Reaction (Calvin Cycle)
  • Anaerobic Respiration (Fermentation)
    • Glycolysis yields 2ATP + 2NADH + 2 Pyruvate
    • 2NADH + 2 Pyruvate yields ethanol and lactate
    • Regenerates NAD+

Calculations

  • Calculate products of photosynthesis & cellular respiration

Labs

  • Enzyme Lab
    • Peroxidase breaks down peroxides which yields oxygen gas, quantity measured with a dye
    • Changing variables (i.e. temperature) yields different amounts of oxygen
  • Photosynthesis Lab
    • Vacuum in a syringe pulls the oxygen out of leaf disks, no oxygen causes them to sink in bicarbonate solution, bicarbonate is added to give the disks a carbon source for photosynthesis which occurs at different rates under different conditions, making the disks buoyant
  • Cellular Respiration Lab
    • Use a respirometer to measure the consumption of oxygen (submerge it in water)
    • You put cricket/animal in the box that will perform cellular respiration
    • You put KOH in the box with cricket to absorb the carbon dioxide (product of cellular respiration)-- it will form a solid and not impact your results

Relevant Experiments

  • Engelmann
    • Absorption spectra dude with aerobic bacteria

4) Cell Communication & Cell Cycle

Content

  • Cell Signalling
    • Quorum sensing: chemical signaling between bacteria
      • See Bonnie Bassler video
    • Taxis/Kinesis: movement of an organism in response to a stimulus (chemotaxis is response to chemical)
    • Ligand: signalling molecule
    • Receptor: ligands bind to elicit a response
    • Hydrophobic: cholesterol and other such molecules can diffuse across the plasma membrane
    • Hydrophilic: ligand-gated ion channels, catalytic receptors, G-protein receptor
  • Signal Transduction
    • Process by which an extracellular signal is transmitted to inside of cell
    • Pathway components
      • Signal/Ligand
      • Receptor protein
      • Relay molecules: second messengers and the phosphorylation cascade
      • DNA response
    • Proteins in signal transduction can cause cancer if activated too much (tumor)
      • RAS: second messenger for growth factor-- suppressed by p53 gene (p53 is protein made by gene) if it gets too much
    • Response types
      • Gene expression changes
      • Cell function
      • Alter phenotype
      • Apoptosis- programmed cell death
      • Cell growth
      • Secretion of various molecules
    • Mutations in proteins can cause effects downstream
    • Pathways are similar and many bacteria emit the same chemical within pathways, evolution!
  • Feedback
    • Positive feedback amplifies responses
      • Onset of childbirth, lactation, fruit ripening
    • Negative feedback regulates response
      • Blood sugar (insulin goes down when glucagon goes up), body temperature
  • Cell cycle
    • Caused by reproduction, growth, and tissue renewal
    • Checkpoint: control point that triggers/coordinates events in cell cycle
    • Mitotic spindle: microtubules and associated proteins
      • Cytoskeleton partially disassembles to provide the material to make the spindle
      • Elongates with tubulin
      • Shortens by dropping subunits
      • Aster: radial array of short microtubules
      • Kinetochores on centrosome help microtubules to attach to chromosomes
    • IPMAT: interphase, prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase
      • PMAT is mitotic cycle
    • Steps
      • Interphase
      • Mitosis
      • Cytokinesis
    • Checkpoints
      • 3 major ones during cell cycle:
      • cyclin-cdk-mpf: cyclin dependent kinase mitosis promoting factor
      • Anchorage dependence: attached, very important aspect to cancer
      • Density dependence: grow to a certain size, can’t hurt organs
      • Genes can suppress tumors
    • G0 phase is when cells don’t grow at all (nerve, muscle, and liver cells)

Calculations

Relevant Experiments

  • Sutherland
    • Broke apart liver cells and realized the significance of the signal transduction pathway, as the membrane and the cytoplasm can’t activate glycogen phosphorylase by themselves

