Personals dating sites

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Online dating

2012.08.26 21:29 Nataliya77 Online dating

Dating is a community for sinles, who want to meet their love partner and be happy together. Especially, if you are looking for your bride or groom abroad, for example in Russia, Ukraine or other FSU country.
[link]


2019.06.29 03:56 stargazing_dolphins Karezza Personals: Meet people interested in pursuing a karezza relationship

karezzapersonals: Meet people interested in pursuing a karezza relationship
[link]


2020.09.24 12:46 ivefeels_imnotarobot Ghosted after 6 months by a popular social media influencer

Just wanted to preface by saying that we weren't in a relationship but I'm me and I get attached easilyand before you say it's a catfish, she sent live videos with her face saying my name and talking about the current topic of the chat, so yeah she was real (I think).
Ok so I've been talking to this girl for 6-7 months pretty much all day every day. From waking up to going to sleep. She would mostly be the person to initiate chats in the early morning or whenever we take a break for whatever reason so of course I took that as a strong sign of interest.
We'd actually been talking about meeting up and since we're in different countries I had to wait until it was relatively safe to go to her country but nothing she said ever hinted at a "I don't want you to come". So I asked when she was free, gave her a couple of dates I could come and we chose one for exactly one month in the future.
We keep talking normally and it's about 2 days till I get on the plane. We don't talk much but that's okay, we don't have to talk a lot everyday. This has happened before so no big deal.1 day remaining she says she's quite stressed that's why she hasn't been responsive...I agree she has a stressful job (she actually lied about the job she had) and made a joke. No response the rest of the night, so before I go to bed I say I'll see her later just to give her a break from needing to maintain constant contact with me.Next day is normal and I have to be at the airport pretty early so I didn't text her (she would usually text me good morning after prolonged no contact like this to let me know she's alright). No text in the morning.
Honestly from this point on I was just just HYPED to meet her and ignored any red flags I saw. Still no texts at this point. So I get on the plane with my big bag of hope...land in the country, check my phone, no texts. I'm getting worried at this point cos she's be hospitalised before and text her is she okay. No response.I go to my hotel, waiting for her to text and I could just feel all my friends laughing at how stupid I was to do this. I didn't even sleep that night. Good thing I was only meant to stay for one night. She didn't text me or answer my calls and I'm still confused. I get home and realised "huh, I've been ghosted". I get verrrrrry sad since I really liked this girl and I thought she liked me too. She gave relationship vibes tbh. I was silly to think it was real over text but it was just a mess for me to think about it all.
Of course I know I'm not supposed to text my ghoster after the ghosting but I'm stupid. I sent a bunch of sad texts telling her I miss her and why couldn't she just talk to me especially since I kept asking her for confirmation that it was okay and she's confided in me before when she felt bad.
In my sad boi hours, in my quest to find answers, I started googling everything about her. Turns out she gave me a fake name, fake job and some of the things she told me were just straight up lies. It turned out to be the private account of a really popular tiktoker. I knew she didn't like me calling her rich but damn this was next level. I'm proud of my skills but I wish I never found out because now I can just get a hit of her on the internet whenever I'm feeling sad about her lol.
Anyway I go back to the app I met her from, search for her name and boom I found another guy who was ghosted after 1 month of exactly the same situation. Their thing started and ended during the time she was talking to me. Talking about going to each other's countries and stuff. She ghosted him I think because he found out about her but I have no idea why she ghosted me.
So yeah that is the story of how I got ghosted. I'm still pretty frustrated/confused/sad if I'm honest and I can't even go outside to do anything that I usually do to let it out cos CORONA but my mental state is a lot better than it was a few days ago when I first found out. Part of me is hoping she messages back and explains but I have to accept I'll probably never know (this is after my biiiig anger phase of sending texts on several social media sites to her main account announcing that I know who she is...Nope not a good look at all)
EDIT: Oh yes the red flags that I should've noticed + Told me she wasn't good with confrontation and she just disappears instead of facing it - this was in response to me asking how she felt about me and if she was serious about meeting up. + Disappears for a bit or changes topic when I talk about which dates I could come + Makes stuff sexual but then pretends she didn't notice when I say I will do it when we meet up
TL;DR Got ghosted by a girl I thought was cool as hell days before our plans to meet up in her country. I got angry and did some research where I found out she was a popular TikTokeYoutubeInstagramer and found out she did the same to another dude.
submitted by ivefeels_imnotarobot to ghosting [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 09:45 Landelande Part 2 after my twenties - the healing

Alright, this is what happened after my twenties with my narc traits. . . . Mom and dad divorced. I didnt have to worry of mom being safe. I could be me and do me. I started to do yoga and meditate and read psychology, because in my fantazy I was like the most zen in the world. Well, for long it was this fake, fake, fake I am the zen, tell everyone who has a problem to meditate, while I was still avoiding the anxious side of myself. Avoiding the daaarkness.
Then I started dating, first time in two years. Woo, what a pause in dating ;). Well I was terrified if it was going to go the same way as relationships before because I was very ashamed of myself. Well yes it did go the same way! I couldnt help ugly emotions surfacing every day, fighting every day, losing my sense of self every day. I had this fantazy in my head every day I woke up, about how a relationship should look like. And when it looked different every day, I couldnt understand and I got anxious and fought. I also had a fantasy about how I am, and also that looked different in reality.
Interesting trait I experienced also was that I always said to myself in my head my whole life about my one month past self "thats not me. That is someone else. I wasnt like that." So I was never in the now, looking at the now. I was always ashamed of the past version of me or always fantazising about the future "ah yes the most beautiful and best".
Then I read this book from a psychoterapist Matt Scott Peck, and I learned to listen to my unconsciousness voice (he thinks the unconscousness is the intelligent one, the voice we dont listen, but the one we should listen. ) This was the thing that really was the only thing I needed to get better. Because all the nasty crazy things I was experiencing, I could always listen to that one. It guided me in every step of the way up there for three years. (PSYCHOANALYSIS uses this technique that brings the unconsciousness to awareness: say the thing you least want to say, out loud to your therapist/yourself.)
Three years of intense purification of emotions I had hidden, of shame, of worthlessness, of severe dissociation from my body, and how at the core of myself I found shame and powerlessness. Me? Powerless? That was crazy to see. Black and white thinking about myself and others "if i cry Im bad, if he lies he's bad".
And I started to notice the difference between reality and fantasy. And I noticed every little big thing, one by one. And I dissolved them, one by one. Like intense therapy.
I googled everything. I read everything. I went to therapy in small quantities. I used personality disorders and names to identify qualities in myself to heal myself. I believe personality disorders and mental health issues are not so box like as they have been thought to be, but they really do overlap a lot, and the names people have given these traits are just to help identify the problems and how to help the people. I used a six month period medication for anxiety that really helped me to see the thought patterns and emotions under the murdering anxiety. And after I stopped using them, my anxiety had been resolved. Out of pain. I have found in myself narcisstic traits, bpd traits, anxiety disorder, cptsd and complex dissociation traits. My body was aching from anxiety and I had dissociated myself from this world. I have gone deeper and into smaller things and I see I have run out of things to go through. Lately I have been just learning to live freely and to be satisfied and meditate - for real this time. :D
I feel as though I am done with the ego work for now.
I am living with 4 people, I am able to make friends and connections, and show my sad side if necessary. I live without anxiety. My narcisstic traits have cooled off and went away, except for the healthy amount that everyone needs. My black and white thinking have changed to unconditional love, which also I learned from Matt Scott Peck - love is work, love is a choice, not a feeling.
And I have learned compassion toward everyone, because everyone needs it. I have learned to have an active healthy life with no drugs no alcohol - I used those as a young girl.
So what I am saying is.. I dont know if I had just one disorder. I had split my mind in the traumatic side and the happy side. I dont know if I could have been helped by therapists because I always blew them off. I dont know if I have any right to comment here, on the NPD site after everything you know now about me. But I have been in ptsd groups and pbd, I was always welcome on those at least. But they all miss this quality of narcissism in the way that I had it, the way my dad and my granddad had it.
And I am just here looking for information and to connect, and to see if what I could learn from the npd community.
Thanks if you read the whole thang.
submitted by Landelande to NPD [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 09:12 lovelessfear Influencer BF and double standards

So I am a 21F and my BF is a 22M,to preface this with a few details to make you able to understand me and the situation better I am from washington I am rather shy always called the "grandma friend" and I grew up in a very traditional household and we met about 6 months ago through social media. He had 200 followers and had a super sweet poetry boy vibe (we will call him B) and I got goosebumps when I saw him and so I added him on snap and we immediately began talking. We snap chatted from morning until around 11pm then I asked to facetime and we talked for over 8 hours and by the morning I had bought a plane ticket to Illinois to meet him. I checked his account and he had already gained almost 10k new followers. We continued to talk all day everyday and we both just talked about how we are both not the kind of people who gain feelings fast and we were. He told me before I even bought the ticket that we would start as friends and I agreed because I was feeling things I had never felt before and had this feeling I had to be in his life in some way. I go there and it is immediately not just friends there is a huge phyiscal and emotional connection bur he is still on tinder and getting a lot of really explicit DM's because his Tiktok was growing massively and by 1 week of knowing each other he had 30k followers. I leave and we both cry at the airport and he sends me a message talking about how he thinks I am beyond kind and deserve the world and he wants to be ready for a relationship when he is visiting in a month. So we continue to talk but he goes from all day everyday to a little less everyday but his channel is growing with each day hitting 100k before even a month on social media and he would continously tell me how much he wanted to date me and I would be the perfect gf but he wasn't ready and then a week before he is supposed to leave he tells me he would rather be friends. I cry we talk all night and we decide he should still visit because we miss each other and we can be friends. WRONG. he visits and we act super couplely unless he is on a live and then he would say we were just friends while holding my hand underneath a blanket. he leaves and we decide that's where the romantic aspects end and we should just be friends. I cry he gets home and we talk every couple days and I start the process of moving on. of course like many girls I want to look my best after a breakup and set out on a little glowup. I lose 10 Ibs dye my hair blonde and look amazing and my confidence is so high. I start talking to a guy who was beyond nice and into me (we will call him C) but then B kept talking about how B want's to date me he just want's to be completely ready and I told him I cant wait anymore because it hurt too much. So I post a video on the social media site duetting a past video showing off my transformation since I started on the app and it got a lot of attention. C comments something sweet and B comments something replying to C's comment saying "told ya so <3" (he told me when he ended things I would find someone hotter and nicer). Then later that day B calls again saying he want's to date me and he really trusts me but how is long distance gonna work? I told him he either figures it out or he needs to let me go and we can just be friends. We hang up and then 20 minutes later B says... "well, what if I came and stayed with you for a long period of time" and I am like huh? and B called me and said I am ready I love you and I wanna make it work and I want you to be my gf. I am stunned and hesitant but I say I am gonna sleep on it and call my best friend, E, and she says you need to follow your heart so I call C and tell him everything that happened and he told me he really likes me and wants to be with me but will support me no matter what. So I decide I want to be with B. B and I start dating and his channel is growing and by 4 months he was over 300k and got a manager and a lot of sponsorships and got a OF (which I totally approved of, his body his choice) and was making some insane money. C and I were friends but B said that he didn't feel comfortable with the way we talked so I said no worries and while he did not ask me to unfriend C I thought it best to not talk very often if at all. Now we have been dating a few months he is almost to 400k and I have been not feeling super hot about myself because I gained a little weight. I love myself inside but it's just a little hard on the outside. B stayed at my apartment for 2 months until last week when we both knew he had to go home eventually. And when he was here I noticed he had been texting someone a lot so I asked who it was and it was a girl who had a bunch of followers (around 900k lets call her K) and he said she was asking for advice about getting a manager. And let me just say I am not a jealous person I try to be as unproblematic as possible and never had any issues with that. So he went home and then immediately began travelling for work again and has been a little distant. I leave him alone as much as possible so he can work and we just have a text in the morning and then a call at night. So before our call tonight I am browsing through the app and see a video of my BF's that was kinda scandalous (nbd just shirt off) but K comments a rather flirtaous comment and so I look at his profile a little and notice a few flirty comments. So we have our call tonight and he was a little upset and tired because he had a long day and messed up with some work details. After talking for a bit I mention asking if K knew he has a Gf. He says of course I have posted a picture with you (he was talking about a completely different app and no where in the photo does it say I am his GF) and I mention such details about the photo and hes like well I haven't mentioned it but we only ever talk about business. And I said well do you think you could somehow causually slide it into conversation because I saw a few flirty comments on his vids and honestly she is probs just unaware and its nbd. And he was like I am not going to not be friends with a girl just because she hits on me because it's work. and I slid by that for a second being like no I would never ask you to not be friends with someone as long as they recognize that you have a GF. But then I realize what he said and go wait wait wait. I know for a fact that if I had a guy hit on me you would not want me to talk to him but if a girl hits on you, you can still talk to her if she has a following? and he's like it's different because it's my living. And I said of course but if there were girls, no matter the following, that were completely disrespectful of you having a gf and were aware but hitting on you obviously I do think you would have to set some boundaries. and he agreed and then he just said he was super tired and had to go to bed. And I say ok and bye and he says bye without saying I love you or anything. I know it might seem small but it hurt me because that's the only time I get. Idk, am I just being insecure because I feel ugly right now? I completely will accept it if you guys say I am being ridiculous. Help.
submitted by lovelessfear to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 07:49 awkwardhag666 Going on 38ish hours awake and laughing at myself (venting post incoming)

I just sat in my bathroom, bouncing between laughing and crying because I'm going through a breakup, right? But it's hitting my ass HARD. The TLDR: I waited 6 months for this man to feel the same towards me, I finally got him. When I tell you I was infactuated with this man, I've never been so in love. But a year and a half later it ends. Admits he never loved me, only really liked me. Haha. On paper, we should've made the perfect couple. We were the classic case of the bestest friends, let's see what happens. What a fuckin joke. I knew I shouldn't have even got in the relationship because even I knew deep down it wouldn't work. But fuck, I loved him so fucking much. Really, the big thing was he absolutely hates cats. Like fucking despises them. My two cats have been locked in their own room the whole time I've lived here and that fucking hurt me on a whole other level, so why I even agreed, I don't know. Besides, I knew he would never feel the same for me, as I did him. But I'm all in.
Now, I'm trying to move out, right? But it's a fucking pandemic. Wait lists surround me for places to live. It's been 3 weeks since we broke up. He was quick to jump on the dating sites and he's already met someone on there who he's absolutely head over heels for. They haven't met in person yet, but I've already witnessed him do more for her than he ever did for me. I feel tortured. I'm showing happiness for him, because I really do love him and all I want is for him to be happy. But holy fuck does it hurt to hear him laughing and flirting with another woman on the phone in the next room over while I'm still cooking for both of us in the kitchen. We still act as best friends, but it's not the same as it was, never will be.
I understand people just don't work out sometimes. I do. But I feel like he came into the relationship with the mindset of "this isn't going to work" and I wasn't receiving the same effort back that I put in. I am exhausted. It's so painful watching him put so much effort into someone he's never met in person and has been talking to for 2 weeks.
Oh, and the kicker? We work at the same place haha.
Depression is bad, self harm is back, and a big binge is happening. I am not okay right now. Thanks for listening, skiiers. Feels good to get it out.
submitted by awkwardhag666 to cocaine [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 06:54 madeitfor1message I cheated and all i wish is i could take it back

Long story short ive been in a relationship with my SO for close to 3 years. There had always been ups and downs, when things were good it was cloud 9, when things were bad it felt like constant depression. We have broken up too many times to count. I love her so much and she helped me learn i do have 7/10 symptoms of BPD (explosive anger, mood swings, self destructive behavior, feelings there could be immediate abandonment, jealousy even if her male friends) She calls me hot and cold, but i dont try to push her away, its the opposite i would spend 24/7 with her. We got engaged and there was fighting, eventually after being engaged for 8-12 months we fought and agreed to get back together but just dating.
In my previous relationship i had spoken sexually with other women because I was unhappy. That relationship ended and i spent 4 years single swearing i would never make the same mistake in my next relationship. I started to check a dating site when things were going bad i would open it and 24 hours delete it, i never put up a photo of myself or any personal details that weren't a requirement (age, height, hair color, eye color etc). i did end up having sexual conversations with 2 women and light flirting with a few more. I had zero sexual contact with any women, and really I didn't even form an emotional connection.
Things finally started to work between us and things really felt like they would get back to our plan of being engaged. Another bump in the road and a fight happened and an unknown friend of hers hacked my phone, got all the dirt even if it was 6 months before all this. She found out and we talked about it and thought that we could still be together considering it had passed and things were better for us. She eventually reached out to this unknown person asking if there was more to send so he digged and either sent the rest or found more from before. She read it all in detail and it hurt her very very deeply. Her depression got worse and she tried to talk to a psychologist, but it had no effect.
She reached the point that being depressed and upset everytime she saw me and has now broken up with me 2 weeks ago. After breaking up we finally talked more in depth about everything, and i felt like we hadnt worked on the issues properly and together even though she tried to do it solo. I have been depressed, 100% emotional, trying to say and make myself and vulnerable as possible so she can see how i dont want things to end but she now has me blocked everywhere and wont even answer her door to talk to me. I wish i could take everything back but she wont accept my regret or apology or my long term goal to fix myself and never do this again.
submitted by madeitfor1message to BPD [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 06:41 StrangenessAfoot I Bought a Novelty Time Machine, Unfortunately, It Worked.