5) Heredity

Content

  • Types of reproduction
    • Sexual: two parents, mitosis/meiosis, genetic variation/diversity (and thus higher likelihood of survival in a changing environment)
    • Asexual: doesn’t require mate, rapid, almost genetically identitical (mutations)
      • Binary fission (bacteria)
      • Budding (yeast cells)
      • Fragmentation (plants and sponges)
      • Regeneration (starfish, newts, etc.)
  • Meiosis
    • One diploid parent cell undergoes two rounds of cell division to produce up to four haploid genetically varied cells
    • n = 23 in humans, where n is the number of unique chromosomes
    • Meiosis I
      • Prophase: synapsis (two chromosome sets come together to form tetrad), chromosomes line up with homologs, crossing over
      • Metaphase: tetrads line up at metaphase plate, random alignment
      • Anaphase: tetrad separation, formation at opposite poles, homologs separate with their centromeres intact
      • Telophase: nuclear membrane forms, two haploid daughter cells form
    • Meiosis II
      • Prophase: chromosomes condense
      • Metaphase: chromosomes line up single file, not pairs, on the metaphase plate
      • Anaphase: chromosomes split at centromere
      • Telophase: nuclear membrane forms and 4 total haploid cells are produced
    • Genetic variation
      • Crossing over: homologous chromosomes swap genetic material
      • Independent assortment: homologous chromosomes line up randomly
      • Random fertilization: random sperm and random egg interact
    • Gametogenesis
      • Spermatogenesis: sperm production
      • Oogenesis: egg cells production (¼ of them degenerate)
  • Fundamentals of Heredity
    • Traits: expressed characteristics
    • Gene: “chunk” of DNA that codes for a specific trait
    • Homologous chromosomes: two copies of a gene
    • Alleles: copies of chromosome may differ bc of crossing over
    • Homozygous/Heterozygous: identical/different
    • Phenotype: physical representation of genotype
    • Generations
      • Parent or P1
      • Filial or F1
      • F2
    • Law of dominance: one trait masks the other one
      • Complete: one trait completely covers the other one
      • Incomplete: traits are both expressed
      • Codominance: traits combine
    • Law of segregation (Mendel): each gamete gets one copy of a gene
    • Law of independent assortment (Mendel): traits segregate independently from one another
    • Locus: location of gene on chromosome
    • Linked genes: located on the same chromosome, loci less than 50 cM apart
    • Gene maps and linkage maps
    • Nondisjunction: inability of chromosomes to separate (ex down syndrome)
    • Polygenic: many genes influence one phenotype
    • Pleiotropic: one gene influences many phenotypes
    • Epistasis: one gene affects another gene
    • Mitochondrial and chloroplast DNA is inherited maternally
  • Diseases/Disorders
    • Genetic:
      • Tay-Sachs: can’t break down specific lipid in brain
      • Sickle cell anemia: misshapen RBCs
      • Color blindness
      • Hemophilia: lack of clotting factors
    • Chromosomal:
      • Turner: only one X chromosome
      • Klinefelter: XXY chromosomes
      • Down syndrome (trisomy 21): nondisjunction
  • Crosses
    • Sex-linked stuff
    • Blood type
    • Barr bodies: in women, two X chromosomes; different chromosomes expressed in different parts of the body, thus creating two different phenotype expressions in different places

Calculations

  • Pedigree/Punnett Square
  • Recombination stuff
    • Recombination rate = # of recombinable offspring/ total offspring (times 100) units: map units

Relevant Experiments

  • Mendel

6) Gene Expression and Regulation

Content

  • DNA and RNA Structure
    • Prokaryotic organisms typically have circular chromosomes
    • Plasmids = extrachromosomal circular DNA molecules
    • Purines (G, A) are double-ringed while pyrimidines (C, T, U) have single ring
    • Types of RNA:
      • mRNA - (mature) messenger RNA (polypeptide production)
      • tRNA - transfer RNA (polypeptide production)
      • rRNA - ribosomal RNA (polypeptide production)
      • snRNA - small nuclear RNA (bound to snRNPs - small nuclear ribonucleoproteins)
      • miRNA - microRNA (regulatory)
  • DNA Replication
    • Steps:
      • Helicase opens up the DNA at the replication fork.
      • Single-strand binding proteins coat the DNA around the replication fork to prevent rewinding of the DNA.
      • Topoisomerase works at the region ahead of the replication fork to prevent supercoiling.
      • Primase synthesizes RNA primers complementary to the DNA strand.
      • DNA polymerase III extends the primers, adding on to the 3' end, to make the bulk of the new DNA.
      • RNA primers are removed and replaced with DNA by DNA polymerase I.
      • The gaps between DNA fragments are sealed by DNA ligase.
  • Protein Synthesis
    • 61 codons code for amino acids, 3 code as STOP - UAA, UAG, UGA - 64 total
    • Transcription Steps:
      • RNA polymerase binds to promoter (before gene) and separate the DNA strands
      • RNA polymerase fashions a complementary RNA strand from a DNA strand
      • Coding strand is same as RNA being made, template strand is complementary
      • Terminator on gene releases the RNA polymerase
    • RNA Processing Steps (Eukaryotes):
      • 5’ cap and 3’ (poly-A tail, poly A polymerase) tail is added to strand (guanyl transferase)
      • Splicing of the RNA occurs in which introns are removed and exons are added by spliceosome
      • Cap/tail adds stability, splicing makes the correct sequence (“gibberish”)
    • Translation Steps:
      • Initiation complex is the set up of a ribosome around the beginning of an mRNA fragment
      • tRNA binds to codon, amino acid is linked to other amino acid
      • mRNA is shifted over one codon (5’ to 3’)
      • Stop codon releases mRNA
  • Gene Expression
    • Translation of mRNA to a polypeptide occurs on ribosomes in the cytoplasm as well as rough ER
    • Translation of the mRNA occurs during transcription in prokaryotes
    • Genetic info in retroviruses is an exception to normal laws: RNA to DNA is possible with reverse transcriptase, which allows the virus to integrate into the host’s DNA
    • Regulatory sequences = stretches of DNA that interact with regulatory proteins to control transcription
    • Epigenetic changes can affect expression via mods of DNA or histones
    • Observable cell differentiation results from the expression of genes for tissue-specific proteins
    • Induction of transcription factors during dev results in gene expression
    • Prokaryotes: operons transcribed in a single mRNA molecule, inducible system
    • Eukaryotes: groups of genes may be influenced by the same transcription factors to coordinate expression
    • Promoters = DNA sequences that RNA polymerase can latch onto to initiate
    • Negative regulators inhibit gene expression by binding to DNA and blocking transcription
    • Acetylation (add acetyl groups)- more loosely wound/ less tightly coiled/compressed
    • Methylation of DNA (add methyl groups) - less transcription- more tightly wound
  • Mutation and Genetic Variation
    • Disruptions in genes (mutations) change phenotypes
    • Mutations can be +/-/neutral based on their effects that are conferred by the protein formed - environmental context
    • Errors in DNA replication or repair as well as external factors such as radiation or chemical exposure cause them
    • Mutations are the primary source of genetic variation
    • Horizontal acquisition in prokaryotes - transformation (uptake of naked DNA), transduction (viral DNA transmission), conjugation (cell-cell DNA transfer), and transposition (DNA moved within/between molecules) - increase variation
    • Related viruses can (re)combine genetic material in the same host cell
    • Types of mutations: frameshift, deletion, insertion
  • Genetic Engineering
    • Electrophoresis separates molecules by size and charge
    • PCR magnifies DNA fragments
    • Bacterial transformation introduces DNA into bacterial cells
  • Operons
    • Almost always prokaryotic
    • Promoter region has operator in it
    • Structural genes follow promoter
    • Terminator ends operon
    • Regulatory protein is active repressor
    • Active repressor can be inactivated
    • Enhancer: remote gene that require activators
    • RNAi: interference with miRNA
    • Anabolic pathways are normally on and catabolic pathways are normally off

Calculations

  • Transformation efficiency (colonies/DNA)
  • Numbers of base pairs (fragment lengths)
  • Cutting enzymes in a plasmid or something (finding the lengths of each section)

Labs

  • Gel Electrophoresis Lab
    • Phosphates in DNA make it negative (even though it’s an acid!), so it moves to positive terminal on the board
    • Smaller DNA is quicc, compare it to a standard to calculate approx. lengths
  • Bacterial Transformation Lab
    • Purpose of sugar: arabinose is a promoter which controls the GFP in transformed cells, turns it on, also green under UV
    • Purpose of flipping upside down: condensation forms but doesn’t drip down
    • Purpose of heat shock: increases bacterial uptake of foreign DNA
    • Plasmids have GFP (green fluorescent protein) and ampicillin resistance genes
    • Calcium solution puts holes in bacteria to allow for uptake of plasmids
  • PCR Lab
    • DNA + primers + nucleotides + DNA polymerase in a specialized PCR tube in a thermal cycler
    • Primers bind to DNA before it can repair itself, DNA polymerase binds to the primers and begins replication
    • After 30 cycles, there are billions of target sequences

Relevant Experiments

  • Avery: harmful + harmless bacteria in mice, experimented with proteins vs DNA of bacteria
  • Griffith: Avery’s w/o DNA vs protein
  • Hershey and Chase: radioactively labeled DNA and protein
  • Melson and Stahl: isotopic nitrogen in bacteria, looked for cons/semi/dispersive DNA
  • Beadle and Tatum: changed medium’s amino acid components to find that a metabolic pathway was responsible for turning specific proteins into other proteins, “one gene one enzyme”
  • Nirenberg: discovered codon table