All of my life, I’ve heard people say we are heading into a new utopian age of progressive enlightenment, and while I really wanted to believe that to be true, with the things I have seen going on with the world, I’ve had to remain skeptical, but then I saw the future for myself. My glimpse of what’s to come and the experiences leading up to it started with my unexpected acquisition of a mundane item.
The magazine was hidden amongst the old paperbacks I had bought at a used bookstore. “Strange Things and Oddities” the cover proclaimed in bright, green font, with Oct. 97 printed underneath it. Behind the text, an alien creature stared back at me.
Grinning, I gave the magazine a quick flip through. “Where did this come from?” I wondered. I certainly didn’t recall seeing the cashier put the item in the box, and the thing was in immaculate condition for being twenty years old. I gave it another quick look, then tossed the periodical onto the coffee table before going about my business
Later that evening I was in a funk of boredom and nothing was helping, so I turned on the TV. I scanned through the channels trying to find something worth watching, but after a bit, I just turned it off, giving up. There wasn’t a damn thing worth watching on. I looked down at the coffee table and saw the magazine lying there, its bright, green title shining like a beacon. “Might as well see what was going on back in good ole’ 1997,” I said picking it up.
Over the next hour, I was enveloped in the paranormal world of two decades ago. One very interesting article involved the account of a woman’s sexual encounter with an alien. “Probably the one from the cover,” I said to myself smiling. There were many other interesting articles and columns, then when I got to the back, I found a classifieds section. It advertised a good variety of strange things such as voodoo dolls and psychic readings, but one ad, in particular, caught my eye.
“Travel through time,” said the headline. The listing informed me that for the low price of $30 USD, I could have my very own time travel device.
I don’t know what possessed me, but I went and got my checkbook. I wrote out a check for the amount, addressed and stamped an envelope, then sealed the check inside. I mailed it the next day and immediately forgot about it.
One afternoon about six weeks later, I came home from work to find a shoebox-sized package sitting at my door. I didn’t think I was expecting anything, and when I looked closer, I didn’t recognize the shipper’s address. I unlocked my door, picked up the box, and went inside.
I sat the box on the coffee table and sliced open the tape with a pair of scissors. Inside was a smaller box labeled Chrono Industries Model TTD005. Upon opening it, I found an instruction booklet and a small electronic device. Realization dawned, it was my time travel device.
I’ll admit, I never assumed to receive anything, but here it was. The device, which was roughly the size of a walkie talkie, had a full keyboard, LED display, and belt clip on the back. On the top of the TTD was a power switch and two buttons labeled start and recall respectively. For a time machine, the damn thing seemed pretty simple. I opened the user’s manual. After a few minutes of reading, I had the gist of the device’s operation.
“No time like the present,” I said switching the TTD on. The screen lit up with blue characters that displayed the current date and time. With no visible antenna, I wondered how or where the device received its information, but who was I to question such technology. I thought for a moment about where, or rather when, I would go first. I decided to start small and entered a destination of three days in the past, then I hit start.
I honestly didn’t know what to expect. The novelty of the thing alone was worth the thirty bucks I had spent on it, but after pushing the start button, and nothing happening, I admit I was a little disappointed. The thing didn’t even beep for God’s sake. “Oh well,” I said to the device. “At least you kept me entertained for half an hour.”
Carrying the TTD with me, I went over to my desk and turned on the computer. I figured I might as well see what kind of craziness was going on in the world. I opened my favorite news webpage and began scrolling through the headlines. Even though this had been my first visit to the site that day, the headlines all looked so familiar, and an overwhelming sense of déjà vu hit me. My eyes fell on the device sitting on the desk. “No way,” I said in disbelief. “It can’t be.”
I scrolled back to the top of the page and read the date. If I’d been looking in a mirror, I’m sure I would have seen that the color had drained from my face. The date showed the fifth of the month where it should have said the eighth.
With a shaking hand, I reached for the TTD and hit recall. Once again there was no sound and no sense of activity, but the computer was now off. I turned it on and checked the news headlines. They were now different and the date up top read the eighth. As impossible as it was to comprehend, I had just traveled through time.
An hour later I sat on my couch staring at the TTD as it sat like a ten-ton weigh on the coffee table. The implications of what had just happened to me were massive. This was supposed to be a joke. I ordered the thing out of a twenty-year-old paranormal magazine for crying out loud, but yet I saw what I saw.
I grabbed the device and left the apartment. There was a park about a block from my building, and I began walking in its direction. I wanted to be completely sure of the device’s legitimacy, and I had an idea of how to test it.
I entered the park and walked around a bit before finding what I was looking for. It was a medium-sized pecan tree, and I pulled out my phone and took a picture of it. Then taking the TTD off of my belt, I set it for five years in the past and hit start.
The change happened so fast and imperceptibly, that my brain could barely process it. One moment the tree was one size, the next it was smaller.
I took a picture and then hit recall. I took one more look at the now larger tree, then returned to my apartment.
I downloaded both pictures to my computer and opened them side by side. At first glance, someone looking at the pictures wouldn’t notice much out of the ordinary. If anything, they would probably think it was nothing more than a couple of pictures of the same tree, taken years apart, but the time stamps told a different story. They showed the pictures were taken less than a minute apart which was just the assurance I needed to know that the device was the real deal.
I thought about the possibilities the TTD could open up for me. I could correct past mistakes I’d made, or even make myself rich one thousand times over. Anything was possible, and it would be so easy, but I knew I could never do any of those things. My parents had raised me with morals, and using the TTD for personal gain would go against everything they had taught me, but I still felt like there was a reason for me having the device.
In the end, I decided the best way for me to use TTD, was to not use it at all, but before I retired the device for good, I would use it one last time. I had to see the future.
I grabbed the TTD and headed out the door. I wanted to know where we were headed and if it was in the right or wrong direction, and in my hand, was the means to do it.
I went back to the park. I was planning to go at least ten years into the future, and there was no telling what could change in that amount of time. I didn’t want to risk appearing or whatever in the wrong place, so the park seemed like the safest solution. After finding a nice wide-open area, I set the TTD for today’s date and time, but ten years from now. “Here goes nothing,” I said pushing the start button.
The park’s calm, green beauty, was replaced with a barren landscape surrounded by the ruins of the burnt-out city. I looked around in awestruck horror as I walked to where the entrance of the park used to be, and once on the street, the real terror began.
Wrecked and abandoned cars filled the streets, and everywhere I looked were the rotted corpses of human beings hanging from inverted, metal crosses. Satanic looking symbols were everywhere, and instead of the usual sounds of the city, I could only hear the tortured screams of people all around me. “What happened here,” I wondered as I took in my horrific surroundings.
Up ahead, movement caught my eye. Coming around a corner, were a group of about eight people followed by two demonic-looking creatures. The people were all shackled to one another, and most of them had ragged and bloody gashes torn from their upper bodies where they had been flayed by their demonic guards. This was just too much, and I decided it was time to go. I turned and ran back to the park. Once there I bent over and vomited, and when I was finished, I pushed recall.
While I was relieved to see everything back to normal, I couldn’t help but feel utter despair from the forbidden knowledge I now possessed.
I returned to my apartment and removed the TTD from my belt. I looked at it for a long time before opening the back and removing the batteries, then I busted the damn thing. I knew I shouldn’t have blamed the device for what it had shown me, but I just didn’t want it around anymore.
Since that day, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the future and what I saw. I wish that I could say we can all band together and save the world, but I feel that based on the events currently unfolding, there is no way to change what is coming, but at least I can give you all a heads up.
submitted by StrangenessAfoot to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 06:22 SriFenbyEx Fun and Intrugie Series: DM'ed two groups at once > time for PVP

A war of Fun and Intrigue Saga
Episode 1 to 5
Episode 6 to 10
(Skipp halfway to PVP portion - the beginning is introduction to the second group)
< Episode 11 > - Insider and Trading
Date: [Sea Season / week 1 / day 7] - Weather - Moderate Winds
After leaving the mines the team gave a small report to the captain in charge of guarding the entrance then we informed the mayor of the mining town that it's safe to resume working. Got in a nice much-needed rest and before heading out the team surveyed the surrounding area and spotted a dirt road that saved half a day of travel when going back to the warrioranger country city of Stone-Wall. Gave the manager and blacksmith the good news and rewarded with a 15% discount in the store and got 375 GP on top, the blacksmith promised to pay more later. After which everyone took another two-week vacation. Birdman got the idea of starting his own Meat-And-Wheat business and went hunting, good cleric went to help out at the blacksmith and sharpened his sword and barbarians shiny new +1 Glaive that he bought with the discount - had the Shop-Mart logo on the side of the mean-steel and had that freshly unwrapped plastic smell.
Doom Guy did manual labor then high-five people back to health poorly at a clinic Cringe-Cleric was working at. A bad rumor was spread about Doom Guy and he successfully manages to sue the clinic out of court, got banned from entering it though. Bard got drunk and committed a crime, got the absolute piss whipped out of him. Successfully faked being near death and dragged to the clinic after a few more beatings, the same exact clinic that cringe-cleric was working at and """ paid his bill """. Afterward, Bard gathered critical information on the contenders and the team pairings.
Leeroy from the Hammer-Shields managed to pay the ransom somehow has entered in and Bob scarred from his encounter at the mines makes an appearance, full of grit and newfound power. Barbarian is paired up with the prince of Paladin country Wesland, the same Wesland that framed him for murder and ruined his Nobel family's name. Prince of Wesland unlike his daddy is a Pally Bro, helps out the poor and does good deeds. Doomguy is paired up with an anime weeb Kensei, Birdman is with an old-timey ranger who uses poison, good-cleric with another cleric who he ran into earlier in rigging that they're on the same team is helping in changing the weather for top-tempest tactics. Cringe-Cleric with an Elf warlock who doesn't like humans and also tried to feed the Bard false information, and lastly prior year's champ the Gladiator Balk Bogan who shit talks constantly and has the power to back it up.
A little bit more of info gathering went on and found out the capabilities of the contenders. A cleric sharing the same god as the good-cleric says to mess with people from the main church he uses banishment then undoes the spell. Kensei weeb has a sword that's bound to her that can shoot lightning, an ol timey-ranger uses strong poisons, and that the warlock is a threat in close quarters. Bard wanted to expand his One-Man-Band show but has competition, there's an Orc Quarte in town and they hold a contract to play at the exclusive Stone-Wall Tavern, the biggest of it's kind and it cost 100 gp just to walk through the door. It's also where the best contenders of the war games get to eat for free. Bard wanted to get the owner to give him the contract instead-but gets turned away at the front door by security, tries to do sneaky bard stuff but ultimately the task provides to be more of a chore and not worth it, especially with the bad rolls the bards been getting of late.
After that, your standard carousing - gambling, disorderly conduct, and other minor shenanigans'. However one thing did come to mind - the crowd loves show-boating and often throws gold and items into the arena for exciting plays. In the event that we managed to go 1-v-1 with each other, we could fake fight like good ol wrassling and see just how much we can get out from the crowd.

< Episode B-1 > A Mental Adventure Date
[Sea Season / week 1 / day 1] - Weather - Moderate Winds
A new group of """ Adventurers """ appears, this time it's a wee band of four. Changeling Bard (Tard Bard) / Goliath Fighter / Tabaxi Thief (Thief) / Dragonborn (Ok-Paladin)
These four which will now be named the < Mental Group >. While waiting in line to signup for the Tournament in Springhelm they talk and get to know each other better. The tournament doesn't start for another two weeks so in their downtime they pursue a quick expedition job, the prior group of adventures of the expedition faced got themselves killed. So Druid/Warlock country Numush pulled out and Wizard/Sourcer country Bers is going to continue the expedition alone. This is going on while the now named 6-man is doing useful things when not doing shenanigans'. The party decides to grab some items from Shop-Mart before heading out to the big boy empire country Brint capital and chartering a boat. Tard-Bard turns invisible and successfully shoplifts a normal healing potion and a greater healing potion for the team.
Fumbled at the table and alerted the guard, thankfully the table was a bit wobbly and one of the legs was already short, being held up by a coaster. Thief buys four daggers and the other two just browse the wares. Getting to the location of where the team had to take on the quest is a week travel so everyone decide to charter a boat at the Brint Empires capital. The walk from fighteranger country's city of Stone-Wall to Empire's capital is only 9 miles so it was a quick walk. After browsing for some magic rings and the Goliath buys a pan-flute despite not knowing how to play it. We stop by the local food stalls for some cheap 1gp snacks, not all that tasty but it fills people up, well everyone but the Tard-Bard eats at the stand, Tard-Bard eats a ration which cost 5gp. They get to the boat captain and Tard-Bard successfully seduces the captain so he gets half off on the boat fair. Fighter tries to persuade the captain and screw up so the rest of the team has to pay full price, being 48gp a person for a day's travel, Tard-Bard pays 24gp. During this boat ride, intense rock-paper-scissor gambling went on while the Tard-Bard kept further seducing the boat captain. Fighter plays the pan-flute terribly but is determined to become proficient. Soon he joins the Tabaxi in gaming and overall loses 20gp between the both of them, Ok-Paladin is just chilling.
The team gets to port and Tard-Bard after further seducing the boat captain didn't wash his hands after said seduction - roll 1d6 poison damage. The team eventually finds the person looking for adventurers to assist in the expedition, a High-Elf Cleric named Dain. Tard-Bard shapeshifts into Dain right in front of him, gets a mean mug from Dain - the party still asks if they can assist in the expedition. Dain accepts their help with a wary demeanor, explains that the local inhabitants drove him and his prior team away from the nearby island. Some lizard people and Yuan-ti, there's some ancient text on that island that the main church really wants. The Fighter who has a negative in persuasion asks for an increase in pay - fails. But Dain's not lying about his objection or his entire story though, despite the weak insight check. We accept the job, and after a small boat ride arrives at the expedition main campsite at the bottom of a cliff, a small walk later inside of a ruined small church.
The Fighter still plays the pan-flute hoping to improve but plays so terribly the camp-site guard captain suffers 4 points of damage - maybe one day. It's at this point the Tard-Bard gets his character flaw - for every incredibly stupid thing he thinks or acts he rolls 1d4 for physic damage. "I want to step in that bear trap" Why? "Well - mentally. I mentally step in the bear trap" Congratulations you now have a character flaw, roll 1d4 for every time you do or think something stupid enough. Also gains a trait, provided he does something useful afterwards he can reroll to see how much HP he heals back. He wants to use Tiny Hut spell for a nice cozy place to stay for the other expedition members, roll 1d4 for healing- get 1 HP back. Expedition team sleeps in the hut, Camp-Guard captain maintains watch, Dain casts Alarm for good measure, other NPC checks traps to make sure they're in good working condition and the rest of the team sleeps outside of the hut. The team sleeps a good sleep for tomorrow's adventure.

< Episode B-2 > S-Rank
[Sea Season / week 1 / day 2] - Weather - Moderate Winds
After setting out everyone reached the temple ruins of where the Ancient book was stored, right off the bat got into a nasty encounter. Some rather meaty lizard men, a yuan-ti malison, druid, and two giant frogs. The druid was the biggest issue after managing to use Call Lightning and Heat Metal on Ok-Paladin, after some back in forth the frogs died first thanks to Thief and Fighter. Tard-Bard says something stupid again and rolls 1d4 physic damage somewhere along the lines, but afterward turned invisible manages to cuck the Druid on his next turn. Fighter and Ok-Paladin goes blow for blow on the yuan-ti and remaining lizardman, Dain is in the back healing and buffing but has to get in close to heal Ok-Paladin because he got KO'd due to heat metal. After a round of healing by two other teammates, Ok-Paladin was back at 2/3ds health. Enemy Druid makes a wind wall to deter any forward attackers and by extension disallowing the yuan-ti and last lizardman to run. Dain casts Silence and ultimately puts an end to the Druid's shenanigans, Bard tackles prone Druid but doesn't do much good as the druid passes a check on his next turn. The last remaining lizardman goes down via Breathweapon from Ok-Paladin, Fighter manages to wound the Yuan-ti enough that Dain manages to kill it via melee. Afterward, Dain drops silence and the first thing we heard was the screams of the Druid as he gets the living shit beat out of him. Early morning death battle completed, the team takes a long rest before entering the dungeon.
Sneaking mission start - The team enters the ruins and arrives at the main entrance, Tard-Bard and Thief goes invisible, Dain casts locate the ancient book and points out the general location of the book. Inside is dimly lit so Thief peeps through the keyholes and sees a couple of enemies in different hallways. The hallway that looks like it goes to the object has a yuan-ti guard standing on the other side of the door. Dain takes cover behind some walls, Fighter and Ok-Paladin takes cover near the door, Thief is invisible and stand in front of the door crouched. The door swings outwards towards both Fighter and Ok-Paladin so they'll be just out of sight. Tard-Bard knocks on the door and gently opens it, the guard walks out and gets sneak grappled by the Fighter. Hand over mouth what happened next was a single turn of the Goliath and Ok-Paladin killing it via ass whooping. Tard-Bard and Thief is still invisible and does recon, spots another yuan-ti but he's sleeping. They leave him alone and continues to look for traps and exploring the hallways. Just before closing in onto the treasure room, there's another large room with two yuan-ti. One of them leaves temporarily and the other is in the corner overlooking the entire room, sharpening his weapon so not really paying attention.
Inside the same hallway outside the large room and right in front of the treasure room is a small pile of corpses. The closest to the treasure room the more decayed the bodies looked to be, there's also some goop on the bodies. Tard-Bard steps over the bodies and examines the treasure room door, the door looks bloated and waterlogged - it's in very bad shape. Peeps through the keyhole and spots a Black Pudding on the other side of the door and a magical chest with the ancient book in it. Gamer Strats as Tard-Bard and Thief make a line of corpses from the Black Pudding room to the large room with the yuan-ti in it. Right before Tard-Bard drops the last corpse Thief stands back, the last corpse was dragged just in front of the door enough to lead the Black Pudding into the room. Tard-Bard drags the last corpse too loudly and alerts the yuan-ti, as the yuan-ti is walking towards the corpse Tard-Bard opens the Black Pudding door, Black Pudding starts to eat it's way to the yuan-ti until it started attacking it. The second yuan-ti comes back, while all of this is going down Tard-Bard runs past the Black Pudding and double checks the chest for traps then tears the lid open and scoops up the ancient book and some treasure. A whole lot of gems, gold, and a +1 Rapier. Thief and Tard-Bard books it to the main room where everyone was waiting. Tard-Bard decides to pickpocket the sleeping yuan-ti and finds some gold and a potion of hill-giant strength, most likely pillaged from one of the dead corpses. After arriving at the main room the team books it out of the ruins
> Sneaking Mission S-Rank <
Once back to camp vastly impressed Dain manages to get the camp guard captain and his assistant to give our team a little bit extra gold to keep them on their good side for future expeditions. An extra 40 GP for each person, once back to town port Dain pays for the boat fare back to the empire capital. After a day sailing and another quick jog, the team get back to Stone-Wall. Tard-Bard sells the gems, overall the party made nearly 1,000 GP. Pretty nice haul - though it was a successful mission it ends on a somewhat sour note. Fighter got cold feet after the entire expedition and ends his adventuring career, Player's schedule changed and couldn't play anymore. Shame but the adventurer's life isn't for everyone, remaining team members use the rest of this and next week dicking around carousing until the big day arrives. The beginning of the tournament arc.