7) Natural Selection

  • Scientific Theory: no refuting evidence (observation + experimentation), time, explain a brand/extensive range of phenomena
  • Theory of Natural Selection
    • Definition
      • Not all offspring (in a population) will survive
      • Variation among individuals in a population
      • Some variations were more favourable than others in a particular environment
      • Those with more favourable variations were more likely to survive and reproduce.
      • These favourable variations were passed on and increased in frequency over time.
  • Types of Selection:
    • Directional selection: one phenotype favored at one of the extremes of the normal distribution
      • ”Weeds out” one phenotype
      • Ony can happen if a favored allele is already present
    • Stabilizing Selection: Organisms within a population are eliminated with extreme traits
      • Favors “average” or medium traits
      • Ex. big head causes a difficult delivery; small had causes health deficits
    • Disruptive Selection: favors both extremes and selects against common traits
      • Ex. sexual selection (seems like directional but it’s not because it only affects one sex, if graph is only males then directional)
  • Competition for limited resources results in differential survival, favourable phenotypes are more likely to survive and produce more offspring, thus passing traits to subsequent generations.
    • Biotic and abiotic environments can be more or less stable/fluctuating, and this affects the rate and direction of evolution
      • Convergent evolution occurs when similar selective pressures result in similar phenotypic adaptations in different populations or species.
      • Divergent evolution: groups from common ancestor evolve, homology
      • Different genetic variations can be selected in each generation.
      • Environments change and apply selective pressures to populations.
    • Evolutionary fitness is measured by reproductive success.
    • Natural selection acts on phenotypic variations in populations.
      • Some phenotypic variations significantly increase or decrease the fitness of the organism in particular environments.
    • Through artificial selection, humans affect variation in other species.
      • Humans choose to cause artificial selection with specific traits, accidental selection caused by humans is not artificial
    • Random occurrences
      • Mutation
      • Genetic drift - change in existing allele frequency
      • Migration
    • Reduction of genetic variation within a given population can increase the differences between populations of the same species.
    • Conditions for a population or an allele to be in Hardy-Weinberg equilibrium are
      • Large population size
      • Absence of migration
      • No net mutations
      • Random mating
      • Absence of selection
    • Changes in allele frequencies provide evidence for the occurrence of evolution in a population.
    • Small populations are more susceptible to random environmental impact than large populations.
    • Gene flow: transference of genes/alleles between populations
  • Speciation: one species splits off into multiple species
    • Sympatric (living together i.e. disruption) Allopatric (physically separate, i.e. founder effect) Parapatric (habitats overlapping)
      • Polyploidy (autopolyploidy), sexual selection
    • Species: group of populations whose members can interbreed and produce healthy, fertile offspring but can’t breed with other species (ex. a horse and donkey can produce a mule but a mule is nonviable, so it doesn’t qualify)
      • Morphological definition: body shape and structural characteristics define a species
      • Ecological species definition: way populations interact with their environments define a species
      • Phylogenetic species definition: smallest group that shares a common ancestor is a species
    • Prezygotic barriers: barriers to reproduction before zygote is formed
      • Geographical error: two organisms are in different areas
      • Behavioural error (i.e. mating rituals aren’t the same)
      • Mechanical error: “the pieces don’t fit together”
      • Temporal error (i.e. one organism comes out at night while the other comes out in the day)
      • Zygotic/Gametic isolation: sperm and egg don’t physically meet
    • Postzygotic barriers: barriers to reproduction after zygote is formed
      • Hybrid viability: developmental errors of offspring
      • Hybrid fertility: organism is sterilized
      • Hybrid breakdown: offspring over generations aren’t healthy
    • Hybrid zone: region in which members of different species meet and mate
      • Reinforcement: hybrids less fit than parents, die off, strength prezygotic barriers
      • Fusion: two species may merge into one population
      • Stability: stable hybrid zones mean hybrids are more fit than parents, thus creating a stable population, but can be selected against in hybrid zones as well
    • Punctuated equilibria: long periods of no or little change evolutionarily punctuated by short periods of large change, gradualism is just slow evolution
    • Evidence of evolution
      • Paleontology (Fossils)
      • Comparative Anatomy
      • Embryology: embryos look the same as they grow
      • Biogeography: distribution of flora and fauna in the environment (pangea!)
      • Biochemical: DNA and proteins and stuff, also glycolysis
    • Phylogenetic trees
      • Monophyletic: common ancestor and all descendants
      • Polyphyletic: descendants with different ancestors
      • Paraphyletic: leaving specifies out of group
    • Out group: basal taxon, doesn’t have traits others do
    • Cline: graded variation within species (i.e. different stem heights based on altitude)
    • Anagenesis: one species turning into another species
    • Cladogenesis: one species turning into multiple species
    • Taxon: classification/grouping
    • Clade: group of species with common ancestor
    • Horizontal gene transfer: genes thrown between bacteria
    • Shared derived characters: unique to specific group
    • Shared primitive/ancestral characters: not unique to a specific group but is shared within group
  • Origins of life
    • Stages
      • Inorganic formation of organic monomers (miller-urey experiment)
      • Inorganic formation of organic polymers (catalytic surfaces like hot rock or sand)
      • Protobionts and compartmentalization (liposomes, micelles)
      • DNA evolution (RNA functions as enzyme)
    • Shared evolutionary characteristics across all domains
      • Membranes
      • Cell comm.
      • Gene to protein
      • DNA
      • Proteins
    • Extant = not extinct
    • Highly conserved genes = low rates of mutation in history due to criticalness (like electron transport chain)
    • Molecular clock: dating evolution using DNA evidence
    • Extinction causes niches for species to fill
    • Eukaryotes all have common ancestor (shown by membrane-bound organelles, linear chromosomes, and introns)

Calculations

  • Hardy-Weinberg
    • p + q = 1
    • p^2 + 2pq +q^2 = 1
  • Chi Squared

Labs

  • Artificial Selection Lab
    • Trichrome trait hairs
    • Anthocyanin for second trait (purple stems)
    • Function of the purple pigment?
    • Function of trichome hairs?
  • BLAST Lab
    • Putting nucleotides into a database outputs similar genes

Relevant Experiments

  • Darwin
  • Lamarck
  • Miller-Urey
    • Slapped some water, methane, ammonia, and hydrogen is some flasks and simulated early earth with heat and stuff and it made some amino acids.
submitted by valiantseal to u/valiantseal [link] [comments]


2020.06.14 00:34 lululi_lululi As everyone slowly going back to work and having to wear masks hours on end, more and more people are seeing pimples popping up on their chins. Here is a summary of the ins and outs of chin acne after my research.

As said in the title, I've read a bunch of academic papers on this topic and made a blog explaining in detail about pimples on the chin: what are they, their causes and treatments. (long post alert! LOL) This is originally posted at https://glowism.com/blog/pimples-on-the-chin. Pasting the content here for the convenience of mobile users:
What are they?
Pimples keep popping up on the chin and jawline? Before going into battle, we need to understand what we're dealing with. Several different underlying conditions could all lead to breakouts like this.
1. Ingrown Hair Ingrown hair is a common condition where hair grows back into skin as a result of hair removal (e.g. ingrown hair on the chin caused by shaving beard). It develops inflamed red bumps like pimples but could be distinguished by the embedded hair. Ingrown hair normally improves without treatment, however, skincare tips for acne below would also be applicable to treat its symptoms.
2. Rosacea One subtype of rosacea is also associated with acne-like breakouts: if you have many small, red, pus-filled bumps like pimples on your chin, it could be rosacea. However, rosacea typically affects the skin on the nose, cheek, and forehead. Diagnosis and treatment for rosacea would require talking with your dermatologist.
3. Acne Acne is normally caused by pores getting blocked by overproduction from the glands secreting oil (aka sebaceous glands) which leads to bacteria buildup and inflammation. The chin area has a high concentration of sebaceous glands and also poor skin barrier to stop the penetration of inflammatory substances. This combination makes it the perfect area for pimples growth.
Types of blemishes
Chin acne could be any kind of the following or a mix of them:
1. Comedones: both open comedones ( blackheads) and closed someone's ( whiteheads). This type of acne is non-inflammatory and the least severe.
2. Papules: small, raised, red bumps that occur due to the inflammation or infection of the hair follicles.
3. Pustules: small and red pus-filled pimples.
4. Cysts: large lumps, which are present under the skin. They contain pus and may be painful and tender to the touch.
Causes for pimples on the chin
1. Hormones Though pimples on the chin could be from any other common acne causes, they are one of the most prominent signs for hormonal adult acne. The activity of the sebaceous glands depends on the estrogen/androgen (female hormones / male hormones) ratio and a lot of other hormones. Hormone fluctuations could cause the sebaceous glands to enlarge and make more sebum ( oil). Continuous breakouts can appear for some people during:
2. Stress Recent studies show that sleep deprivation associated with women's modern lifestyle and stress may also be an aggravating factor for acne, affecting more than 50% of the women in studies. Stress stimulates the release of pro-inflammatory substances, leading to increased levels of cortisol (your body's main stress hormone), which further promotes acne.
3. Medication Several hormonal medications may cause or aggravate acne. Synthetic male hormones taken by athletes and body-builders to increase muscle bulk could also lead to severe acne in some cases. A variety of other medications which affect the immune system, stimulate insulin, or directly affect hair follicle could also lead to acne.
4. Diet Though It is very difficult to study the role of diet and acne, there is growing evidence that what we eat may influence the incidence and severity of acne:
5. Smoking Studies show that tobacco is the main factor responsible for the appearance of non-inflammatory acne (comedones) for adult females. Sebaceous glands are sensitive to acetylcholine (a chemical message released by nerve cells) that is stimulated by nicotine, influencing sebum production and oxidation and increasing pore blockages.
6. Environment Environmental factors like high humidity causing swelling of the skin and pressure from chin straps causing skin irritation would also cause or aggravate acne. That's why we've seen an increase of pimples on the chin when masks became mandatory during the pandemic.
How to get rid of pimples on the chin?
Over-the-Counter (OTC) Treatment If the pimples on your chin are mild to moderate or periodic breakouts, you could try to treat them with some OTC products containing acne targeting ingredients, like the following:
These ingredients work in different ways to treat acne and every person might react differently to them. You will have to experiment with different combinations to find what works for you. It is important to start with lower strength and lower frequency and always patch test.
Prescription Treatment If your pimples are moderate to severe acne or you don't see improvement after two or three months of home treatment, consider seeing your doctor or dermatologist for a prescription treatment.
Topical treatments with OTC active ingredients are recommended during your prescription treatments for the aforementioned reasons. They're also important post-prescription treatment as maintenance to avoid relapse. It's common to relapse after discontinuation of antibiotics treatment. On average, relapse rates following isotretinoin (oral retinoids) treatment can vary between 21 and 30 percent according to studies.
Other Tips
Reference
https://www.tuftsmedicalcenter.org/news-events-media/news/web/womens-health/acne-at-30 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1468-2494.2010.00610.x https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6360964/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6715335/ https://www.dermnetnz.org/topics/what-causes-acne/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/acne/in-depth/acne-products/art-20045814
submitted by lululi_lululi to 30PlusSkinCare [link] [comments]


2020.06.14 00:33 lululi_lululi As everyone slowly going back to work and having to wear masks hours on end, more and more people are seeing pimples popping up on their chins. Here is a summary of the ins and outs of chin acne after my research.