< Episode X-1 > Torunament Arc - Part 1
[Sea Season / week 3 / day 1] - Weather - Moderate Winds
There was some time before everyone gathered into the arena, Thief meets up with the Big Group now name Think-Bard during a drunken haze of debauchery. Losing half of their personal gold. Thief also loses half of his items but gets a treasure map, lastly, Thief slept with a trap. Birdman invests into a food-truck attachment for the wagon and goes with Think-Bard near the fancy tavern to get another chance for Think-Bard to get that contract. Think-Bard gets a nat 20 and plays so well not only the fancy tavern's owner gives him the contract to play as the opening act, but Bird-Man earns nearly triple the gold for his last two remaining rations when he sold them from his food-truck. Think-Bard doesn't use his last action but saves it for a certain surprise. Both Big-Group and Mental Group plans to split the winnings between their respective teams.
It - Is - Time We all gather in the arena main gathering hall, while the normie fights were going on inside the arena. The referee goes over the rules of the fights - three very important rules.
Rule #1 - Flight and levitation are off-limits, the crowd doesn't like cowards who also disengage which is okay but this leads into...
Rule #2 - Don't be boring - the arena was built with magic stones and the mood of the crowd has profound effects on the combatants. Attacks hit more cleanly and cuts go deeper - and vise versa. Asides from that it's not uncommon for massive amounts of gold, items, and furniture tossed into the arena to do cool stuff off of.
Rule #3 - No killing - it is very important to not kill an opponent as you will pick up the very expensive resurrection bill.
Balk Bogan showboats during the explanation of Rule #2 but was told to settle down by the ref. Afterwhich the crowd goes absolutely nuts and we can hear them stomping on the floor shouting "We want more - bring them to the floor!" Right before the fight the Barbarian conveniences the prince to give his share of the winnings to him to invest in Birdman's Business, Princes agree so long as Birdman gives discounts to the poor and needy. Party Members who aren't actively fighting are watching from the stands, and at certain opportunities can try to rouse the crowd, mess or assist contenders in subtle ways, or throw furniture into the ring.
It's Show Time
Round 1 Team
(A) Ex-Lords Alliance Ranger Bob - Who underwent a Training Arc
Cleric Dain - from the expedition
Hammer-Shields Leeroy - Who somehow made bail
Veteran
Wizard
Knight
VS
Team (B) John Grey - Barbarian
Prince of Wesland Solomon - Paladin
Wizard
Horseman - Paladin
Veteran
Cleric
F-I-G-H-T
The first turn starts off kind of slow without the exception of Bob being a total bad-ass critting at least half the time throughout the entire fight, gritty and scarred from his fight in the mines - he never missed a shot by the way. Prince and Barbarian went around tag-teaming everything that came their way until it happened. The crowd went wild after Barbarians wizard lands a 5-hit Fireball, Doom Guy throws a table into the area. After Bob scores a double KO in a single turn the crowd threw in nearly 300 gold, another player throws in a chair near Barbarian. One of Bob's team member jumps onto the table to rouse the crowd but fails, soon falls prone due to friendly fire via Shatter and wrecks the table. Crowd laughs and a second chair is thrown in. Barbarian drops his weapon and KO's Bob's veteran with said chair and the chair explodes - at this point the crowd threw in roughly a total of 600 gold.
Barbarian's team went back and forth hard up north while the Prince and Barbarian swept low going upwards to the top section of the arena. Leeroy who was determined to get vengeance for his embarrassment via capture gets KO'd by the Prince. More gold and a healing potion get thrown in. Dain tried his best but got Knocked out by Barbarian, Bob went full CQC but sadly rolled a nat 1 and knocked himself out. The win goes to Barbarian and Prince's team, total gold was 861 between the victors. After the ref and clerics heal and pick up the fallen it's time for: Round 2:
Team (C) Birdman - Ranger
Old Man O'Mally - Ranger
Knight
Veteran
Wizard
Cleric
vs Team (D) Doom Guy - Fighter
Izimu - Kensei
Tard-Bard
Wizard
Veteran
Knight

O'Malley stops Birdman right before he leaves and shares some of his poison, tasty extra 1d6. Tard-Bard tells jokes and buffs Doom-Guy. Ref get's out there and starts the fight which instantly turned into the Bird Team's favor. Birdman 1st Round 1-Hit KOs Tard-Bard - Birdman is not playing around. The crowd throws in a lot of money. O'Malley rolls up and gets a few good shots in with Hordbreaker feat. Doom Guy's wizard has a big idea - uses Tidal Wave on Birdman's entire team knocks down all but O'Mally and a Knight. More gold gets thrown in. Doom Guy and the team close the gap. Doom Guy charges right into Birdman's entire team and KOs Birdman. Which in return gets Doom Guy KO'd by Birdman's Team. It's at this point Doom Guy and Bird-Man have a slapping fight with each other on the floor. A lot of mass healing word was going on throughout the entire fight Tard-Bard gets back up and goes invisible, gets booed by the crowd, and loses AC until the fight ends. O'Malley is taking potshots and Izumi caught one of his rounds and fumbles when she tried to throw it on a nat 1.
She uses her Thunder Sword to make a ranged zap attack on Bird Man's cleric, she closes the gap, and KO's him next turn. Doom Guy tries to imitate the Barbarian and smacks Bird-Mans dwarf wizard with a chair that was thrown into the ring, dwarf HP got reduced from 4 HP to 1 HP, the dwarf gets knocked out next turn though. Tard-Bard manages to power heal Doom Guy, gently feeding him a greater health potion, after another mass word of Healing Doom Guy is at full health. Doom Guy/Tard-Bard Team manages to pull a win after getting messed up in the beginning rounds of the match.
Tard-Bard somehow convinces his team's Cleric who isn't all that smart to give him his share of the winnings. O'Malley manages to get cornered but surrenders like a champ as the last man standing. The crowd throws in more gold, Doom Guy victory cheers while holding up Izumi and O'Malley's hand with Tard-Bard who uses bard-magic to make a magic fist-pumping hand Total gold before splitting it split 6 ways - 1,410 DM rolled 2 Double Crits in the same fight, so that happened. Birdman proudly refuses to dip into the shared winnings but is sold a mysterious small bottle of purple poison by O'Mally, small enough to coat 3 arrows. After some haggling, he buys the poison for 100 GP and some cut of Bird-Mans business profit. O'Malley whispers into Bird Man's ear - "Purple Worm Poison" - a very nasty poison that requires an absurdly high CON saving throw and if you fail you take 12d6 damage. Worst case scenario the person or thing unlucky enough could take up to 72 points of damage just by poison alone, assuming the math isn't off.
With this, the first day of the Arena Match is over. Business Parchment Cards are exchanged and business deals are made. Barbarian advances into solving a personal quest by talking to the Prince. The evening is spent with a small bit of partying with Barbarian and Tabaxi losing half of their gold with alcohol and narcotics. Birdman sells more meal deals, Think-Bard chills and doesn't do anything, Tard-Bard finds an exotic animal trader and buys an elephant and elephant insurance while everyone else just relaxes - for now.
Day one stats - Team (B) [Barbarian / Prince] and Team (D) [Doom Guy / Izumi / Tard-Bard] Advances.
< Episode X-2 > Tournament Arc pt.2
[Sea Season / week 3 / day 2] - Weather - Moderate Winds
The second day of the tournament starts with some normie fights followed by the title fights - a nice standoff between Cringe-Cleric and Onyx the Warlock and the Cleric duo Good-Cleric & Wahmuu Life Cleric whom Good-Cleric sought out and planned for some favorable weather days in advance and Thief. Good-Cleric's plan goes off """ Perfectly """ as it starts to rain, Wahmuu maintains concentration. Good Cleric opens the fight by Call Lightning and deals good damage, wizards slinging Tidal Waves and Fire Balls, and every other contender squares off each other. Bird Man starts to sell his food then gets the crazy idea to buy the arena food, re-cook it and sell it at marked-up value. This surprisingly made then a lot of money however great shinanigans come with great unintended consequences.
Good Cleric gets into a mini-conflict with multiple attackers supported by Wahmuu, Thief goes after weaker opponents and gets a good couple of stabs and knife throws off, Doom Guy throws a table into the ring which Wahmuu does a flip off of, fails, and goes prone. Gets beat on and loses concentration soon afterward. Cringe Cleric square off against Tabaxi thief and pulls a win, Cringe-Cleric went full-on Boss-Mode. Vampiric Touch smacking people left and right, so far none of cringe clerics team-mates has fallen and only one of Good-Cleric plus Thief, overall people have been in dead-lock wearing each other down. Birdman throws a hot-dog into the ring, Thief barely conscious eats the hotdog and gets healed 1 hp. But by the time Cringe-Cleric reaches Good-Cleric Wahmuu got up and manage to mass heal everyone, Cringe-Cleric dealt with Wahmuu and had a slug feast with Good-Cleric. Thief went around assisting friendly NPCs in taking down opponents. During all of this, the crowd is going nuts throwing in massive amounts of gold into the arena. Good-Clerics allies just managed to barely beat Cringe-Cleric's allies and Cringe Cleric is still going full-on Boss Mode. Eventually, Good-Cleric manages to beat Cringe-Cleric with critical HP remaining.
Overall the victors made a nice sum of money, and big group made nearly 2.1k. Next was Balk-Bogan and his team vs another NPC team. Being last years champs they tore through the competition, Balk turns out to not only be a seasoned gladiator but a barbarian as well. Balk thinking that healing is for cowards goes full on DPS monster melee. The group makes a mental note of this and prepares to strategize against Balk, either way Good-Cleric and friends is up against a hard fight the following day.
Team (C) Good-Cleric, Life-Cleric, and Thief & Team (E) Balk Bogan
Advances

With 50 more sessions to go, the expedition to barrier peaks arc with alien golf carts, a pimp that can cast level 7 spells, and a mysterious monkey virus is soon around the corner.
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2020.09.24 06:13 TheMidnightArchive The Abduction and Murder of Amber Hagerman

A Trip to The Grocery Store
The late winter in Texas is a mild time usually, with steady wind and a biting chill in the air. The season is one of change, the life force of the previous year is fading away to succumb to a newness imbued by the heat of the Spring and Summer. January 12th, 1996 in Arlington, Texas was no different, the sun was shining, the wind was steady, and the temperature hovered around the mid-sixties. On this day Donna Whitson and her two children, nine-year-old Amber and five-year-old Ricky Hagerman were in Arlington visiting Donna’s parents, Glenda and Jimmie Whitson. The family arrived at their destination around 3pm and upon disembarking Donna’s car the kids asked to ride their bikes, the ones that Donna had her parents keep at their home for them. Donna, without a second thought, assented to the request with the limitation that the kids stay within a block of their grandparents’ home. She wanted them to be safe.
Once astride their bicycles and away from nagging adults, Amber disregarded the boundary set upon her and her brother. Amber led Ricky to the local neighborhood play spot, a shuttered Winn-Dixie grocery store and after approximately 15 minutes of riding around the parking lot and loading dock the younger Ricky was ready to turn back home, whether out of fear of being beyond their boundary or being tired is unknown. What is known is that Amber had elected to stay and ride her bike around the parking lot of the store on her own for a while longer, that Ricky went home alone, and that in the intervening time something horrible would happen to Amber that would shape substance and conscious of the her family forever.
On January 12th, Mr. Jim Kevil was sitting on his back porch looking out over his yard and fence, a view that happened to encompass the next-door Winn-Dixie store’s loading dock and the street it was on. Around 3:15 pm Mr. Kevil saw a lone young girl riding a colorful bike around the grocery store loading dock when a dark colored truck quickly pulled into the parking lot. Jim Kevil would later state that the driver of the truck was either white or Hispanic and between the ages of 25-40, this unknown subject grabbed Amber, who let out a scream and began kicking her abductor. The driver then put Amber in his vehicle before he sped off West bound down Abrams Road. Not just a passive witness, Mr. Kevil called 911 to report the incident to the police and to try to aid in the capture of the kidnapper and the return of the little girl. This would be the last time that anyone would see Amber Hagerman alive.
After arriving home alone five-year-old Ricky Hagerman was sent by his family back to the Winn-Dixie to retrieve his sister. Turning his bike around Ricky did as requested, only to return to an empty parking lot. Only a brief eight minutes had elapsed since he had last seen his sister, but it was too late; Amber was gone. Ricky once again arrived alone to the Whitson home prompting Grandfather Jimmie Whitson to race to the store in his car to search for Amber himself. Jimmie would arrive at the store at about the same time as an Arlington police officer, summoned by Jim Kevil’s 911 call did; the only remnant of Amber was her abandoned bicycle.
Law Enforcement, including the local police and the FBI (involved as a result of the pleas of Amber’s distraught family), coupled with a mass of volunteers began a wide net search for the missing girl, but came up empty. Amber had vanished.
Discovery
January 16, 1996 is a day that Amber’s family will never forget. Four days after she had been taken by an unidentified male from that Winn-Dixie parking lot, Amber Hagerman’s body was discovered in the early morning hours by an anonymous man walking his dog near the Forest Hills Apartment Complex in Arlington, Texas. Her body was found face down in a creek approximately 4 miles from her abduction site. Prior to this, apartment maintenance workers had been in that area and seen nothing, suggesting that the remains were either placed there after the workers had left or moved down stream by a torrential rainstorm that had just occurred. Amber’s family was informed shortly after the discovery, shocked they initially refused to believe the news with her father quoted in a New York Times article written at the time as saying, “She’s still alive” to the reporters covering the case and camped outside the Whitson home.
Amber was discovered wearing nothing but a single sock and the medical examiner would later confirm investigators suspicions, there was evidence of sexual assault and physical abuse, the cause of death: lacerations to the neck and throat. Additionally, the medical examiner stated that there was evidence that Amber had been kept alive for at least two days after her abduction before she was murdered, and her body disposed of.
Investigation Still Ongoing
More than 20 years later the investigation is still technically ongoing, to date the Arlington Police Department (APD) has not formally announced that they have any suspects or persons of interest. APD Detective Ben Lopez stated in a recent interview that the APD still receives tips regularly regarding the case and the department thoroughly investigates each one like it could be the piece of the puzzle that finally gives Amber’s family closure and justice.
An explanation of this unsolved murder most likely lies in the fact that Amber’s body was left in running water for an indeterminate amount of time, coupled with the storm that raised the creek level and most likely moved the body from the dump site, forensic evidence would have been all but erased and any physical evidence diluted or washed away. Not helping the investigation is the fact that there is only one witness to the crime: Jim Kevil was the sole person to come forward with information regarding the abduction, despite the fact that Amber was taken in broad daylight on a residential street. To date no one else has come forward with evidence or statements to aid in the apprehension of the unknown subject. Some reports assert that this is a result of the immigrant community in the area and the traditional apprehension of this population in talking to law enforcement thought that remains unsubstantiated speculation.
It is believed that Amber’s abductor and murderer was a stranger to her given that he took her by force and did not attempt to talk her into his vehicle. With this, I agree with the official narrative. Where I differ is on why Amber was taken. Based on the speed at which the abduction occurred it suggests to me that Amber may have been watched for some time before being taken. As stated previously Amber Hagerman was abducted in a window of approximately 8 minutes from when her brother left and then returned to bring her home. The official narrative is that this was an act of extreme opportunity when the perpetrator just happened to be driving by when he saw her alone. This would suggest that there was an event that triggered sporadic actions in the perpetrator, to quote a popular television show there must have been a stressor that induced this action.
Regardless of the why, the fact of the matter is that Amber Hagerman’s killer is still at large. He has gone unpunished for his heinous actions against this innocent little girl and by extension her family. As a result of chance and a fluke of nature no evidence or additional witnesses remain of what happened on that fateful winter day. Amber’s killer is nameless, and her family is left with no closure or answers, only questions and heartache.
Possible Suspects
Richard Lee Franks
Richard Lee Franks was charged on March 16, 2000 with the aggravated kidnapping of Opal Jo Jennings from Saginaw, a town a few miles north of Fort Worth. On March 26, 1999 6-year-old Opal was playing with her 3-year-old cousin in a vacant lot next to her grandparent’s house when Franks pulled up to the lot in his black Mercury Cougar. He then exited his vehicle and approached the kids feigning conversation with them. When Franks was close enough, he plucked Opal off the ground, punched her in the chest and put her in his car. What happened next was not unlike in Amber’s case, a large-scale search was launched for Opal led by her family and the local police department, it would not be for five years that Opal would be found. Her remains were discovered in a wooded area while two individuals were riding their horses along a remote trail. As a result of the state in which the remains were found, there was little physical or forensic evidence. What was clear was that the cause of death was most likely the result of a blow to the head. Franks would later be charged with Opal’s kidnapping but not her murder as there was no evidence to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that Franks had indeed murdered her. In fact, he claimed that he had driven her to a local store to get a drink and left her there. What lends credence to Franks as a potential suspect is the similarity between Amber and Opal, and the way that they were taken. Both were seemingly impulse driven abductions based on the speed in which they occurred.
This link between Opal and Amber was not solely based on the research of internet sleuths. Mark Simpson, an investigating officer in the Hagerman case in an address to the National Children’s Advocacy Center’s 26 Annual National Symposium on Child Abuse to the fact that Franks had prior criminal history involving children, all young, brown haired girls and that Opal’s kidnaping occurred in the same county as Amber’s. Based on proximity, prior history, and similarity in method at the very least one could expect that APD would investigate Franks as a person of interest however, that has not been the case.
Terapon Adhahn
Born in Bangkok, Thailand. Terapon immigrated to the United States as a child when his mother married a U.S. serviceman and he returned to the United States. As he grew older Terapon would become a Buddhist monk as well as follow in his stepfather’s footsteps and join the U.S. Army. Adhahn has been connected to (either directly as the known perpetrator or suspected) multiple offenses, both resolved or unresolved, against children throughout Washington State including rape, kidnapping, and murder. He has also been questioned in connection the Amber Hagerman case by APD though has not been named as an official suspect.
In 1990 Adhahn was charged with sexual assault against a 16-year-old relative. This charge would result in him being forced to register as a sex offender and enter rehabilitation but as a first offense was not enough for him to be deported.
On May 31, 2000 an 11-year-old unnamed (for reasons of privacy) Spanaway County Girl was abducted on her way to school. She was bound and taken to a secluded training field close to the Fort Lewis Military Base where she was repeatedly assaulted over the course of an hour. After the assaults Adhahn left her bound on a road nearby where she would be discovered walking, still bound with her eyes taped over, by a Tacoma City Police Officer.
In December 2005, Adre’anna Jackson would also be abducted on her way to school, she disappeared from Lakewood in Pierce County, Washington and was never seen again. Over a year later, April 2006, skeletal remains were found in a field near her Tillicum neighborhood. Investigators showed pictures of Adhahn to residents who identified him as a known handyman who frequently worked in the area. He is regarded as a person of interest in this case.
On July 4, 2007 Zina Linnik had been watching a firework display with her siblings on a hilltop near her home when her father, Mikhail Linnik, on his back porch presumably also watching the display, heard his daughter cry out. When he arrived at the spot that Zina was taken all that was left was a single shoe she had been wearing, Mikhail also saw a gray Chevy Astro van speeding away and he was able to partially make out the license plate. Four days alter Terapon Adhahn was arrested for the kidnapping of Zina. However, this speedy apprehension was not enough, on condition of prosecution not seeking the death penalty, Adhahn led investigators to the remains of young Zina Linnik. She had been strangled with a zip tie though Adhahn would claim that her death had been an accident.
Additionally, while living in the Tacoma area, Adhahn was responsible for the care of an unnamed (again for the sake of privacy) 12-year-old girl. Her mother allowed the girl to live with Adhahn since she was unable to provide for her daughter, Adhahn only a “friend of her mother’s boyfriend”. Over the course of the next three years Adhahn would subject the young girl to repeated sexual assault, stopping only when she was able to run away after being assaulted at gun point.
Why Terapon Adhahn? It has been reported that, coupled with his extensive and horrendous history with children, Terapon lived for a time with his aunt in the Fort Worth area around 1996. During the investigation, law enforcement noticed striking similarities in the method of kidnapping, assault, and victims in the Adhahn case and with a few officers having been trained in Texas for the Amber Alert System, were familiar with the Hagerman case. Additionally, he used a similar vehicle in the Fort Lewis incident as was seen in Amber’s abduction. Terapon has been question regarding Amber's abduction and murder though not formally named as a suspect or even a person of interest.
Similar Cases
Heidi Seeman – San Antonio, Texas
On August 4, 1990 11-year-old Heidi Seeman was walking home from a sleep-over at a friend house the previous night. Her unnamed friend walked Heidi a part of the way home, to a midpoint between their houses at the intersection of Stahl road and Willow Run Street. Approaching the intersection Heidi’s friend as well as neighbors in the area reported seeing a red car with dark tinted windows pass by the girls slowly, and the driver watching them intently. Thinking nothing much of it, the girls parted ways and Heidi was never seen again. On August 25th, 1990 her remains were found in Hays County, Texas. No additional details were released regarding her death aside from the fact that a medical examiner ruled her death as a result of homicide.
Erica Botello – San Antonio, Texas
Closer in circumstance to Amber Hagerman, 7-year-old Erica Botello was taken on August 23, 1990 from the playground (or road next to depending on source) near her apartment complex. She was not unsupervised or alone the entire time she was playing. Erica was with her Father however he stepped inside for a brief time. When he went back outside, Erica was gone. Her remains would be found on August 25, 1990 in a storm drain about a mile from her home and abduction site. There is little information regarding Erica’s as she was and is eclipsed by the case of Heidi Seeman, a young white girl just a few years older than Erica, a girl of Hispanic dissent, from a wealthier side of San Antonio to the working class area that the Botello family lived in. Any information found on Erica is usually limited to brief sentences and always in tandem to Heidi.
Legacy and Aftermath
What happened to Amber Hagerman is not a mystery, it is known. She was taken from her family, held and assaulted over the course of two days, killed, and her body was disposed of in a creek not far from her abduction site. Her killer did all of these things without leaving any evidence, and slipped away. What isn't known is who did those things to her? Was it someone she knew? Had that person been watching her? Was this all really the result of chance and opportunity? One can hope that these questions, and more, will be answered one day but with each passing day the possibility that they never will be becomes all the more real.
It has been 24 years since Amber Hagerman was abducted and murdered yet her legacy lives on.
Amber’s abduction and murder was the impetus for the creation for the AMBER Alert System. This is a coordinated effort between law enforcement, radio, television, and cellphone broadcast systems to alert the general public in the region of an abduction to the incident and any information that law enforcement has on the abduction such as their physical description as well as the description of the vehicle they were last seen with. This system has resulted in the safe return of almost 1,000 children in the United States since its inception as a regional program in 1997, then national (and international) in 2000 however it is also under scrutiny for saving so few and being so annoying as an alert results in an alarm blaring through the device that receives it, and for saving so few. Critics question whether it saving just one life is worth it, is saving so few worth it?
I say yes.