As said in the title, I've read a bunch of academic papers on this topic and made a blog explaining in detail about pimples on the chin: what are they, their causes and treatments. (long post alert! LOL) This is originally posted at https://glowism.com/blog/pimples-on-the-chin. Pasting the content here for the convenience of mobile users:
What are they?
Pimples keep popping up on the chin and jawline? Before going into battle, we need to understand what we're dealing with. Several different underlying conditions could all lead to breakouts like this.
1. Ingrown Hair Ingrown hair is a common condition where hair grows back into skin as a result of hair removal (e.g. ingrown hair on the chin caused by shaving beard). It develops inflamed red bumps like pimples but could be distinguished by the embedded hair. Ingrown hair normally improves without treatment, however, skincare tips for acne below would also be applicable to treat its symptoms.
2. Rosacea One subtype of rosacea is also associated with acne-like breakouts: if you have many small, red, pus-filled bumps like pimples on your chin, it could be rosacea. However, rosacea typically affects the skin on the nose, cheek, and forehead. Diagnosis and treatment for rosacea would require talking with your dermatologist.
3. Acne Acne is normally caused by pores getting blocked by overproduction from the glands secreting oil (aka sebaceous glands) which leads to bacteria buildup and inflammation. The chin area has a high concentration of sebaceous glands and also poor skin barrier to stop the penetration of inflammatory substances. This combination makes it the perfect area for pimples growth.
Types of blemishes
Chin acne could be any kind of the following or a mix of them:
1. Comedones: both open comedones ( blackheads) and closed someone's ( whiteheads). This type of acne is non-inflammatory and the least severe.
2. Papules: small, raised, red bumps that occur due to the inflammation or infection of the hair follicles.
3. Pustules: small and red pus-filled pimples.
4. Cysts: large lumps, which are present under the skin. They contain pus and may be painful and tender to the touch.
Causes for pimples on the chin
1. Hormones Though pimples on the chin could be from any other common acne causes, they are one of the most prominent signs for hormonal adult acne. The activity of the sebaceous glands depends on the estrogen/androgen (female hormones / male hormones) ratio and a lot of other hormones. Hormone fluctuations could cause the sebaceous glands to enlarge and make more sebum ( oil). Continuous breakouts can appear for some people during:
2. Stress Recent studies show that sleep deprivation associated with women's modern lifestyle and stress may also be an aggravating factor for acne, affecting more than 50% of the women in studies. Stress stimulates the release of pro-inflammatory substances, leading to increased levels of cortisol (your body's main stress hormone), which further promotes acne.
3. Medication Several hormonal medications may cause or aggravate acne. Synthetic male hormones taken by athletes and body-builders to increase muscle bulk could also lead to severe acne in some cases. A variety of other medications which affect the immune system, stimulate insulin, or directly affect hair follicle could also lead to acne.
4. Diet Though It is very difficult to study the role of diet and acne, there is growing evidence that what we eat may influence the incidence and severity of acne:
5. Smoking Studies show that tobacco is the main factor responsible for the appearance of non-inflammatory acne (comedones) for adult females. Sebaceous glands are sensitive to acetylcholine (a chemical message released by nerve cells) that is stimulated by nicotine, influencing sebum production and oxidation and increasing pore blockages.
6. Environment Environmental factors like high humidity causing swelling of the skin and pressure from chin straps causing skin irritation would also cause or aggravate acne. That's why we've seen an increase of pimples on the chin when masks became mandatory during the pandemic.
How to get rid of pimples on the chin?
Over-the-Counter (OTC) Treatment If the pimples on your chin are mild to moderate or periodic breakouts, you could try to treat them with some OTC products containing acne targeting ingredients, like the following:
These ingredients work in different ways to treat acne and every person might react differently to them. You will have to experiment with different combinations to find what works for you. It is important to start with lower strength and lower frequency and always patch test.
Prescription Treatment If your pimples are moderate to severe acne or you don't see improvement after two or three months of home treatment, consider seeing your doctor or dermatologist for a prescription treatment.
Topical treatments with OTC active ingredients are recommended during your prescription treatments for the aforementioned reasons. They're also important post-prescription treatment as maintenance to avoid relapse. It's common to relapse after discontinuation of antibiotics treatment. On average, relapse rates following isotretinoin (oral retinoids) treatment can vary between 21 and 30 percent according to studies.
Other Tips
Reference
https://www.tuftsmedicalcenter.org/news-events-media/news/web/womens-health/acne-at-30 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1468-2494.2010.00610.x https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6360964/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6715335/ https://www.dermnetnz.org/topics/what-causes-acne/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/acne/in-depth/acne-products/art-20045814
submitted by lululi_lululi to SkincareAddicts [link] [comments]


2020.06.14 00:32 lululi_lululi As everyone slowly going back to work and having to wear masks hours on end, more and more people are seeing pimples popping up on their chins. Here is a summary of the ins and outs of chin acne after my research.

As said in the title, I've read a bunch of academic papers on this topic and made a blog explaining in detail about pimples on the chin: what are they, their causes and treatments. (long post alert! LOL) This is originally posted at https://glowism.com/blog/pimples-on-the-chin. Pasting the content here for the convenience of mobile users:
What are they?
Pimples keep popping up on the chin and jawline? Before going into battle, we need to understand what we're dealing with. Several different underlying conditions could all lead to breakouts like this.
1. Ingrown Hair Ingrown hair is a common condition where hair grows back into skin as a result of hair removal (e.g. ingrown hair on the chin caused by shaving beard). It develops inflamed red bumps like pimples but could be distinguished by the embedded hair. Ingrown hair normally improves without treatment, however, skincare tips for acne below would also be applicable to treat its symptoms.
2. Rosacea One subtype of rosacea is also associated with acne-like breakouts: if you have many small, red, pus-filled bumps like pimples on your chin, it could be rosacea. However, rosacea typically affects the skin on the nose, cheek, and forehead. Diagnosis and treatment for rosacea would require talking with your dermatologist.
3. Acne Acne is normally caused by pores getting blocked by overproduction from the glands secreting oil (aka sebaceous glands) which leads to bacteria buildup and inflammation. The chin area has a high concentration of sebaceous glands and also poor skin barrier to stop the penetration of inflammatory substances. This combination makes it the perfect area for pimples growth.
Types of blemishes
Chin acne could be any kind of the following or a mix of them:
1. Comedones: both open comedones ( blackheads) and closed someone's ( whiteheads). This type of acne is non-inflammatory and the least severe.
2. Papules: small, raised, red bumps that occur due to the inflammation or infection of the hair follicles.
3. Pustules: small and red pus-filled pimples.
4. Cysts: large lumps, which are present under the skin. They contain pus and may be painful and tender to the touch.
Causes for pimples on the chin
1. Hormones Though pimples on the chin could be from any other common acne causes, they are one of the most prominent signs for hormonal adult acne. The activity of the sebaceous glands depends on the estrogen/androgen (female hormones / male hormones) ratio and a lot of other hormones. Hormone fluctuations could cause the sebaceous glands to enlarge and make more sebum ( oil). Continuous breakouts can appear for some people during:
2. Stress Recent studies show that sleep deprivation associated with women's modern lifestyle and stress may also be an aggravating factor for acne, affecting more than 50% of the women in studies. Stress stimulates the release of pro-inflammatory substances, leading to increased levels of cortisol (your body's main stress hormone), which further promotes acne.
3. Medication Several hormonal medications may cause or aggravate acne. Synthetic male hormones taken by athletes and body-builders to increase muscle bulk could also lead to severe acne in some cases. A variety of other medications which affect the immune system, stimulate insulin, or directly affect hair follicle could also lead to acne.
4. Diet Though It is very difficult to study the role of diet and acne, there is growing evidence that what we eat may influence the incidence and severity of acne:
5. Smoking Studies show that tobacco is the main factor responsible for the appearance of non-inflammatory acne (comedones) for adult females. Sebaceous glands are sensitive to acetylcholine (a chemical message released by nerve cells) that is stimulated by nicotine, influencing sebum production and oxidation and increasing pore blockages.
6. Environment Environmental factors like high humidity causing swelling of the skin and pressure from chin straps causing skin irritation would also cause or aggravate acne. That's why we've seen an increase of pimples on the chin when masks became mandatory during the pandemic.
How to get rid of pimples on the chin?
Over-the-Counter (OTC) Treatment If the pimples on your chin are mild to moderate or periodic breakouts, you could try to treat them with some OTC products containing acne targeting ingredients, like the following:
These ingredients work in different ways to treat acne and every person might react differently to them. You will have to experiment with different combinations to find what works for you. It is important to start with lower strength and lower frequency and always patch test.
Prescription Treatment If your pimples are moderate to severe acne or you don't see improvement after two or three months of home treatment, consider seeing your doctor or dermatologist for a prescription treatment.
Topical treatments with OTC active ingredients are recommended during your prescription treatments for the aforementioned reasons. They're also important post-prescription treatment as maintenance to avoid relapse. It's common to relapse after discontinuation of antibiotics treatment. On average, relapse rates following isotretinoin (oral retinoids) treatment can vary between 21 and 30 percent according to studies.
Other Tips
Reference
https://www.tuftsmedicalcenter.org/news-events-media/news/web/womens-health/acne-at-30 https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1468-2494.2010.00610.x https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6360964/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6715335/ https://www.dermnetnz.org/topics/what-causes-acne/ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/acne/in-depth/acne-products/art-20045814
submitted by lululi_lululi to Skincare_Addiction [link] [comments]


2020.06.10 22:43 highAF94 Don't take more than 200mg in 3 months never here is why