Sources
Amber Hagerman
Arlington police mum about whether DNA evidence exist in unsolved Amber Hagerman case
CRIME HUNTER: Sleep interrupted? Think about Amber Hagerman Toronto Sun
[APD "Missing" flyer for Amber Haggerman, 1996] - Side 1 of 1 - The Portal to Texas History
AA28.pdf
Gale In Context: Biography - Document - Body of Kidnapped Texas Girl Is Found
Body of Girl Who Was Dragged Screaming Off Bicycle Is Found - Los Angeles Times
How Were Amber Alerts Created? The Amber Hagerman Cold Case - A&E
Child abuse symposium speaker tells of similar abduction/murder cases with different endings - al.com
Richard Lee Franks
Medical examiner: Remains are those of missing girl - Plainview Herald
Richard Lee Franks Texas Prison Inmates The Texas Tribune
FRANKS v. STATE FindLaw
Family prepares to bury girl who was abducted five years ago - Midland Reporter-Telegram
FBI, Texas Rangers investigating death of 6-year-old girl in Saginaw Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Terapon Adhahn
Adhahn pleads guilty to murder of Tacoma girl, 12 The Seattle Times
Killer of Tacoma child reveals motive in papers The Seattle Times
Terapon Adhahn pleads guilty to rape, murder of Zina Linnik HeraldNet.com
Child abduction-rape investigation widens - seattlepi.com
Heidi Seeman and Erica Botello
August marks 30 years since disappearances of Heidi Seeman, Erica Botello
1990 kidnapping, murder of two San Antonio girls still unsolved
submitted by TheMidnightArchive to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 06:08 TheMidnightArchive The Abduction and Murder of Amber Hagerman

The Abduction and Murder of Amber Hagerman
A Trip to The Grocery Store
The late winter in Texas is a mild time usually, with steady wind and a biting chill in the air. The season is one of change, the life force of the previous year is fading away to succumb to a newness imbued by the heat of the Spring and Summer. January 12th, 1996 in Arlington, Texas was no different, the sun was shining, the wind was steady, and the temperature hovered around the mid-sixties. On this day Donna Whitson and her two children, nine-year-old Amber and five-year-old Ricky Hagerman were in Arlington visiting Donna’s parents, Glenda and Jimmie Whitson. The family arrived at their destination around 3pm and upon disembarking Donna’s car the kids asked to ride their bikes, the ones that Donna had her parents keep at their home for them. Donna, without a second thought, assented to the request with the limitation that the kids stay within a block of their grandparents’ home. She wanted them to be safe.
Once astride their bicycles and away from nagging adults, Amber disregarded the boundary set upon her and her brother. Amber led Ricky to the local neighborhood play spot, a shuttered Winn-Dixie grocery store and after approximately 15 minutes of riding around the parking lot and loading dock the younger Ricky was ready to turn back home, whether out of fear of being beyond their boundary or being tired is unknown. What is known is that Amber had elected to stay and ride her bike around the parking lot of the store on her own for a while longer, that Ricky went home alone, and that in the intervening time something horrible would happen to Amber that would shape substance and conscious of the her family forever.
On January 12th, Mr. Jim Kevil was sitting on his back porch looking out over his yard and fence, a view that happened to encompass the next-door Winn-Dixie store’s loading dock and the street it was on. Around 3:15 pm Mr. Kevil saw a lone young girl riding a colorful bike around the grocery store loading dock when a dark colored truck quickly pulled into the parking lot. Jim Kevil would later state that the driver of the truck was either white or Hispanic and between the ages of 25-40, this unknown subject grabbed Amber, who let out a scream and began kicking her abductor. The driver then put Amber in his vehicle before he sped off West bound down Abrams Road. Not just a passive witness, Mr. Kevil called 911 to report the incident to the police and to try to aid in the capture of the kidnapper and the return of the little girl. This would be the last time that anyone would see Amber Hagerman alive.
After arriving home alone five-year-old Ricky Hagerman was sent by his family back to the Winn-Dixie to retrieve his sister. Turning his bike around Ricky did as requested, only to return to an empty parking lot. Only a brief eight minutes had elapsed since he had last seen his sister, but it was too late; Amber was gone. Ricky once again arrived alone to the Whitson home prompting Grandfather Jimmie Whitson to race to the store in his car to search for Amber himself. Jimmie would arrive at the store at about the same time as an Arlington police officer, summoned by Jim Kevil’s 911 call did; the only remnant of Amber was her abandoned bicycle.
Law Enforcement, including the local police and the FBI (involved as a result of the pleas of Amber’s distraught family), coupled with a mass of volunteers began a wide net search for the missing girl, but came up empty. Amber had vanished.
Discovery
January 16, 1996 is a day that Amber’s family will never forget. Four days after she had been taken by an unidentified male from that Winn-Dixie parking lot, Amber Hagerman’s body was discovered in the early morning hours by an anonymous man walking his dog near the Forest Hills Apartment Complex in Arlington, Texas. Her body was found face down in a creek approximately 4 miles from her abduction site. Prior to this, apartment maintenance workers had been in that area and seen nothing, suggesting that the remains were either placed there after the workers had left or moved down stream by a torrential rainstorm that had just occurred. Amber’s family was informed shortly after the discovery, shocked they initially refused to believe the news with her father quoted in a New York Times article written at the time as saying, “She’s still alive” to the reporters covering the case and camped outside the Whitson home.
Amber was discovered wearing nothing but a single sock and the medical examiner would later confirm investigators suspicions, there was evidence of sexual assault and physical abuse, the cause of death: lacerations to the neck and throat. Additionally, the medical examiner stated that there was evidence that Amber had been kept alive for at least two days after her abduction before she was murdered, and her body disposed of.
Investigation Still Ongoing
More than 20 years later the investigation is still technically ongoing, to date the Arlington Police Department (APD) has not formally announced that they have any suspects or persons of interest. APD Detective Ben Lopez stated in a recent interview that the APD still receives tips regularly regarding the case and the department thoroughly investigates each one like it could be the piece of the puzzle that finally gives Amber’s family closure and justice.
An explanation of this unsolved murder most likely lies in the fact that Amber’s body was left in running water for an indeterminate amount of time, coupled with the storm that raised the creek level and most likely moved the body from the dump site, forensic evidence would have been all but erased and any physical evidence diluted or washed away. Not helping the investigation is the fact that there is only one witness to the crime: Jim Kevil was the sole person to come forward with information regarding the abduction, despite the fact that Amber was taken in broad daylight on a residential street. To date no one else has come forward with evidence or statements to aid in the apprehension of the unknown subject. Some reports assert that this is a result of the immigrant community in the area and the traditional apprehension of this population in talking to law enforcement thought that remains unsubstantiated speculation.
It is believed that Amber’s abductor and murderer was a stranger to her given that he took her by force and did not attempt to talk her into his vehicle. With this, I agree with the official narrative. Where I differ is on why Amber was taken. Based on the speed at which the abduction occurred it suggests to me that Amber may have been watched for some time before being taken. As stated previously Amber Hagerman was abducted in a window of approximately 8 minutes from when her brother left and then returned to bring her home. The official narrative is that this was an act of extreme opportunity when the perpetrator just happened to be driving by when he saw her alone. This would suggest that there was an event that triggered sporadic actions in the perpetrator, to quote a popular television show there must have been a stressor that induced this action.
Regardless of the why, the fact of the matter is that Amber Hagerman’s killer is still at large. He has gone unpunished for his heinous actions against this innocent little girl and by extension her family. As a result of chance and a fluke of nature no evidence or additional witnesses remain of what happened on that fateful winter day. Amber’s killer is nameless, and her family is left with no closure or answers, only questions and heartache.
Possible Suspects
Richard Lee Franks
Richard Lee Franks was charged on March 16, 2000 with the aggravated kidnapping of Opal Jo Jennings from Saginaw, a town a few miles north of Fort Worth. On March 26, 1999 6-year-old Opal was playing with her 3-year-old cousin in a vacant lot next to her grandparent’s house when Franks pulled up to the lot in his black Mercury Cougar. He then exited his vehicle and approached the kids feigning conversation with them. When Franks was close enough, he plucked Opal off the ground, punched her in the chest and put her in his car. What happened next was not unlike in Amber’s case, a large-scale search was launched for Opal led by her family and the local police department, it would not be for five years that Opal would be found. Her remains were discovered in a wooded area while two individuals were riding their horses along a remote trail. As a result of the state in which the remains were found, there was little physical or forensic evidence. What was clear was that the cause of death was most likely the result of a blow to the head. Franks would later be charged with Opal’s kidnapping but not her murder as there was no evidence to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that Franks had indeed murdered her. In fact, he claimed that he had driven her to a local store to get a drink and left her there. What lends credence to Franks as a potential suspect is the similarity between Amber and Opal, and the way that they were taken. Both were seemingly impulse driven abductions based on the speed in which they occurred.
This link between Opal and Amber was not solely based on the research of internet sleuths. Mark Simpson, an investigating officer in the Hagerman case in an address to the National Children’s Advocacy Center’s 26 Annual National Symposium on Child Abuse to the fact that Franks had prior criminal history involving children, all young, brown haired girls and that Opal’s kidnaping occurred in the same county as Amber’s. Based on proximity, prior history, and similarity in method at the very least one could expect that APD would investigate Franks as a person of interest however, that has not been the case.
Terapon Adhahn
Born in Bangkok, Thailand. Terapon immigrated to the United States as a child when his mother married a U.S. serviceman and he returned to the United States. As he grew older Terapon would become a Buddhist monk as well as follow in his stepfather’s footsteps and join the U.S. Army. Adhahn has been connected to (either directly as the known perpetrator or suspected) multiple offenses, both resolved or unresolved, against children throughout Washington State including rape, kidnapping, and murder. He has also been questioned in connection the Amber Hagerman case by APD though has not been named as an official suspect.
In 1990 Adhahn was charged with sexual assault against a 16-year-old relative. This charge would result in him being forced to register as a sex offender and enter rehabilitation but as a first offense was not enough for him to be deported.
On May 31, 2000 an 11-year-old unnamed (for reasons of privacy) Spanaway County Girl was abducted on her way to school. She was bound and taken to a secluded training field close to the Fort Lewis Military Base where she was repeatedly assaulted over the course of an hour. After the assaults Adhahn left her bound on a road nearby where she would be discovered walking, still bound with her eyes taped over, by a Tacoma City Police Officer.
In December 2005, Adre’anna Jackson would also be abducted on her way to school, she disappeared from Lakewood in Pierce County, Washington and was never seen again. Over a year later, April 2006, skeletal remains were found in a field near her Tillicum neighborhood. Investigators showed pictures of Adhahn to residents who identified him as a known handyman who frequently worked in the area. He is regarded as a person of interest in this case.
On July 4, 2007 Zina Linnik had been watching a firework display with her siblings on a hilltop near her home when her father, Mikhail Linnik, on his back porch presumably also watching the display, heard his daughter cry out. When he arrived at the spot that Zina was taken all that was left was a single shoe she had been wearing, Mikhail also saw a gray Chevy Astro van speeding away and he was able to partially make out the license plate. Four days alter Terapon Adhahn was arrested for the kidnapping of Zina. However, this speedy apprehension was not enough, on condition of prosecution not seeking the death penalty, Adhahn led investigators to the remains of young Zina Linnik. She had been strangled with a zip tie though Adhahn would claim that her death had been an accident.
Additionally, while living in the Tacoma area, Adhahn was responsible for the care of an unnamed (again for the sake of privacy) 12-year-old girl. Her mother allowed the girl to live with Adhahn since she was unable to provide for her daughter, Adhahn only a “friend of her mother’s boyfriend”. Over the course of the next three years Adhahn would subject the young girl to repeated sexual assault, stopping only when she was able to run away after being assaulted at gun point.
Why Terapon Adhahn? It has been reported that, coupled with his extensive and horrendous history with children, Terapon lived for a time with his aunt in the Fort Worth area around 1996. During the investigation, law enforcement noticed striking similarities in the method of kidnapping, assault, and victims in the Adhahn case and with a few officers having been trained in Texas for the Amber Alert System, were familiar with the Hagerman case. Additionally, he used a similar vehicle in the Fort Lewis incident as was seen in Amber’s abduction. Terapon has been question regarding Amber's abduction and murder though not formally named as a suspect or even a person of interest.
Similar Cases
Heidi Seeman – San Antonio, Texas
On August 4, 1990 11-year-old Heidi Seeman was walking home from a sleep-over at a friend house the previous night. Her unnamed friend walked Heidi a part of the way home, to a midpoint between their houses at the intersection of Stahl road and Willow Run Street. Approaching the intersection Heidi’s friend as well as neighbors in the area reported seeing a red car with dark tinted windows pass by the girls slowly, and the driver watching them intently. Thinking nothing much of it, the girls parted ways and Heidi was never seen again. On August 25th, 1990 her remains were found in Hays County, Texas. No additional details were released regarding her death aside from the fact that a medical examiner ruled her death as a result of homicide.
Erica Botello – San Antonio, Texas
Closer in circumstance to Amber Hagerman, 7-year-old Erica Botello was taken on August 23, 1990 from the playground (or road next to depending on source) near her apartment complex. She was not unsupervised or alone the entire time she was playing. Erica was with her Father however he stepped inside for a brief time. When he went back outside, Erica was gone. Her remains would be found on August 25, 1990 in a storm drain about a mile from her home and abduction site. There is little information regarding Erica’s as she was and is eclipsed by the case of Heidi Seeman, a young white girl just a few years older than Erica, a girl of Hispanic dissent, from a wealthier side of San Antonio to the working class area that the Botello family lived in. Any information found on Erica is usually limited to brief sentences and always in tandem to Heidi.
Legacy and Aftermath
What happened to Amber Hagerman is not a mystery, it is known. She was taken from her family, held and assaulted over the course of two days, killed, and her body was disposed of in a creek not far from her abduction site. Her killer did all of these things without leaving any evidence, and slipped away. What isn't known is who did those things to her? Was it someone she knew? Had that person been watching her? Was this all really the result of chance and opportunity? One can hope that these questions, and more, will be answered one day but with each passing day the possibility that they never will be becomes all the more real.
It has been 24 years since Amber Hagerman was abducted and murdered yet her legacy lives on.
Amber’s abduction and murder was the impetus for the creation for the AMBER Alert System. This is a coordinated effort between law enforcement, radio, television, and cellphone broadcast systems to alert the general public in the region of an abduction to the incident and any information that law enforcement has on the abduction such as their physical description as well as the description of the vehicle they were last seen with. This system has resulted in the safe return of almost 1,000 children in the United States since its inception as a regional program in 1997, then national (and international) in 2000 however it is also under scrutiny for saving so few and being so annoying as an alert results in an alarm blaring through the device that receives it, and for saving so few. Critics question whether it saving just one life is worth it, is saving so few worth it?
I say yes.

Sources
Amber Hagerman
Arlington police mum about whether DNA evidence exist in unsolved Amber Hagerman case
CRIME HUNTER: Sleep interrupted? Think about Amber Hagerman Toronto Sun
[APD "Missing" flyer for Amber Haggerman, 1996] - Side 1 of 1 - The Portal to Texas History
AA28.pdf
Gale In Context: Biography - Document - Body of Kidnapped Texas Girl Is Found
Body of Girl Who Was Dragged Screaming Off Bicycle Is Found - Los Angeles Times
How Were Amber Alerts Created? The Amber Hagerman Cold Case - A&E
Child abuse symposium speaker tells of similar abduction/murder cases with different endings - al.com
Richard Lee Franks
Medical examiner: Remains are those of missing girl - Plainview Herald
Richard Lee Franks Texas Prison Inmates The Texas Tribune
FRANKS v. STATE FindLaw
Family prepares to bury girl who was abducted five years ago - Midland Reporter-Telegram
FBI, Texas Rangers investigating death of 6-year-old girl in Saginaw Fort Worth Star-Telegram
Terapon Adhahn
Adhahn pleads guilty to murder of Tacoma girl, 12 The Seattle Times
Killer of Tacoma child reveals motive in papers The Seattle Times
Terapon Adhahn pleads guilty to rape, murder of Zina Linnik HeraldNet.com
Child abduction-rape investigation widens - seattlepi.com
Heidi Seeman and Erica Botello
August marks 30 years since disappearances of Heidi Seeman, Erica Botello
1990 kidnapping, murder of two San Antonio girls still unsolved
submitted by TheMidnightArchive to u/TheMidnightArchive [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 06:06 AetherNugget "I don't care that your mom is hurt, get your priorities straight!"