I noticed one thing among harsh mdma users, people who don't give a shit and takes 5 pills a night
Not waiting 3 months etc.
They are aggressive when sober. And I am not talking about the comedown.
4 months ago I unfortunately Oded mdma. 400mg ~ pure + 2 pills (which I believe pma). It was absolute Hell. Serotonin syndrome. I'm 55kg 5percent lipid body ratio. Pretty much bones and lean + organs lol.
Whatever the experience turned into hell. My vision became short sighted like a frog eye effect. I got really agitated. It was bad trip. My brain was poisoned. Lal because of too much serotonin. Not too much mdma itself but sure too much mdma itself definitely damages.
I had alpha lupoic acid.
This event hurt my short term memory. I forgot to type words when typing online. Comedown lasted 3 weeks horrible depression feeling. 5htp was helping but only for 3 hours.
Whatever I feel better now in memory etc. But sure there is some brain damage.
So guys today I had a verbal fight (argument) with my parents. They are so ignorant. I have my every right to be mad but I was never this aggressive to them.
Sure I'm unemployed for the last 10 months since I'm graduated. Plus lockdown but no. I have been rambling on them because of their ill political views (hypocrisy + ignorant)
My dad is pretty much narcissist and depressed. He made my childhood miserable. Now he is expecting me to be nice to him? Lol
Whatever he is old and I am not supposed to do this.
When I wake up I am very grumpy. I avoid any human contact at home when wake up. After 1 or 2 hours later I feel OK. Idk what happens but every morning is like a comedown to me. Maybe it's about adhd or my past with the home. So many negative memories and my nay sayers ignorant parents
I feel very relieved when I am any where but home.
I can't hug my dad. I don't think I love him anymore.
It's very sad. I have a behavior, when people bother me too much or do sth to hurt me with intentions, I delete them from my life. It happens in 1 second. It's never same with them again. I say this OK fuck you. And it's all over. No grudge no feelings. It's a very bad thing because I lose so many people.
Now I did some mdma. 1st one is what pulled me out form 8 year of on going depression and so many childhood abuse and trauma. Also I found my soul.
I love mdma but I today I lost it. And I know so many assholes who does mdma and very toxic people. I am afraid to become one of them. Rude, impolite, aggressive and angry assholes. I think mdma abuse does this to people.
Even though I never abused mdma in my past (except the last disaster), I realised this (erden before that event), when my gf makes me mad, she is at her home I'm at my home, in my room. I crush my smartphone to the desk. Out of anger.
I remember 1.5 years ago when my number of experience with mdma was 1, even then when she made me mad I would crash my phone.
Maybe we'd made it. I quit weed long ago tho.
Or maybe this was my ego without the depression? Because my last 8 years (16 to 23) was in dark self hated depression. I literally didn't have my childhood times. I was never a kid... Such a shame.
My childhood sucked too. Then I realised I am a troubled person. It years lots of time to realise this.
That you are one of them.
And taking E pills have such a bad reputation here. Mostly it's true because most people who take them aren't like this sub. They are street gangsters, people who rape people or wants to. You know the type? Mostly male. Hater fuckers.
Mdma doesn't make them nice. Because they always take it whatever.
So that bias toward Extc is very accurate for the most of it. Of course my circle is very different. Beci went to a private collage vs. Whatever. These things really matter here. Most people are junk and haters.
So it's not the drug but the population who takes it.
Now I'm an XTC taker too. And almost died last time I did because of shitty pma pills and too much mdma.
I have my own problems. I am aware of them.
I don't know. I should study programming and get a job but I never had motivation (even before any drugs). My adhd is very huge. Even with mdma I get very functional, same with high dose mushrooms( tho in peak I am not very functional lol)
So that's it. I become an aggressive person. Even tho what I defend is womens right, anti rape, rights of workers, anti corruption and all that, I become aggressive.
We have so much hate in this country boosted by the president. Many people lost their jobs. Economy sucked even before the virus. Now its dead. Wonder when we will crash and go bankrupt.
We have democracy. Now it will be gone too.
I was always anti protestor. But I think I will protest even tho it can be the end for me. I don't want to live like a scared dog anymore.
It's always black and white with me. Either a coward or a hero.
Sorry for my rant. I really hope I can find a job in Europe where the decency is much better.
I have been pretending to love my gf over 1.5 years. She is the last person to deserve it. I was so stupid, when it began I was on weed and I didn't think it thru. Weed makes me very stupid, like low iq.
Ahhhh shit I am attached to her but keep hurting her emotionally. Just because she is still a kid! (22) I mean she is immature and clingy and childish and I'm 25, always into mature people. I can't stand her. But it's normal for her age. I am the anormal one. Life made me matured too quick.
I can never fit any where. I don't know really...
I started dating because of my insecurities.
It was my life and mostly my very shitty childhood made me like this. This is my changed version, I'm self aware.
Ahh. My Spirtiual awakening is so lost. Maybe I should really fuck off from home, maybe its all this place taking my energy,
Maybe it's high time I leave. But I don't own a jock
Pray for me
Oh, my gf. She is very cute innocent and naive. She will be so hurt :(
I told her most about me but she still doesn't know about mdma.
I don't know. She doesn't deserve it but she has her own problems and she is so attached with me. Actually I love her. But I don't want to fuck her.
We don't have anything in common, and it seems we have 1 or 2 St deviation of IQ difference.
I feel lost. I hope my mdma use didn't make me aggressive. Because lots of people I know are aggressive af and uses mdma like its coke.
Have a good day
submitted by highAF94 to MDMA [link] [comments]


The 'Alpha Male' Epidemic - YouTube Angry Phil - alpha male syndrome - YouTube How To STOP Being The 'NICE GUY'! (10 Alpha Male ... Why I hate typical 'How to be an Alpha Male' videos - YouTube

The Alpha Male Syndrome - Synopsis - Worth Ethic

  1. The 'Alpha Male' Epidemic - YouTube
  2. Angry Phil - alpha male syndrome - YouTube
  3. How To STOP Being The 'NICE GUY'! (10 Alpha Male ...
  4. Why I hate typical 'How to be an Alpha Male' videos - YouTube
  5. FEARLESS + BETA MALE SYNDROME - YouTube

Subliminal Affirmations to transform you from a hopeless beta male to a powerful alpha male. Men are obsessed with talking about alpha males and beta males. So much so, that they've turned it into something laughable. Today I talk about why so many c... Learn more about cultivating a true Alpha mindset: https://practicalpie.com/psychology-of-beliefs/ --- Invest in yourself --- ️ Psychology of Attraction: ht... Join the Club for only $5 http://www.dollarshaveclub.com/alpha Thanks to our sponsor Dollar Shave Club, new members get their 1st month of the Daily Essentia... When Phil wants to be the Alpha-male. this is what he looks like grumpy. Note he pauses for food though :)