So this happened about a year or so ago, but I was reminded about it earlier today while speaking to my old boss on Facebook.
Before I get started, I want to apologize if this doesn't qualify as Malicious Compliance...it starts off weird, but the compliance is definitely there!! So, here are the people involved:
Me: me...of course
Dan: my old boss (name changed, of course)
Karen: HIS boss...again, name changed
So, now that the roles are laid out, here we go! Warning, this is kinda long, so TL;DR at the bottom.
I used to work as the residential manager of a house for people with special needs. I had previously worked in direct care and managed a house with a different agency, but moved to this new agency for a variety of different reasons. I've always worked in this field - I still do - and consider it my calling. It's very difficult work managing the house, as not only do you have to remember everything about each of the residents (referred to as "the guys), but you ALSO have to set the staffing schedule.
Now, according to Karen, I had been hired to "fix this house up." For a bit of background on the house, it had only been opened for about a year and the guys had just met when they moved in, so they didn't know each other very well and were constantly making each other angry. Most staff members weren't sure how to work with them due to the lack of training and lack of understanding of their unique personalities, so they just kinda let the guys do whatever they wanted. Beyond that, there was NO accountability...for example, there was a house credit card that was to be used for food and another to be used for items like soap and cleaners. There was NO way to keep track of purchases because staff hadn't been trained on how to sign the cards in and out, how to store receipts, and what to do with the card logs. Needless to say, the house was a MESS from a managerial standpoint when I got there, and they had gone through 6 managers in the one year they had been open.
As soon as I took the position, I began learning everything I could about the guys (from parents, old documentation, and contacts with their previous staff) and subsequently training my staff on what I learned. I also set concrete processes of documenting money spent, med administration, and training logs (because, yes...Karen hadn't instituted ANY training logs...so there was no proof that training had even happened). All of this work helped the house a LOT and set us up in a good place...but it came at the price of almost all of my free time; between all of the work I put in setting up systems in the house and all of the forced overtime I had to work (when someone calls out or doesn't show, someone else needs to stay to fill that spot) I ended up routinely working between 70 and 100 hours every week...without ANY overtime pay. Karen said that she would be there to step in if Dan and I needed something, but never ONCE helped. This is important.
Now all of that was basically just to say that I put in WORK for that job. Here's where Karen comes in...it's gonna start weird, but it circles around so bare with me.
I want to start by saying that Karen is beautiful...like REALLY beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that her boyfriend in corporate just HAD to give her a director's position as SOON as they started dating...that's a different story, though.
ANYWAY Karen had a habit of flirting and making it VERY obvious that she was doing so. She would drop things on the ground while speaking with me and then bend down slowly in front of me to pick it up while wearing short skirts with tight thongs...I never complained, but it did seem a bit unprofessional. At first I thought she was being overly friendly, then I realized that she was hitting on me and using her sexuality to get me to do more work around the job. I'm used to that kinda thing happening in this field, but Karen is by far the worst offender. It kinda came to a head one day when she made a comment about bigger guys "being her type." Being a bigger guy, I kinda picked up on it and made a comment about the girl I had just started dating the time. She laughed it off and said that "there was no title involved" in my relationship so she didn't care, but I said that I did...she backed off, but she was never really friendly with me again. Things started to go downhill once she realized that she couldn't control me like that, which was fine with me.
Things were calm and the house was running smoothly (with normal hiccups), but fate likes to strike at the worst times...I got a call from my mom basically as soon as I got to work one day at like 8am, saying that she had tripped over my ridiculously hyper dog and fell, and she was having a hard time breathing. I called Karen to tell her I was leaving and then rushed home. You'd think that someone would respond with empathy, but I was met with a cold "you'd better be back later today." Ok, whatever, she's probably having a bad morning.
I take my mom to the walk-in orthopedic clinic about a half-hour away, and after a two hour wait they finally saw her and ordered x-rays...problem is that they don't do x-rays on site, so we had to go to another orthopedic clinic to get them done and read. I called Karen en route to the second clinic and filled her in...she told me that I had work to do and that I'd better get back as soon as I could. After another half-hour long drive and another two hours waiting for the x-rays to be done, we sit and wait for them to call us back in to have them read. This is where it goes south.
Karen calls me and I run outside to take the call. Here's an approximation of the conversation.
Karen: Where the hell are you?
Me: I'm at the doctor with my mom...waiting for x-rays to be-
Karen, cutting me off: You said you would be quick
Me: I had no idea it would take this long, I-
Karen: Save it, you're probably just trying to get a free day off! You really have to get your priorities straight, you have no idea how lazy you look!
Me, yelling now: So...I work 90 hour weeks and I'm lazy? I fix the mess you allowed to build up and can't take my f-ing mother to the doctor for an emergency without being yelled at?
Karen: Don't you-
Me, cutting her off: Nah, I think you're right, I have to prioritize. Consider this my two week notice.
Karen: But I-
Me: *click*
I was shaking, but it felt great! She wanted me to prioritize...so I did. The job was suddenly MUCH less important to me. I then found out that my mom had cracked her sternum and bruised a rib...less great.
In speaking with Dan about the situation recently, I found out some fun things:
- My replacement has no idea what they're doing. They show up drunk/high, have no idea how to relate to the guys, and the staff don't respect them at all
- My replacement's incompetence cost Dan his job...all of the work I had done to set up the systems for money management and medication administration was just tossed because replacement didn't want to keep up with it...so EVERYTHING is back to the way it was before I got there.
- Half of the staff left, and the new staff have no idea what they're doing because there is - once again - no training for them.
It's gratifying to know that the work I was doing was so necessary, but I do feel bad about the guys and think about them often.
TL;DR: I worked between 70-100 hours each week to build a solid basis of staff training, money management, and accountability only to be told that my "priorities weren't right" when I chose to bring my mother to the hospital during work hours for for what turned out to be a cracked sternum and bruised rib.
EDIT Thanks for all the comments everyone! A lot of you are concerned about the guys and say I should report the situation. I’ve mentioned on a few comments that I reported everything when I first got to that job, and that I’m going to report what I know now because it’s just not right...or legal. Thanks for all the kind words and support!
submitted by AetherNugget to MaliciousCompliance [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 05:24 dtierneyt Anyone notice CVTD bus drivers not wearing masks? Let's discuss.

Anyone notice CVTD bus drivers not wearing masks? Let's discuss.
On the 7 and 1 bus lines today at around 3pm I noticed neither bus driver wore a mask.
Here's what UTA said about wearing masks..
The buses were stuffed with High School kids. They were wearing masks but masks only protect when everyone wears them. If all these kids can wear a mask a bus driver can wear a mask. How do you value 1 bus driver's perceived sense of personal freedom over the lives of the children in our community, and by extension their families.
Here is my opinion in image form. I have to call it my "opinion." It's truly an analogy used to translate a fact to a large population of you folks who favor ideology and the false idea of how this issue somehow equates to your "personal freedom."
Pissing yourself is always a better choice than pissing on someone else. If you're in to \"piss play\" try a dating site. :)
submitted by dtierneyt to Logan [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 04:30 BladeRunner2098 How does anyone even meet organically anymore? I'm feeling completely hopeless at dating prospects.

In the modern world, people are so accustomed to being able to "pre-screen" anyone online, especially with dating site profiles. It's gotten so bad that any kind and genuine attempt to interact with a stranger is met with you being thought of as a creep. The only places this is somewhat normalized is at bars or clubs, but those aren't the kinds of people you want to date, long term especially. Due to the thirst and desperation of men, they wouldn't think this, but understandably women do think this the other way around.
So what option does that leave you? The toxic cancer branded as dating apps. There's a reason why they always have the same people on them year after year. Every so often a gem may pop through, but good luck. I'm considered to be an attractive guy, to the point where I've had people think I'm fake. I have my own place and vehicle, can cook, have other talents, and work out regularly with a healthy diet. Overall a good personable personality because I believe in being good to others. This isn't be tooting my own horn, just the person I've worked my butt off to become. Even I struggle to attract desirable people. I filtered my local search results to not included obese people or ones with kids and the results came back almost completely empty. The other few? Hookups, poly couples looking for group sex, and women trying to promote their Onlyfans. I live in a decent-sized city too, so I tried out other popular dating apps only to see the same crowds, but smaller. This isn't me being pessimistic or unrealistically picky. This is terrifying.
Before you chew my head off for my preferences/standards, know that I have reason. My city is spilling at the brim with single mothers. Why don't I want to date them? Been there, done that. You learn to love and become attached to their kids and vice versa, only for the relationship to end and have them torn out of your life forever with no legal right to see them again. It hurts too much. I don't mind a little extra and most women I've dated have been around that frame, but there's a huge difference between a little chub and flat-out obesity. I don't find it or the unhealthy lifestyles of it attractive. I want to date someone who cares about their body, health, and appearance. Same reason I don't want to date alcoholics, addicts, or people with zero ambition. Polyamory? I don't believe in it or find "ethical non-monogamy" to be ethical. I don't have any desire to share my partners or be shared. Women simply looking to hookup are unattractive to me because I know the second they hit the wall and/or pop out a couple kids from some deadbeat they'll finally be looking to "settle down" and ask "where have all the good men gone?". I've managed to date a number of them and they couldn't be faithful to save their lives. I detest sex work and the unhealthy culture it's created so it goes without saying I have no interest in dating sex workers. No, you can't be"faithful" while spreading your snatch on camera for strangers. Die mad, but I am more than allowed to have traditional preferences. None of this is asking too much. The fact that normal is no longer normal is also scary.
Can't date co-workers without risking losing your job should things be sour or causing drama. Not to mention anyone worth dating is already happily taken or in long terms. Even when they become single, reliable and safe is boring, so if that's you then you have no shot. How about clubs? Same thing. I'm in a number of different social groups from community theatre to charity work, and it's the same situation. Older, younger, it's the same story.
Had a seemingly amazing date last night with a girl who claimed to "not be about that hookup life" and we talked for hours because we had a bunch of obscure stuff in common, watched old 50s movies, and she said she had a "great night" before having to go home. No s*x, but she kissed me. I felt I maybe found the ideal match, and guess what happened? Within 2 minutes of leaving she ummatched me and blocked my number. I am completely dumbfounded.
How the hell do people do it? How can you organically meet someone without these horrid apps? I feel like I've done everything but nothing good has come up. This is starting to feel like a hopeless endeavor.
submitted by BladeRunner2098 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 03:53 kittyaphrodite Guide to Dressing Romantics

Hey guys- I just wrote this post on vindicta but I thought it would also be helpful to post here- with the caveat that it is just my thoughts and experiences!
hey guys! This took a while of thinking to get done but I hope it helps!
The first step to being able to effectively style yourself is to find out your kibbe type. Here is a link to the test I took- https://theconceptwardrobe.com/kibbe-body-types/the-kibbe-body-type-test. I think its all the better the less preconceived notions you have about kibbe as your opinion could become clouded and you could suffer type resistance- as in, you want to be one body type but you really are another. I think the kibbe system is great because its not based in making you feel like shit about yourself. Every single type has universally-considered gorgeous and beautiful women. It is also about being honest to yourself. I am about 5’0- I will NEVER be a tall supermodel. It’s just not happening. And that’s fine! Look at the women you are in the category with and see how beautiful they are. That being said, I am considered a romantic and that’s what this guide will be tailored toward. Here is the full outline of kibbes romantic section in his book Metamorphosis- https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/seasonalcolokibbe-s-romantic-t1990.html. By the way, for whatever result you get on the kibbe test, if you google “tapatalk (your kibbe type)” you should find your own chapter results.
I feel I finally have a style and idea of how things work for my body which is petite and curvy. I think it does feel like a niche as curvy doesn’t necessarily mean a larger size, I am a size 6. I prefer to include real recommendations into my posts cause I feel it takes a lot of legwork out and is more helpful that way. I wouldn’t feel comfortable giving recs to people with different body types and have you buy something garbage!
also, as apart of this pre-styling guide- learn your color season. I don’t have any great links but here on the subreddit are many great posts that can point you in the right direction. Of course, is it law to not wear purple as a warm spring? No, of course not. However, it can help point you in the right direction in clothes you might be interested in buying and trying to pick the best colors for you. Finally, kibbe, color systems, and my suggestions aren’t law or things you have to do or else. Everyones different! Still, this stuff takes forever to learn and a lot of time and money to figure out and I think it helped me a ton and i hope it does for other people.
Guiding principles of Kibbe for Romantics (ripped from his book, you dont need to follow everything but i think it gives you a general idea of what to look for)
SHAPE: Shape is the key to your look! Whatever mood you want to express, in whatever situation your find yourself--work, play, or glamour--keep your shapes rounded with soft edges! Circles, ornate swirls, and intricate flowing shapes are the direct expression of your extreme Yin. Soft bouffants are also acceptable. Always maintain the hourglass figure!
Avoid: All straight lines. All sharp edges. All geometrics.
LINE AND SILHOUETTE Second only to shape in importance, your outline should always be soft and flowing silhouettes that showcase the lush curves of your body. Waste definition is essential, always, as is lots of gentle draping everywhere.
Avoid: All severe silhouettes. All tailored silhouettes. All straight lines with angular edges. All vertical lines that hid the waist. All unconstructed, boxy, or horizontal lines.
FABRIC: Lightweight fabrics that drape easily. Softly woven fabrics (challis, crepe, tropical-weight woolens, jersey). Ultrashiny fabrics (charmeuse, shantung, crepe de chine, metallics). Ultra soft of plush textures (suedes, velvets, boucle knits, angora). Sheer fabrics (chiffon, voile, batiste, handkerchief linen).
AVOID: Stiff fabrics. Heavyweight fabrics. Rough textures. Extreme matte-finished fabrics.
DETAIL Detail should be soft, intricate, ornate and feminine, with emphasis on framing your face. Oversized bows, flouncy ruffles, and delicate lace are always good choices as long as they are luscious and womanly, instead of "little-girlish." Necklines should be soft and draped with curved edges (ornate necklines are especially sophisticated). Shoulders should be curved, with round pads; shoulder tucks or gathers, leg o' mutton, and draped dolman styles are all appropriate. Sleeves should be tapered at the wrist with intricate buttons, or very soft and flowing. Any kind of sparkle is excellent (pearls, sequins, beading, etc.) The waistline should always be emphasized, with soft gathers, folds, draped sashes, and lightweight and supple belts to give a cinched effect. Belt buckles should always be intricate and feminine.
Avoid: All tailored, angular, or severe detail. All chunky, rough, or oversized detail. All geometric necklines. All sharp edges--pleats, square shoulder pads. All crisp detail--perky bows, tiny ruffles. All minimal or "no detail" looks.
Skirts: Should be kept full and flowing with soft gathers at the waist and uneven hemlines. Your version of the basic "straight skirt" is actually tulip shaped: full and gathered at the waist and tapered at the hemline, which is short. All flared styles are excellent, from trumpets and swings to any bias-cut or gored style. Lengths should be kept gracefully long on uneven hemlines (mid calf), and short on the tapered styles with an even hemline (mid kneecap).
Avoid: All straight and tailored skirts, A-lines, and pleats.
Pants: Should always be soft, draped, and showcase your luscious curves! Gathers at the waist and a tapered or pegged bottom are the best shape for you.
Avoid: Straight or tailored pants. sharp details (pleats, cuffs, pockets). Baggy, unconstructed styles.
Blouses: Soft, draped styles. Sophisticated flounces and fills. Any antique styles.
Avoid: All tailored styles.
Sweaters: Soft, fluffy knits. Clingy, draped knits. Plush knits. Short lengths with waist detail. Cowl necks.
Avoid: Skinny, ribbed knits. Thick, nubby knits. Oversized sweaters. Turtlenecks and long pullovers. Cardigans. Crew-necked shetlands.
DRESSES: Should always be feminine and flowing. Waist emphasis, ornate detail, and swirling or flouncey skirts.
Avoid: Stiff, structured, or tailored styles (coatdress, chemise, etc.). Straight styles with no waist. Shapeless, wide, or baggy dresses.
Basics Before Dressing
As youll be able to see- I do not follow every single rule he makes, and sometimes like things he says to avoid. These rules arent law but they should make you look twice at what you wear and if it works for you and how to make it work for you and your style. I break these rules plenty- just as long as I am maintaining the structure by waist emphasis and clothes choice (high waisted bottoms).
While you don’t have to follow the materials list directly, just try to pay attention to what the clothes are made of and prioritize non-polyester clothes. Don’t buy clothes that don’t suit you or don’t fit you in the hope that it one day magically will or that you will lose the weight. If you are losing weight rapidly, then wait a little before buying expensive new clothes and wait until you get to a more stable weight for you. The key factor is always, always, always waist emphasis! In every outfit strive to have waist definition be the key component.
Shapewear- a must
Shapewear is so crucial to a the more structured hourglass look. While you should be working out, there will always be lumps and bumps that you would like to be slimmed or rounded. Shapewear will do that for you. That snatched look you see on red carpets and celebrities is a large part due to shapewear- as many admit in interviews. Shapewear has the ability to make your outfits overall look more expensive and just better on you. Now, I bought skims full price and the quality sucks- my mid thigh shorts literally ripped on a date so that was great. Honestly, I would go for spanx. I thought they were so expensive for some reason. Because Spanx is kinda the OG of shapewear brands that we think of, they have such a large library that their sale section is pretty robust so you can pretty much get a lot of pieces like high waisted panties for 10 dollars or full body-thigh suits for $40 dollars. And ive never experienced ripping like I did with Skims. Sign up for the Spanx newsletter and youll get updates on deals every couple of weeks, including free shipping.
A really easy way to get into shapewear is buying the Spanx high waisted underwear. I would highly recommend in investing in shapewear panties/boyshorts. Its not much different than other types of underwear, smooths/diminishes on lower belly fat which most women have, and I got 3 for ten dollars each. I like the “everyday shaping” ones the best since they don’t look like shapewear necessarily and are pretty comfortable to wear around. I get black in all of these since it goes with my lingerie since im garbage at matching colors so I just get it all in black. Panties and boyshorts in shapewear can be worn with pretty much every outfit (so long as youre covered on your lower stomach. For tight dresses and skirts- you probably would want to get shapewear that would smooth your thighs and butt- as Ive noticed in a newer pencil skirt I bought, just the boyshorts aint cutting it. It just looks a little lumpy without. I would highly recommend just buying sale spanx at their website- and in general try to look for styles that are still sold for full price on other parts of the site or are part of a collection, one off items aren’t as good. (ie, “retro panties” are not as good as the “everyday shaping line, boyshorts”). Find the areas where you need it too- a full body suit is expensive and you probably don’t need it- if your thighs aren’t perfectly shaped, or you have some belly fat, buy shapewear to help those areas. Shoot for a level 2/3 for max effectiveness.
General Principles
Now for the main event. You need to learn your measurements. Buy a simple measuring tape and do a full set of measurements for your body. Weight hangs so differently on us as we aren’t bone thin, so just generically buying a “small, medium, or large” just wont cut it unless you want to waste money. I have a pretty unpopular opinion- I think you have to pay more for clothes with this body type than others. Fast fashion is pretty much wasted money for us unless youre buying cheap camis and tops, even then, exercise caution. Its just not made for us. It costs a lot more money to cut clothes for curves than a pretty uniform straight shape. For this reason, I would recommend looking into vintage-reproduction clothes. Romantic body types haven’t been “in” since about the 1950s as the predominant style. While the hourglass type has always been in style, clothes that suit the romantic have not necessarily been. Tall, thin, angular are more trendy- and traditionally romantic clothes are made for non-romantic body types (polly). Therefore, I find that vintage reproduction clothes just look better on my body- wiggle dresses, cigarette pants, those are the things that look the best on me. I don’t want to look kitchy or like im wearing a costume- these cuts just look the best. The brands I pretty much only shop from now are Vixen by Micheline Pitt, La Femme en Noir (her goth brand), and I peruse other sites like Pinup girl and Stop Staring!. I use mostly micheline pitt because I feel her clothes are more “safe” for me to buy and fit my general style.
HIT UP POSHMARK for these clothes! Legit! I love buying secondhand clothes since I feel its more environmentally conscious and I love a sale. I usually look up “pin up couture,” “stop staring,” “micheline pitt,” and “la femme en noir” maybe twice a week to see if theres any good sales going on for pieces on my wishlist. Always make an offer! You might as well anyway and ive gotten bomb deals by going maybe 20% lower than the asking price on a piece.
Style
Style is kind of the most important piece here because you want to bring the principles of Kibbe into your style and pieces you love. If you love tanks with shorts, transition into more high waisted shorts (with belt?) and add a crop top or tuck a form fitting tank into the shorts. I used to be scene so I have a soft spot for that alt goth look still. I like to use Micheline Pitt for more basics (black crop with black capris with belt is life) whereas La Femme is used more for more gothy alt vibes without bordering on cartoony or cheap looking. La femme is pretty intensely boob-centric- just keep in mind (im about a 36d) if that’s something that makes you uncomfortable. Also, some of the styles in LFEN have a long vertical line with not a lot of waist emphasis is probably not for us (art deco collection for instance). I think it plays to romantic ideals great though- lace and little feminine detail is recommended for us. Just as a side recommendation, wait for sale! Legit, Micheline has sales like every other month so I just wait for that since some of the pieces get pricy. Keep in mind though the quality is always consistent and the sizing is consistent throughout the line which is great- as long as you have your measurements on hand you will have a good fit.
Jeans/ Pants/ Skirts/ Shorts
Jeans are tricky for curvieslim thick/romantics. You are pretty much in a struggle between shape and longevity (cotton) vs stretch. When you get 100% cotton jeans like a Levis 501, youre getting shape and a very long shelf life- but it isn’t really for curvy girls. Im a size 6 pretty much across the board in Levis EXCEPT for the 501s. In them, I literally go up to a size 12. TWELVE! Needless to say, I didn’t buy them. On the other hand, stretch is good to have BUT it makes the fabric last a lot less and I have destroyed so many American Eagle jeans with my thighs before I got into Levis wherein of maybe 25-30 pairs, only two have ripped in the thigh for me (I think 720s if you care, of course highest amount of stretch to cotton ratio). The golden ratio for me is about 90% cotton, 10% stretch. It gives enough construction and shape and longevity to a pair of jeans while still being comfortable and having that give. That’s a ratio that fits my fave pair of jeans, the Levis Wedgie Skinny fit which, if you can find in a non-plus size, you should at least try on. The wedgie fit is meant to look similar to a more vintage fit but it also shapes your butt and tapers off at a short length. The more common pair online is the plain Wedgie fit, which is like 98% stretch which isn’t my ideal but I do have a few. They just need to be broken in a little and follow the size chart. Wherever you buy jeans you should probably go in person if possible just to see how the stores standard jeans fit and how you like them. The golden ratio for us when it comes to jeans is, for me, high waisted + room in butt and thigh + tapered/skinny ankle. A bonus would be a lower stretch amount 15% and under I would recommend.
When it comes to regular work pants, I use Micheline Pitts cigarette pants and her capris. The fit is really good and theyre pretty flattering with the high waist emphasis and cut. And her capris! I thought all capris would make me look like a middle aged mom- hers are incredible. They give a super flattering cut and make your waist look tiny and ass look all round. I would avoid palazzo and wide cut pants- they just make me look fat. Same thing with shorts- I have Michelines and the Levis Wedgie fit shorts which have a high waist and cut off mid thigh and I think theyre pretty great, especially paired with a tight belt around the waist. Kibbe doesn’t recommend pencil skirts but I think theyre pretty hot with a long sleeve top and belt (with shapewear!). I wouldn’t necessarily recommend mini-skirts (which I love) because I personally haven’t found any that aren’t waaaaaaaay too short for me with my smaller waist and larger butt and thighs.
Tops
Crop tops are ideal for your body if you can pull them off with a high waisted short or pant. Tucking longer shirts into your pants and adding a belt to cinch the waist is a simple but effective romantic outfit. I prefer a longer sleeve, ¾ lengths looks great on romantics as well as a slightly longer short sleeve than you would see typically in fast fashion. It is recommended in kibbe to avoid oversized tops, despite how cute and comfy they are. It does make you look bigger. Lace detailing is great, corseted details, just some very femme tops look great as well
Dresses
I love a wiggle dress on a curvy girl. I think theyre so sexy and make you just look so classy but have that wow factor. I think they are hands down the best dresses for romantics. They have that built in shape that compliments our curves so nicely, and mixed with a belt and shapewear just create this beautiful look. An A-line fit and flare dress also looks nice but is a bit more “cute” than sexy.
Notes I'm sure I missed out on a lot of good points but I feel this is a great starting point for helping romantics. Ill post my fave pieces below- thanks!
https://stopstaring.com/collections/hottest-sellers/products/million-dollar-baby-black (i found on poshmark for like 70)
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/pre-order-decadence-wiggle-dress-in-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/vintage-cigarette-pants-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/pre-order-miss-kitty-maneater-wiggle-dress-in-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/vixen-swing-dress-in-raven-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt-1
https://lafemmeennoir.net/collections/shop-la-femme-en-noiproducts/copy-of-la-dentelle-dress
https://lafemmeennoir.net/products/pre-order-wicked-web-dress?variant=16415989301282
EDIT: Disclaimer
submitted by kittyaphrodite to Kibbe [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 03:46 kittyaphrodite Guide to Dressing Romantic Body Types: slim thick, curvy, petite

hey guys! This took a while of thinking to get done but I hope it helps!
The first step to being able to effectively style yourself is to find out your kibbe type. Here is a link to the test I took- https://theconceptwardrobe.com/kibbe-body-types/the-kibbe-body-type-test. I think its all the better the less preconceived notions you have about kibbe as your opinion could become clouded and you could suffer type resistance- as in, you want to be one body type but you really are another. I think the kibbe system is great because its not based in making you feel like shit about yourself. Every single type has universally-considered gorgeous and beautiful women. It is also about being honest to yourself. I am about 5’0- I will NEVER be a tall supermodel. It’s just not happening. And that’s fine! Look at the women you are in the category with and see how beautiful they are. That being said, I am considered a romantic and that’s what this guide will be tailored toward. Here is the full outline of kibbes romantic section in his book Metamorphosis- https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/seasonalcolokibbe-s-romantic-t1990.html. By the way, for whatever result you get on the kibbe test, if you google “tapatalk (your kibbe type)” you should find your own chapter results.
I feel I finally have a style and idea of how things work for my body which is petite and curvy. I think it does feel like a niche as curvy doesn’t necessarily mean a larger size, I am a size 6. I prefer to include real recommendations into my posts cause I feel it takes a lot of legwork out and is more helpful that way. I wouldn’t feel comfortable giving recs to people with different body types and have you buy something garbage!
also, as apart of this pre-styling guide- learn your color season. I don’t have any great links but here on the subreddit are many great posts that can point you in the right direction. Of course, is it law to not wear purple as a warm spring? No, of course not. However, it can help point you in the right direction in clothes you might be interested in buying and trying to pick the best colors for you. Finally, kibbe, color systems, and my suggestions aren’t law or things you have to do or else. Everyones different! Still, this stuff takes forever to learn and a lot of time and money to figure out and I think it helped me a ton and i hope it does for other people.
Guiding principles of Kibbe for Romantics (ripped from his book, you dont need to follow everything but i think it gives you a general idea of what to look for)
SHAPE: Shape is the key to your look! Whatever mood you want to express, in whatever situation your find yourself--work, play, or glamour--keep your shapes rounded with soft edges! Circles, ornate swirls, and intricate flowing shapes are the direct expression of your extreme Yin. Soft bouffants are also acceptable. Always maintain the hourglass figure!
Avoid: All straight lines. All sharp edges. All geometrics.
LINE AND SILHOUETTE Second only to shape in importance, your outline should always be soft and flowing silhouettes that showcase the lush curves of your body. Waste definition is essential, always, as is lots of gentle draping everywhere.
Avoid: All severe silhouettes. All tailored silhouettes. All straight lines with angular edges. All vertical lines that hid the waist. All unconstructed, boxy, or horizontal lines.
FABRIC: Lightweight fabrics that drape easily. Softly woven fabrics (challis, crepe, tropical-weight woolens, jersey). Ultrashiny fabrics (charmeuse, shantung, crepe de chine, metallics). Ultra soft of plush textures (suedes, velvets, boucle knits, angora). Sheer fabrics (chiffon, voile, batiste, handkerchief linen).
AVOID: Stiff fabrics. Heavyweight fabrics. Rough textures. Extreme matte-finished fabrics.
DETAIL Detail should be soft, intricate, ornate and feminine, with emphasis on framing your face. Oversized bows, flouncy ruffles, and delicate lace are always good choices as long as they are luscious and womanly, instead of "little-girlish." Necklines should be soft and draped with curved edges (ornate necklines are especially sophisticated). Shoulders should be curved, with round pads; shoulder tucks or gathers, leg o' mutton, and draped dolman styles are all appropriate. Sleeves should be tapered at the wrist with intricate buttons, or very soft and flowing. Any kind of sparkle is excellent (pearls, sequins, beading, etc.) The waistline should always be emphasized, with soft gathers, folds, draped sashes, and lightweight and supple belts to give a cinched effect. Belt buckles should always be intricate and feminine.
Avoid: All tailored, angular, or severe detail. All chunky, rough, or oversized detail. All geometric necklines. All sharp edges--pleats, square shoulder pads. All crisp detail--perky bows, tiny ruffles. All minimal or "no detail" looks.
Skirts: Should be kept full and flowing with soft gathers at the waist and uneven hemlines. Your version of the basic "straight skirt" is actually tulip shaped: full and gathered at the waist and tapered at the hemline, which is short. All flared styles are excellent, from trumpets and swings to any bias-cut or gored style. Lengths should be kept gracefully long on uneven hemlines (mid calf), and short on the tapered styles with an even hemline (mid kneecap).
Avoid: All straight and tailored skirts, A-lines, and pleats.
Pants: Should always be soft, draped, and showcase your luscious curves! Gathers at the waist and a tapered or pegged bottom are the best shape for you.
Avoid: Straight or tailored pants. sharp details (pleats, cuffs, pockets). Baggy, unconstructed styles.
Blouses: Soft, draped styles. Sophisticated flounces and fills. Any antique styles.
Avoid: All tailored styles.
Sweaters: Soft, fluffy knits. Clingy, draped knits. Plush knits. Short lengths with waist detail. Cowl necks.
Avoid: Skinny, ribbed knits. Thick, nubby knits. Oversized sweaters. Turtlenecks and long pullovers. Cardigans. Crew-necked shetlands.
DRESSES: Should always be feminine and flowing. Waist emphasis, ornate detail, and swirling or flouncey skirts.
Avoid: Stiff, structured, or tailored styles (coatdress, chemise, etc.). Straight styles with no waist. Shapeless, wide, or baggy dresses.
Basics Before Dressing
As youll be able to see- I do not follow every single rule he makes, and sometimes like things he says to avoid. These rules arent law but they should make you look twice at what you wear and if it works for you and how to make it work for you and your style. I break these rules plenty- just as long as I am maintaining the structure by waist emphasis and clothes choice (high waisted bottoms).
While you don’t have to follow the materials list directly, just try to pay attention to what the clothes are made of and prioritize non-polyester clothes. Don’t buy clothes that don’t suit you or don’t fit you in the hope that it one day magically will or that you will lose the weight. If you are losing weight rapidly, then wait a little before buying expensive new clothes and wait until you get to a more stable weight for you. The key factor is always, always, always waist emphasis! In every outfit strive to have waist definition be the key component.
Shapewear- a must
Shapewear is so crucial to a the more structured hourglass look. While you should be working out, there will always be lumps and bumps that you would like to be slimmed or rounded. Shapewear will do that for you. That snatched look you see on red carpets and celebrities is a large part due to shapewear- as many admit in interviews. Shapewear has the ability to make your outfits overall look more expensive and just better on you. Now, I bought skims full price and the quality sucks- my mid thigh shorts literally ripped on a date so that was great. Honestly, I would go for spanx. I thought they were so expensive for some reason. Because Spanx is kinda the OG of shapewear brands that we think of, they have such a large library that their sale section is pretty robust so you can pretty much get a lot of pieces like high waisted panties for 10 dollars or full body-thigh suits for $40 dollars. And ive never experienced ripping like I did with Skims. Sign up for the Spanx newsletter and youll get updates on deals every couple of weeks, including free shipping.
A really easy way to get into shapewear is buying the Spanx high waisted underwear. I would highly recommend in investing in shapewear panties/boyshorts. Its not much different than other types of underwear, smooths/diminishes on lower belly fat which most women have, and I got 3 for ten dollars each. I like the “everyday shaping” ones the best since they don’t look like shapewear necessarily and are pretty comfortable to wear around. I get black in all of these since it goes with my lingerie since im garbage at matching colors so I just get it all in black. Panties and boyshorts in shapewear can be worn with pretty much every outfit (so long as youre covered on your lower stomach. For tight dresses and skirts- you probably would want to get shapewear that would smooth your thighs and butt- as Ive noticed in a newer pencil skirt I bought, just the boyshorts aint cutting it. It just looks a little lumpy without. I would highly recommend just buying sale spanx at their website- and in general try to look for styles that are still sold for full price on other parts of the site or are part of a collection, one off items aren’t as good. (ie, “retro panties” are not as good as the “everyday shaping line, boyshorts”). Find the areas where you need it too- a full body suit is expensive and you probably don’t need it- if your thighs aren’t perfectly shaped, or you have some belly fat, buy shapewear to help those areas. Shoot for a level 2/3 for max effectiveness.
General Principles
Now for the main event. You need to learn your measurements. Buy a simple measuring tape and do a full set of measurements for your body. Weight hangs so differently on us as we aren’t bone thin, so just generically buying a “small, medium, or large” just wont cut it unless you want to waste money. I have a pretty unpopular opinion- I think you have to pay more for clothes with this body type than others. Fast fashion is pretty much wasted money for us unless youre buying cheap camis and tops, even then, exercise caution. Its just not made for us. It costs a lot more money to cut clothes for curves than a pretty uniform straight shape. For this reason, I would recommend looking into vintage-reproduction clothes. Romantic body types haven’t been “in” since about the 1950s as the predominant style. While the hourglass type has always been in style, clothes that suit the romantic have not necessarily been. Tall, thin, angular are more trendy- and traditionally romantic clothes are made for non-romantic body types (polly). Therefore, I find that vintage reproduction clothes just look better on my body- wiggle dresses, cigarette pants, those are the things that look the best on me. I don’t want to look kitchy or like im wearing a costume- these cuts just look the best. The brands I pretty much only shop from now are Vixen by Micheline Pitt, La Femme en Noir (her goth brand), and I peruse other sites like Pinup girl and Stop Staring!. I use mostly micheline pitt because I feel her clothes are more “safe” for me to buy and fit my general style.
HIT UP POSHMARK for these clothes! Legit! I love buying secondhand clothes since I feel its more environmentally conscious and I love a sale. I usually look up “pin up couture,” “stop staring,” “micheline pitt,” and “la femme en noir” maybe twice a week to see if theres any good sales going on for pieces on my wishlist. Always make an offer! You might as well anyway and ive gotten bomb deals by going maybe 20% lower than the asking price on a piece.
Style
Style is kind of the most important piece here because you want to bring the principles of Kibbe into your style and pieces you love. If you love tanks with shorts, transition into more high waisted shorts (with belt?) and add a crop top or tuck a form fitting tank into the shorts. I used to be scene so I have a soft spot for that alt goth look still. I like to use Micheline Pitt for more basics (black crop with black capris with belt is life) whereas La Femme is used more for more gothy alt vibes without bordering on cartoony or cheap looking. La femme is pretty intensely boob-centric- just keep in mind (im about a 36d) if that’s something that makes you uncomfortable. Also, some of the styles in LFEN have a long vertical line with not a lot of waist emphasis is probably not for us (art deco collection for instance). I think it plays to romantic ideals great though- lace and little feminine detail is recommended for us. Just as a side recommendation, wait for sale! Legit, Micheline has sales like every other month so I just wait for that since some of the pieces get pricy. Keep in mind though the quality is always consistent and the sizing is consistent throughout the line which is great- as long as you have your measurements on hand you will have a good fit.
Jeans/ Pants/ Skirts/ Shorts
Jeans are tricky for curvieslim thick/romantics. You are pretty much in a struggle between shape and longevity (cotton) vs stretch. When you get 100% cotton jeans like a Levis 501, youre getting shape and a very long shelf life- but it isn’t really for curvy girls. Im a size 6 pretty much across the board in Levis EXCEPT for the 501s. In them, I literally go up to a size 12. TWELVE! Needless to say, I didn’t buy them. On the other hand, stretch is good to have BUT it makes the fabric last a lot less and I have destroyed so many American Eagle jeans with my thighs before I got into Levis wherein of maybe 25-30 pairs, only two have ripped in the thigh for me (I think 720s if you care, of course highest amount of stretch to cotton ratio). The golden ratio for me is about 90% cotton, 10% stretch. It gives enough construction and shape and longevity to a pair of jeans while still being comfortable and having that give. That’s a ratio that fits my fave pair of jeans, the Levis Wedgie Skinny fit which, if you can find in a non-plus size, you should at least try on. The wedgie fit is meant to look similar to a more vintage fit but it also shapes your butt and tapers off at a short length. The more common pair online is the plain Wedgie fit, which is like 98% stretch which isn’t my ideal but I do have a few. They just need to be broken in a little and follow the size chart. Wherever you buy jeans you should probably go in person if possible just to see how the stores standard jeans fit and how you like them. The golden ratio for us when it comes to jeans is, for me, high waisted + room in butt and thigh + tapered/skinny ankle. A bonus would be a lower stretch amount 15% and under I would recommend.
When it comes to regular work pants, I use Micheline Pitts cigarette pants and her capris. The fit is really good and theyre pretty flattering with the high waist emphasis and cut. And her capris! I thought all capris would make me look like a middle aged mom- hers are incredible. They give a super flattering cut and make your waist look tiny and ass look all round. I would avoid palazzo and wide cut pants- they just make me look fat. Same thing with shorts- I have Michelines and the Levis Wedgie fit shorts which have a high waist and cut off mid thigh and I think theyre pretty great, especially paired with a tight belt around the waist. Kibbe doesn’t recommend pencil skirts but I think theyre pretty hot with a long sleeve top and belt (with shapewear!). I wouldn’t necessarily recommend mini-skirts (which I love) because I personally haven’t found any that aren’t waaaaaaaay too short for me with my smaller waist and larger butt and thighs.
Tops
Crop tops are ideal for your body if you can pull them off with a high waisted short or pant. Tucking longer shirts into your pants and adding a belt to cinch the waist is a simple but effective romantic outfit. I prefer a longer sleeve, ¾ lengths looks great on romantics as well as a slightly longer short sleeve than you would see typically in fast fashion. It is recommended in kibbe to avoid oversized tops, despite how cute and comfy they are. It does make you look bigger. Lace detailing is great, corseted details, just some very femme tops look great as well
Dresses
I love a wiggle dress on a curvy girl. I think theyre so sexy and make you just look so classy but have that wow factor. I think they are hands down the best dresses for romantics. They have that built in shape that compliments our curves so nicely, and mixed with a belt and shapewear just create this beautiful look. An A-line fit and flare dress also looks nice but is a bit more “cute” than sexy.
Notes I'm sure I missed out on a lot of good points but I feel this is a great starting point for helping romantics. Ill post my fave pieces below- thanks!
https://stopstaring.com/collections/hottest-sellers/products/million-dollar-baby-black (i found on poshmark for like 70)
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/pre-order-decadence-wiggle-dress-in-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/vintage-cigarette-pants-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/pre-order-miss-kitty-maneater-wiggle-dress-in-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt
https://www.michelinepitt.com/collections/all/products/vixen-swing-dress-in-raven-black-vixen-by-micheline-pitt-1
https://lafemmeennoir.net/collections/shop-la-femme-en-noiproducts/copy-of-la-dentelle-dress
https://lafemmeennoir.net/products/pre-order-wicked-web-dress?variant=16415989301282
submitted by kittyaphrodite to Vindicta [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 02:43 AHiddenRareGem 31 [M4F] Boston / Providence - Nerdy Shy Guy Seeks Experience *Well Endowed

I'll try to keep this short but can be more in depth later if you’re interested. I'm 31 years old, 5'8" and 160 lbs. I guess you can say I’m a typical nerd into cons, video games and comic book movies. I go to the gym when I can to build muscle as I was always considered skinny and small in stature. But not in all places:)
The way I grew up really impacted who I am as a person. I was abused a lot as a child and it caused me to become a very nervous person. I spent most of my time alone and didn’t go out much and it’s kinda been that way since. Over the years I've opened up more with the help of therapy, but unfortunately my experience with women was non-existent until recently, when I had my very first date and passionate kiss with a woman. We began dating, but due to her difficult circumstance the relationship wasn’t healthy for either of us to continue.
I'm not sure if we will talk again but I miss not having someone to connect with. I fear that I will never have anything like that happen again and that kiss was dream like. I couldn't believe I was making out for the first time ever, I wanted more. I think about it a lot.
Dating apps and sites have been a real struggle for me and the experiences have been really discouraging, but trying to meet women in person is just as hard for me.
I'm grateful I had those experiences, but I refuse to wait another 30 years for it to happen again. So I’m posting here to seek guidance and discover things I never knew about myself. And hopefully develop meaningful connections along the way.
I made a profile to vent as my isolation brings me down so it helps putting myself out on here in this way.
If you are interested in talking more please don't be as shy as I have been all my life and message me.
submitted by AHiddenRareGem to bostonr4r [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 02:34 chatlunatique Follow-up: Potential match for Hawaii Jane Doe (found living, died 2013)

A few weeks ago, Johnjoishere (can't tag, sorry) posted about a Hawaii living doe who died in 2013. I'm making a new post here for follow-up discussion on a potential match to Sheila Lopes, a missing California woman.
This match may seem a bit of a long-shot, but there's just some overlapping attributes and inconsistencies with reporting that I believe merit a comparison.
FYI: I go into a bit of detail after the table about the comparisons, then dive into oddities about each woman in the longer part. Feel free to skip that if you want to keep discussion solely on the ID match.

Sheila Ann Lopes Hawaii Jane Doe (HJD)
Date Last Contact / Found 08-28-2008 04-27-2013
Location Escondido, CA Honolulu, HI
Age 71 55-65
Height 5'6 5'5 - 5'7
Weight 135 lbs 112 lbs
Hair / Eyes Grey / Blue Hazel / Hazel
Features Abdominal C-section scar. Face lift scar behind - L ear and R ear. There are no autopsy/physical notes provided for Hawaii Jane Doe.
Additional Notes Lopes suffers from Alzheimer's Disease and is considered a dependent adult as a result. She'd been having symptoms of the illness for about five years by 2008. She is mostly lucid, however, and she's in good health physically. She smokes cigarettes. She is originally from London, England and speaks with a slight British accent. She was schizophrenic and described as being very proper and having an English Canadian-like accent. She was an avid reader and was a smoker. She referred to herself as "Ah," with the sound being the "a" as in the pronunciation of the word "agreement."
Circumstances Charley Project: Lopes disappeared from her home in the 2100 block of Woodland Heights Glen in the 481-acre gated community of Emerald Heights in Escondido, California on August 28, 2008. Her husband saw her at home at about midnight.At 10:30 a.m., she wandered into a home where her son used to live, about a twenty-minute walk away, and the new owner told her to leave. The owner called the police that afternoon, after she realized Lopes was missing. She has never been heard from again.Lopes's niece's puppy was found on a nearby hill after Lopes vanished. It's possible she was taking the puppy for a walk early in the morning and got lost. She had wandered away from home before, but never for longer for several hours at a time. Her family planned to buy her a tracking device to wear, but she disappeared before they could get one. She is thought to have left on foot, as she has no access to a vehicle. An extensive search of the neighborhood turned up no sign of her. The Emerald Heights community has security cameras at the only entrance gate, but the cameras didn't film her leaving. Her case remains unsolved. Doe Network: "The unidentified, homeless woman was located living in Ala Moana Park. She was in need of medical attention and could not walk due to lack of strength. She was admitted into a state hospital where she received treatment until her death on April 27, 2013. Based on investigative conversations with local social service organizations, she had probably been in Hawaii for six to eight years prior to her discovery." NAMUS: "It is believed that she has been in Hawaii since 1994."
Clothing A gray cotton two-piece sweatsuit, a long-sleeved zippered teal-green shirt and matching pants, white canvas slip-on deck shoes, a gold bracelet on each wrist, a diamond wedding band, and a black pearl ring on her left hand. n/a
Images Pic 1, Pic 2 (~2008), Pic 3 Pic 1, Pic 2, Pic 3
NAMUS MP35144 UP15918
Rule Outs None None
Points of Comparison
I think there are physical consistencies between the two women, as well as some resemblance in facial features. The brow ridge and shape were what first caught my eye. Considering the impact that climate and aging can have, I also think there could be some similarities in nose shape (esp. HJD Pic 3 with Lopes' license pic).
After the eyebrows, the second point that stuck in my mind was that both are described as having a light British-ish accent.
Then there's HJD's schizophrenia, which I can imagine could be easily misdiagnosed for Alzheimer's.
Match Problems / Oddities
Dates could make/break this match. I don't know where the 1994 estimate comes from on NAMUS, but I just don't think this woman looks like she's weathered 20+ years in Hawaii. If we run with the 6-8 year estimate, then she'd be solidly in the range of Lopes' disappearance.
Second, please examine the background of the Escondido missing flyer (also Lopes Pic #2). I don't think this looks like SoCal, but it does look a whole lot like Hawaii.
Third, and this is what just weirded me the hell out, is that Lopes' husband's middle name is listed as "Honolulu".
-------
If you want to keep reading, I'll jump into the other weird inconsistencies that make both cases frustrating to follow.
Hawaii Jane Doe (HJD)
So, Kauai PD estimates HJD has been in Hawaii since ~2005/2007 (Doe Network) or since 1994 (NAMUS). She's found alive in Ala Moana Park (just NW of Waikiki) at some unknown point in time and taken to a state hospital, where she lived until her death. But then is presumably found again, this time as unrecognizable decomposed/putrefying remains? She's also listed in NAMUS as found in Lihue, Kauai, which explains why Kauai PD--rather than Honolulu PD--has her case. It does NOT, however, explain the state of her remains, nor why she was taken to a Kauai hospital if her condition was so poor upon initial discovery. Kauai has a much smaller hospital (Wilcox, I assume) with a handful (like maybe 10 max) psychiatric / long-term care beds. Honolulu, on the other hand, has a MUCH larger capacity distributed across several large health systems. Wilcox is also not a state hospital. The only state-run psychiatric facility is in Kaneohe, which is (like Honolulu) on O'ahu.
Sheila Ann Lopes
I also want to note the differences between Lopes' missing circumstances on different databases. Above is what appears on her Charley Project listing, sourced from several news articles and the CA AG office.
NAMUS simply says:
On 8-27-2008 Missing person last seen in Escondido, CA. Missing person has Alzheimers Disease - but mostly lucid.
NAMUS also lists that her sweatsuit was entirely teal (vs. grey with a teal t-shirt).
The Escondido Police flyer, alternatively, says:
May be wearing teal-green long-sleeve shirt and teal-green pants, or possibly purple/fuchsia silk jacket with small print and purple/fuchsia velour pants, with white canvas deck shoes.
Doe Network also has the teal sweatsuit listed, and lists her missing circumstances as:
Sheila Ann Lopes was last seen by her family around midnight at her home on Woodland Heights Glen in Escondido, California where she lived with her husband. She got up in the middle of the night and walked out the back door. About 10 a.m. the next day, Lopes apparently walked into a nearby house where her daughter used to live in the gated Emerald Heights neighborhood.
The startled resident told her to leave. Lopes has wandered away before, but only in the neighborhood, and a neighbor would walk her back home. The neighborhood is perched on a mountain, and steep slopes lead down to Woodland Parkway in eastern San Marcos and northwest Escondido.
According to the San Diego Union Tribune's reporting, her son-in-law acted as the family spokesperson. He relayed that the family believed she woke up in the pre-dawn hours to smoke a cigarette and take the puppy for a walk. It is his home--one which he formerly shared with Lopes' daughter--that Lopes tried to mistakenly enter sometime between 10am-11am the next day.
I cannot find any additional reporting beyond 2008 or evidence that any other family member spoke with the press.
submitted by chatlunatique to gratefuldoe [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 00:38 atokadelggon Updated Walmart Jargon, acronyms, initialisms, and information you should know

4 years ago, u/melantonpsn created a jargon list for use by this subreddit. Due to recent updates and changes in the company, I decided to update said list.
If you're still out there, melantonpsn, thank you for your hard work in creating the original list
This is mainly just a copy/paste of their original list, with the new changes added in along with things I've learned from personal experience. It may not be 100% correct, but that is where you come in! If you see anything on here that appears to be wrong, or don't see something that you feel should be, please let me know so I can update the list. This is meant to help everyone, especially new associates, so it is imperative that we have the correct information.

Without further ado, I present to you the list:
Types of Stores:
SC: A supercenter
Div 1: a smaller type of store. It carries less items and does not have all departments
NHM: Neighborhood Market
Sam's Club: A Walmart company that requires a membership to shop at
Store Positions
SM: the store manager. This is the highest role in stores. They are the ones in charge of the entire place.
SL: Store Lead. This position exists only in certain stores. They work directly opposite the store manager, helping to run the day to day operations of the store.
Coach: A salaried member of management who runs a wide area. The amount of coaches you have in your store will be determined by your store, as will what they are over. They report directly to the store manager.
Coach Trainee: An hourly member of management who is in training to become a Coach.
ASM: A salaried member of management who runs a specific area, much like a coach. Most of these positions were phased out with the introduction of the Coach role, but a few still remain. They report to the store leads or, in the absence of store leads, the store manager.
APASM: A salaried member of management in charge of all things AP. This is mainly things like theft, but can also include other things as well.
TL: Team Lead. Directly under the coach, these hourly supervisors run a small team. They work to develop the members of that team. They may also act as the manager on duty in the absence of a salaried member of management (must have training to do so).
AT: Academy trainers. This position currently only exists in NHMs. This position is in charge of training new employees. In Supercenters, this role falls to the team lead.
TA: Team associate. This is the regular associates of Walmart.
DM: Department Manager. This position has been almost completely phased out, save for a few exceptions. Their job is to run a specific department.
Claims Supervisor: The person in charge of claims.
APA: Asset Protection Associate. This person is meant to help stop theft. They will often roam the store, keeping an eye on customers whom they deem suspicious and will deal with theft issues as they arise.
SC(O)H: Self checkout host. This person watches over the self checkouts, helping customers and looks for items not scanned.
APCH: AP Customer Host. This person is in charge of doing receipt checks at the doors.
Stockman: a cart pusher
Mod Associate: an Associate who sets mods. Often based on overnights.
People Lead: often referred to as HR, they are the ones in charge of orientations, hiring, etc.
Old Positions
Cap 1: in charge of cleaning up freight and capping grocery and consumable bins. Replaced by stocking team 1
Cap Supervisor: In charge of Cap 1. Replaced by Stocking Lead 1
FCAP 1: Fresh cap team 1. In charge of working the Meat, Produce, Bakery, and Deli Freight and capping. Replaced by Meat/Produce team, bakery team, and deli team.
FCAP 1 Supervisor: In charge of FCAP 1. Replaced by Meat/Produce Lead, Bakery Lead, and Deli Lead
Cap 2: In charge of unloading the GM truck and working freight in grocery and consumables. Replaced by Stocking Team 2
Cap 2 Supervisor: In charge of Cap 2. Replaced by Stocking Lead 2.
Support Manager: A position in charge of various things across the stores. Often referred to as "Managements bitch", they basically do whatever salaried members of management ask of them while often helping to run the store. Often viewed as a stepping stone between hourly management and salaried management.
FCAP 2: Fresh Cap 2. In charge of capping, culling, and doing markdowns for Meat, Produce, Bakery, and Deli. Replaced by Meat/Produce team, Bakery Team, and Deli Team.
ON: Overnights. In charge of different things which vary by store, but usually FDD freight, finishing up Grocery and consumable freight, and working GM Freight. Replaced by Stocking Team 3
ON Support Manager: In charge of overnights. They report directly to the overnight asm. Were also MODs in the lack of a salaried member of management. Replaced by Stocking Lead 3.
CSM: customer service manager. Often found to be wearing yellow vests, they are in charge of running the front end. Replaced by Front End Lead
Locations
Grocery Doors: The entrance doors at the front of the store on the grocery side. Will stay open for as long as the store is open.
GM Doors: The entrance doors at the front of the store on the GM side. Will often close earlier in the evening, funneling everyone through the grocery doors.
Bullpen: the encircled area where the self check outs are located
TLE: Tire and Lube Express. Also known as ACC (auto care center)
HBA: Health and Beauty Aids. Also known as HBC (Health and Beauty Care)
OTC: Over the Counter. Refers to Pharmacy
L&G: Lawn and Garden
FDD: Frozen, Dairy, and Deli
CO: Cash Office
Front End: The front of the store. The front end is usually located between the two entrances. It includes all the registers at the front of the store and the service desk, but also includes positions like maintenance and stockmen.
Sales Floor: The area customers have available to shop
Back Room: The employee-only area. This is where trucks are unloaded and overstock goes. HR, Management Offices (except AP), and the break room are also located back here.
Softlines: Apparel departments
Consumables: Items that people use often. These include HBA, Cosmetics, Chemicals, Paper goods, Infants, OTC, and Pets.
Entertainment: everything often referred to as "electronics".
Grocery: any food or drink item, not including fresh
Fresh: Meat, Produce, Deli, and Bakery.
Homelines: Things you would use in a home. Things like bedding, furniture, cooking items, etc. are located in this area.
Hardlines: Basically everything else that doesn't fit into the above categories. These are things people may want, but aren't a necessity.
Action Alley
Action Alley: these are the areas in between departments. They are where customers and associates alike will walk as they are often the quickest ways around the store. They also will have features inside of them to increase sales.
B Action Alley: The Action Alley that separates grocery from apparel
The Cross: the section that separates apparel departments. As apparel is often a different color from the rest of the floor, it is easy to see the division here.
Horse Shoe: Toys, ACC, Hardware, HBA and OTC. When looking at them from a birds eye view, they will often make a horseshoe shape, but this is not in all stores.
Bowling Alley: the area between apparel and the front end registers. It is said that customers often look like bowling pins when they are lined up. May also be called the trench.
Main Alley: The back most action alley. May also be known as Long Action Alley or Back Action Alley
Race Track: All of the action alleys combined
Walls
Wet Wall: Located in Produce, its the wall with the fresh vegetables on it. Will often have rugs underneath to absorb excess moisture as there are sprinklers on this wall.
Meat Wall: The area where meat is sold
97 Wall: the area that holds bacon, hot dogs, lunch meat, lunchables, and the like
End Cap: At the end of all aisles that aren't against a wall. Features are set here to capture customer's eyes and sell more product.
Zoning
While zoning, Walmart employs a method known as fast zoning. To do a proper fast zone, take the following steps:
  1. for the first layer (the layer touching the shelf) start at the edge of the shelf closest to you.
  2. Fill all the way back until you reach the end of the shelf. Do not stack anything until this first layer is completed.
  3. After the first layer is completed, you may start the second layer. The second layer (and all layers above this) start at the back of the shelf and come forward. Do not start another layer until the previous layer is full.
Stocking
Case: a box of freight that holds multiple items inside of it that go on the shelf.
PDQ: Product Display Quantity. Some products will come in special cases meant to show off the product better. Also known as SRPs (Shelf Ready Packaging)
Breakpacks: the mixed boxes that come off the truck that will have small items in them that couldn't be thrown into the truck. May also be referred to as Totes, One Touch, or Casepack.
Fast track: The piece of plastic that holds the shelf labels
Bunkers: Located in grocery, these are the frozen or chilled areas not connected to the walls. They are often used for features. Also known as cooler bunker
Stackbase: a 4x4 plastic/wooden pallet that goes in action alley. Holds features.
COMAC: Food features that Home Office mandates
TIP: Towel in Pocket. Some associates will carry towels with them so they can easily clean up small spills. Not to be confused with TIPS
Buttholes: Hanging products can often rip, making it so they can't be hung anymore. Buttholes are sticky pieces of plastic that are attached to products like that so they can be rehung. May also be known as tabs, do-its, dang-it’s or damn-it’s.
Topstock: The highest shelves. They are meant to hold products that can't go on the shelves. May also be called risers
WACOs: Walmart Approved Corrugated Container. boxes kept on topstock or the backroom that are meant to hold products that don't easily fit on topstock or in the bins. Usually because they're so small or tend to roll around
Trucks and the Backroom
HVDC: High Velocity Distribution Center. This is the grocery truck. Also called remix
McLanes: The candy truck. While it may have other departments in it (mainly pets, OTC, Tobacco, and grocery) it is almost all candy. Depending on location it may also be CoreMark
Origin: The truck that McLanes arrives on
Dance Floor: The space used for truck unloading
Hole in the Wall: the Trash Compactor
Baler: where plastic and cardboard are recycled. The baler makes compact, rectangular bales that are then taken to recycling centers to be reused.
Bin: The individual areas where overstock is kept in the backroom.
Steel: the steel that overstock is kept in. Contains the bins
Top-Steel: where pallets of merchandise or other important items are stores in the backroom. Located at the top of the steel.
Cap: The process of scanning items into a bin
Pick: When capping, the scanner will tell you if an item needs to go out to the floor.
Work: After capping, working the cart is when you take the cart of merchandise out and stock the items that were picked.
Inventory Flow Process: the process of items making their way from the manufacturer to customers homes.
CAP: Customer Availability Program. The process of making sure our shelves are stocked for the customers
DSD: Direct to Store Delivery. Products that come in from warehouses other than those owned by Walmart. Are usually stocked by the vendors or reps from those companies.
MABD: Must Arrive By Date
OSCA: On Shelf Customer Availability. The percentage of items we have in stock and on the shelves so that customers may purchase them
RPCs: Reusable Plastic Containers. the foldable plastic crates used in fresh departments.
Backload: sending pallets, rpcs, and break pack boxes back to the warehouses so they can be reused.
Miscellaneous
CBLs: Computer Based Learning. Replaced by the ULearn System
Telxon: an old scanner. Most stores do not have these anymore, but some still hold on to these relics. They are most often used in fabrics and crafts. Other forms of scanners include MCs or TCs. May also be referred to as a scanner, handheld, or gun (there are little triggers that sort of make the scanners look like guns
Onboarding: The initial training videos associates watch when they are hired. Replaced pathways
ULearn: The additional training associates will undergo every so often.
TIPS: Threaten Intimidate Promise Spy. An illegal method of dealing with unionizing
FOE: Facts, Opinions, and experiences. A lawful way of dealing with unionizing.
The Mule: the machines that stockmen use to push carts
Shopping Cart Party: When a group of associates goes outside to round up carts. Happens when stockmen fall behind. Also known as a buggy run
HEATKTE: High Expectations are the Key to Everything (Pronounced Het-Ka-Tee)
EDLC: Every day low cost. The way Walmart keeps prices low by reducing everyday costs.
EDLP: Every day low price. Correlates with EDLC
WOSH: Worked over Scheduled Hours. Will depend on the time of year and your management team, but as a general rule, working longer than you're scheduled is frowned upon unless you have management approval. You may be asked to cut any extra hours you accumulate throughout the week by taking a longer lunch or leaving early/coming in late
OBW: One best way. This is the official way everything is supposed to be run. Most stores do not follow this, however, and run things however they please.
Coaching: a disciplinary action.
Open Door: the process of taking concerns, ideas, or problems to higher ups. Starting with your immediate supervisor (or the next step higher if your supervisor is part of the problem), you discuss the idea or problem with management until it is resolved.
Ethics: a place to take all your ethical concerns. Be aware that ethics only deals with issues that are legal issues or are in direct violation of Walmarts Statement of Ethics.
GWP: Great Workplace. The phasing out of old supervisor roles to make way for the new team system. Has been renamed Teaming.
GAIN: global associate interactive network. the process of ending an associates employment.
One Walmart: Walmart’s site for employees. May also be called the wire
[email protected]: a free app on the App Store that allows you to view your schedule. Replaced the mywalmartschedule app
BYOD: allows you to download work apps to your personal phone. Only available in certain states.
WIN: Walmart Identification Number. This is your employee number.
submitted by atokadelggon to walmart [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 00:10 J-Bradley1 (M30) How to tell GF (F30), we might need to start scheduling/planning our dates more in advance?

Been dating my Girlfriend for a few months now. Coming up on 4-5 if I’m right (I don‘t think we have an official “Start“ date for our relationship). Having already been secretly crushing on her for a long time before going steady (we met as co-workers), as well as how stunning I find her, I’m 1000 feet over the moon.
Its been mostly good all-good, but there is one thing that’s been “catching” me lately. In my previous relationship, we’d always plan out our dates in advance. We’d set up a time & day to hang out, so we’d both have time to prepare, clear our schedules & have time to prep for each other. It was controlled, and made sure neither of us were “Caught off guard” or stepping on the other’s toes if they were in the middle of something, or had something planned for that day already.
Probably most of all, it gave me time to clean my room, and to shower & freshen up. Before seeing a girl I’m “involved” in, that’s really important for me personally. Making sure I’m fresh for them. Setting up our dates ahead of time really worked for us. _______________________________________________________________________
With my new girlfriend, even though I’m still happy in our relationship, it’s the complete opposite from that. She calls me out of the blue, and asks if I want to hang out right THEN & THERE.
(“You want to come see me here in a few?”)
My rooms a disaster site, I worked the whole night previously, and I’m almost out of body wash.
Like I said earlier, I want to be as fresh as I can be for her when we hang out. That means a pretty thorough, “comprehensive” wash-up process of showering, hair-scrubbing, face-washing & teeth brushing. Trust me, I‘m WELL aware of how bad that sounds, but it‘s just a peculiarity of mine. Maybe it’s a paranoid of smelling bad & putting her off from it.
So this all takes a bit of time, but if I start to take too long, she’ll start blowing up my phone, telling me to hurry up, she’s waiting, and in the worst cases, canceling it altogether.
She’ll call me & want me to hang out right Then, on the spot before I can get anything ready. I like to be fresh & presentable to her, as it makes me feel good, and I’m sure she won’t mind either. But when she wants me to head out at that MOMENT, I always get a little flustered.
Everything else in our relationship is going pretty great, and this certainly isn’t a deal breaker of any sort. But, it IS a snag of mine that I’d really want smoothened out. What are some “nice” ways to tell my Girlfriend that, instead of calling me over On-The-Spot, that I’d prefer that we set up a time & date to hang out instead?
tl:dr: Girlfriend spontaneously calls me to come over & hang out without giving me any of the prep-time I think I need before seeing her, how can I tell her we need to plan our dates further in advance so I can have time get ready?
submitted by J-Bradley1 to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 23:27 Thinkingandstuff Talking about sex straight away

I was directed here by https://www.reddit.com/dating_advice/ I asked the question there and didn't get much of a response.
This is something that seems to divide opinion. On some sites, I've been able to discuss things like kinks, turn ons, hard limits and turn offs almost immediately with some women and it's been really helpful in terms of working out whether or not we should continue the conversation.
Obviously if one of you is really in to something the other person can't stand, there's probably no point in going any further, so this has always seemed like a common sense approach to me.
I'm not really interested in dirty talk via messages, though it's sometimes ended up like that, which can be quite fun. My main reason for trying to do this is purely practical.
Unfortunately, I know that a lot of men still send horrifically offensive messages to women without even understanding they've done anything wrong. Somebody I was speaking to last week showed me a couple and I was shocked. Essentially threats of sexual violence. The laughably hyper machismo and almost child like hostility was something else. It didn't surprise me but it did make me even more ashamed to be male. It's embarrassing that so many men can't talk about sex objectively without needing to act out in some way.
Once we had talked about the idiocy of people like that, we went back to discussing rough sex, dominance, and other fun things but it seemed obvious to me that this was about us both going through our own preferences to check compatibility, rather than a precursor to anything overtly sexual happening in real life or via text. (It turned out we had a few things in common but not really enough to make it worthwhile us meeting in person.)
I really wish more people were open to communicating like this. I've always hated flirting, romance and anything like that. There's nothing more attractive than people who get straight to the point.
Does anybody else prefer this approach or are people here a little more traditional? (There's nothing at all wrong with that, by the way. Everybody is different.)
submitted by Thinkingandstuff to sex [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 23:10 beeleedee3 Feeling like part of a black mirror episode part 2

I had a few people asking for more of my creepy encounters after posting this one https://www.reddit.com/creepyencounters/comments/iy03ig/felt_like_i_was_in_a_episode_of_black_mirro?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
  1. When I first started to hang around with this friend we'd often go on walks and hang around in parks etc. This one park we often went to was right next to a cemetery. One day we decided to walk through the cemetery and search for the oldest date on the headstones.
As we walked through we noticed the dates were going back into the 1700's and were shocked that we'd found ones this old. It was getting really dark at this point as we'd been out for awhile and the cemetery had no lighting. We decided it was probably best to head out at this point, as it got darker it got more creepy.
Slowly heading for the exit making sure we go careful. I look up and notice a floating ball of light not far ahead of us hovering over a grave. I point this out to my friends and one of them says it must be a solar panelled light that comes on at night. So we decided to walk closer and check it out. The ball of light stayed in the same place as we approached it and it definitely was not a lamp, there was nothing there. We all stood staring not sure how we felt about what we're seeing. And out of nowhere the ball just started to move away into the darkness, we watched it go and all of my goosebumps were out.
The grave had not long been there. My friend checked the headstone and that person was buried the same year. We decided it was a good idea to leave at this point. But as we turned to quickly get out of there we noticed another ball of light just over to the left of us. My friend got her phone out and shon her light over in that direction, and the ball was hovering infront of a very large statue, at least 2m high, of an angel. This was a grave stone I do believe but it really reminded me of the wheeping angels from Doctor Who so that was me straight out of the cemetery.
I did not go back here, but the two friends I was with did. A few days after this incident I was at home and them two went back. This time they headed straight for the angel statue. They had a little look around the area and checked to see if the person had a matching surname to the other grave where we'd seen the ball of light but they did not match, although they could of been related or friends. When they were at the grave, one of them found an old key. And she decided to take it home with her.
Later that night the three of us were on Skype as they told me about their visit to the cemetery and begun telling me the story about how they found they key. It was just laying on the floor right infront of the angel statue perfectly placed, not on angle, just sat parallel to the headstone. As if someone wanted it to be found.
As we spoke about it and the lights we'd seen days before, my friends camera started to go all pixelated. This is the friend that had taken the key home with her. Her camera froze and in the background just behind her was a face, it genuinely looked like a cherub but it not in a good way.
We could still hear her, and heard her let out a little scream. We were asking her what was wrong and if she was okay. She disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared holding the key to show me. As she entered her room with the key her camera suddenly started working again and we asked what had happened. She said she felt a tap on her shoulder. On her right hand side. Where we'd seen the cherub. But she wasn't aware of it until we told her when she came back.
The key wasn't just a normal looking house key, it looked like one that'd be used for the wardrobe to enter Narnia or something. It was a fancy looking key and it definitely intrigued us as to what it was for. But something just didn't feel right about it. Especially after this encounter.
For a few days after this my friend kept having weird experiences at home, she'd hear footsteps and noises around her house that she'd never heard before. Felt like she was being followed by something that wasn't there either. And worst of all, she kept having nightmares. And in each one she kept seeing angels and the same number repeating in all of these dreams.
So after these experiences we decided it was a good idea to put the key back where it was found. I did not go to do this as I wanted nothing to do with it incase whatever it was made an attachment to one of us. After the key was returned, the nightmares stopped and so did the weird occurrences at her home. We never returned to the cemetery either.
Since this happened though, an exact copy of the angel statue has been placed near the other one, as you can see them both at the back hiding in the shadows surrounded by trees when you drive past.And still to this day they terrify me.
  1. My two friends were walking to meet me, I did not live too far away but it was getting dark and the area we lived in was rough so we decided it was best for us to meet halfway to save me from walking the full distance on my own. They set off a little after me so I got a head start.
As I walked to meet them I got a phone call off one of them, when I answered she was just screaming and shouting. I could not make a word out with what she was saying to me. It sounded like they were running as I could hear feet hitting the ground and the wind blowing into the mic. Eventually I made out "don't walk. Stay there" and the phone went dead.
At the point in the walk that I was at, was a block of shops that I'd just have to walk past to be on a straight road to where they'd be meeting me. I decided to walk past just the block of shops so that I could see them coming down that straight road. As I rounded the corner I saw my two friends sprinting towards me with terrified expressions on their faces.
Within seconds they were at my side and grabbed my arms pulling me into the nearest shop as they ran. I asked what was happening and if everything was okay and they both stood panting trying to spit out what had scared them so much. As they both collected their breath I managed to make out parts of the story.
They were walking along minding their own business, it was dark out at this point so they were heavily relying on street lights to be able to see further ahead of them. Talking between the two of them, they got to a huge corner and begun to walk around it without looking across the road. As they got further round this huge corner, one looked up to see a dark off road, with a single streetlight lit.
Stood under the street light was a man with his hood up and a mask on. She nudged the other one and she looked up in that direction, still walking as they were across the road from the man. They felt something was dodgy but not like they were in any danger.
That was until the guy caught them both staring at him as they walked, so he dropped his trousers and started aggressively masturbating whilst watching them. At this point they ran, whilst trying to ring me and stop me from walking towards them. The man pulled his trousers up and ran at them too.
The area the man was stood, was a shortcut through for where I'd be walking to so if they hadn't have rang me I'd of walked down a dark alley and a dark road, straight into this creepy man exposing himself to underage girls and masturbating at them.
We decided it was best to stay in the shop for a little while as this had spooked them and put me on edge too. As we headed down the first aisle after standing and talking for awhile so I could get the story off them, I turned to find a guy stood looking at us weirdly. My friends had walked off ahead so I sped up to catch them up and told them, as we were all on edge at this point. They turned to look at him and instantly recognised the shoes and clothes he was wearing as the creepy guy who was stood on the corner. So that explains the way he was watching us.
They instantly looked panicked so we decided to stay in the store where it was lit, there was many people and staff around if he was to do anything and if we needed any help. He kept appearing around the shop watching us but we kept changing aisles to get away from him. Eventually we tricked him into thinking we were going to pay for our items on the self service tills so he did the same, and we walked off without scanning any in and went back into the aisles.
We kept peaking to see when he'd gone and he eventually walked out. We saw him walk past the side of the store as its full glass windows and he looked fuming but kept his eyes on us as he walked off. Deciding it was a bad idea to leave straight away we stayed in the store and when we left we headed the opposite direction to what we saw him go.
Even later on when we walked back that way we were on edge. As we neared the area that he had done his disgusting act, a man on a bike kept going past us and staring. Making us think that this was him, but decided that there was safety in numbers so we all wanted to get home safely as my mate could not get a ride home. Thankfully nothing happened after that.
After discussing it with parents, they reported it to the police and within a few weeks it was found that numerous reports had been made about the same man doing this in surrounding areas. He had a wife and kids, and was working on a site across the road from the block of shops where he'd stalked us around. So he knew the area well and knew that the shortcut was used often and badly lit. This to me shows he had bad intentions to do something to someone as he'd put himself in a perfect spot for this to happen.
That person could and would have been me if I had set off a few minutes earlier I'd have been caught in his trap. At the time I was only about 14 too. He got charged for what he did and apparently he admitted to the police that he had a serious problem.
submitted by beeleedee3 to creepyencounters [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 22:40 jirejire12 How to solve the "Desi dating sites don't have enough people in my area" problem?

Everyone is always saying that sites like Dil Mil don't have enough people nearby.
Here's the idea:
A meeting/dating/social site costs $5 per month. Affordable subscription narrows down the cheap people who treat free things as worthless and want something for nothing.
To start, each person pays $15 per month. Price comes back down to $5 when they get two friends to join in the first month.
If two friends don't join the first month, the price stays at $15 until the next "stampede" period.
"Stampede" periods happen unexpectedly, so it's best to just get two friends and sign up together.
This solves the "not enough people" problem by making sure everyone gets at least two more people to join. Very quickly, everyone in an area has signed up and everyone can find their person (for friendship, dating, maybe marriage, etc.). :)
New members can also get anyone to join -- not just other friends who are single.
The service would have other features. Dating is just one part. The site wants you to find your best partner, because you'll want to stay and use the site even if you're not dating anymore. It's not the usual game of keeping people online forever instead of finding suitable partner(s).
I also thought of having gender ratio (no more than one man for every one woman) but that might be hard to do online.
What do you think? Would you add anything? Change anything?
submitted by jirejire12 to ABCDesis [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 22:12 N64SmashBros FiiO FA9 Review: Diminishing Returns for Endgame IEM's start Here.

I have started to see FA9 impressions starting to trickle in and wanted to share my experience/provide any AMA for those curious. For context, my headphone journey has been:
Shure Se215->Sennheiser HD439->AKG K545-> Fidelio X1->FiiO FH5->FiiO FA9
Currently only have the X1's, Pixel Buds 2, and FA9. They are paired to a 320kbps spotify with a FiiO E10 and FiiO BTR3.
Unboxing and Fit
The unboxing process was impressive and reminiscent of the FH5's. It makes you feel like you bought a quality product. The amount of tips is an added bonus but for $500, I should they hope they pack this many. The faux leather case is really spacious but still portable. Can fit my BTR3, the brush/switch selector, and an extra set up tips easily.
I have the black ones and they are easily the nicest looking IEM's I have ever seen. The black makes them a little more understated than the white/clear but man, they are easily the nicest looking headphones/IEM's. When I am not listening, I just like to look at them.
Fit is fantastic compared to the FH5. To be honest, the main reason I upgraded to the FA9 was due to the more ergonomic design/deeper nozzle than the FH5. I ended up using the memory foam inserts and they are the most comfy. The treble rolloff you typically experience with foams can be compensated with the switch system (more on that later). Cable is beautifully braided, no issues.
Sound Impressions
I prefer slightly warm side of neutral with a full bottom end. The FA9's are definitely the most neutral sounding IEM I have experienced to date but I would not consider them too analytical. I think that is in part of the switch based cross-over they have; I was able to get the sound tuned to something that worked best for me. After working through the switches, I found the ON/ON/ON positions the best for me.
The result of the switches are subtle but really are amazing. I thought they would be gimmicky but provide me as the end user to provide a sound output depending on the application. I do not think I would want an IEM without them going forward. Definite chameleon of IEM's.
Switch 1 alters the impedance rating for the IEM. I found the sound very dark/muted/veiled with the first switch off. However, perhaps I do not have the proper amp to bring out that higher impedance. I found the first switch on to really bring the sound more forward and the veil lifted. I was expecting a more present sound floor but I really could not tell the difference.
Switch 2 alters the treble. I kept this on (more sparkle) due to the foam tips treble roll off. When using silicone, I found the sound a little too bright/almost sibilant with switch 2 on. It almost comes off as un-natural to me. However, with the foam tips, it is perfect for me.
Switch 3 trades mids for bass. I kept it on so less bass and more mids. However, even with the switch on, I found the bass plenty, even coming from the FH5. Turning the switch off makes the sound more V tuned and pushes the vocals further back. If you use the bass tips and switch this one off, these guys will rattle your brain. Perfect for watching movies on the go.
Bass
Given my tips and switch setting, I they are very much present and neutral. They do not have the oomph/gravitas that the FH5's had but still provides a satisfying bottom end. EDM and rap is an absolute pleasure to listen to. The switch turned off definitely brings the bass to a new level if needed. All personal preference but I am impressed that I even have the ability to do switch between preferences.
Mids/Highs
With the 3rd switch on, mids are very forward and warm. There is a weight to vocals, the timbre of strummed strings, and other details that I never really felt before. So smooth and natural. Songs that are acoustic/minimal has such a clarity that it really makes you sit back and be wowed. I think the mids are the secret to the presentation to this IEMs. Whereas the FH5's had the W sound with that random spike in the upper mids thereby leaving an odd presentation, the FA9's keep it smooth and balanced.
I am particularly sensitive to treble/sibilance. However, I found the sparkle clean, concise, and airy. It is the perfect balance of detail without being overbearing. Brings a new level of detail to music that I have not experienced prior.
Final Remarks, Value Proposition, etc.
I went into purchasing the FA9's mainly for a better fit and future proofing my headphone setup. I was not expecting this big of a jump from the FH5s. The level of clarity, detail, separation, and the ability to tangibly alter the sound is something I have never seen in such a cohesive package. This is my endgame as I firmly believe diminishing returns begin here.
I personally do not see a reason to further upgrade from the FA9's. For $500, I am not sure there is a more cohesive yet versatile IEM package.
The only optional upgrade I plan to compliment is a BTR5/perhaps a balanced cable. Otherwise, a nearly 10 year journey has resulted to this.
Happy to answer any and all questions/any pictures you would like (professional sites have much better pictures anyway :) )
submitted by N64SmashBros to headphones [link] [comments]


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